autism, delevelopmental problems, or just slow?

Question

My nephew is 4 and 1/2 and still speaks baby language. He doesn't speak sentences or say the words clearly. He doesn't like to play with others, and when we go into public he pretends he's falling asleep and will just lay there, we could be in a crowded restaurant or at a children's museum. He just finished potty training, and doesn't have any manners. He will just take things away from kids and people, without asking or saying please and thank you. My brother is a single parent and is always at work and school and just leaves him at whoever's house that can babysit. I told him to see a specialist, but he thinks his son is just being cute and baby talks him, encouraging him. What do you think?

Answer 1

It sounds like your nephew could have a delay, but I'm not sure I would go as far as "autism."

By 4 1/2 years old, your nephew should be producing most of his sounds correctly (with the exception of r, sh, ch, and s) and should be speaking in mostly 4-5 word sentences. He should also be able to use his language in many different ways, such as asking and answering questions, providing information, commenting, requesting... He should also have a wide variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives in his vocabulary.

If you have concerns about his language development, or any other aspect of development, you should contact the public school. They are responsible for evaluating and providing treatment for all children over the age of 3 within their district. They can do a speech and language evaluation, as well as look at fine motor (things with the hands, including writing), gross motor (walking, jumping, etc...) and social/adaptive skillls. They would be able to tell you whether or not he has a delay in any or all areas of development as well as provide information as to whether or not he needs help achieving catching up to his peers.
These services are provided FREE to anyone who requests them.

You could also look into local universities and medical centers. They often have developmental evaluation services available as well (if you live near a big city). Some insurance companies will cover evaluations, however most do not and the cost is often over $500.

My instinct... contact the school, set up an apointment, and have him evaluated. The testing doesn't hurt, and the worst thing they can say is "there's a problem, and here's how we're going to help him."

Answer 2

I have a daughter who has autism, and her language skills were even more delayed in developing than what you are reporting about your nephew. Of course, autism is one of those things that comes in all degrees of seriousness, so it's possible that your nephew may be "less autistic" than my daughter. Also, my daughter didn't really potty train well until about 4 1/2, either. The manners thing, though, is more likely a function of not being taught. My daughter, even though she was slow in developing language, was still taught things like "please" and "thank you" because she learned that if she didn't, she didn't get what she wanted. Bottom line, it's possible that your nephew could have a developmental problem like autism, but there is no way to get a definitive diagnosis here - only a qualified medical doctor or psychologist/behaviorialist can do that for sure.

If your brother is worried about the cost of seeing such a specialist, most public school districts do the testing and evaluation for free--you are likely to find a telephone number in your local phone book where you can get more information, and then share that with your brother. Remember, though, that one's children are the most precious thing one has in life, and parents are *very* protective of them. Your good intentions could seem, from your brother's perspective, like meddling or criticism of his son, and he won't hear your message--concern for your nephew--unless you tread very, very carefully.

I wish you luck - hope this helps.

Answer 3

I am an Occupational Therapist and work with children with a variety of problems. This child may have some sensory issues causing the withdrawal in crowds, etc. Some of the other stuff does sound behavioral - needs consistent rules and structure. He may have some delays; doesn't really meet all the criteria for Autism (from your description). I would recommend an evaluation by a Developmental Pediatrician, an Occupational Therapist and an Speech/Language Pathologist. He may also be eligible for a HeadStart program through the school system. Good Luck!

Answer 4

**My brother is a single parent and is always at work and school and just leaves him at whoever's house that can babysit. I told him to see a specialist, but he thinks his son is just being cute and baby talks him, encouraging him.** I do believe that is your answer there, this little boy doesn't see his father much and has no constant caregiver other than his father, when he does see his father his rude and aggressive behavior is reinforced in a positive manner, talk to your brother explain you believe his behavior (either directly or indirectly) is negatively affecting his son see if this helps, if at all possible to get one or maybe two people at most to watch him (your nbephew) so he has some kind of constant behavior training,he needs stability and a pattern. if none of this helps and if you are really worried, you can have him tested at a local public school

Answer 5

what you are describing sounds like autism. Kids with autism do not socialise well with others, don't like large crowds, lowed noises, Language delays, They are very smart though. There are several different types of autism. To me it sounds like your nephew has a case of autism. He should go and get tested.

Good luck
Special school district teacher

Answer 6

Sounds to me to be a lack of friends his age. He needs some structure in his life. He is old enough for Pre-K.. your brother needs to take time and teach him things. I have a godchild who is Autistic and they have some similarities.. but that a big step. I believe the child needs to be taught things and leaving him here and there is not going to help. I know it is tough to be a student single parent.. but he really needs to find the time and socialize with him. I hope all is well.

Answer 7

Here is a website that provides information on autism and tells you how to deal with the problem. http://www.arcwa.com/

Answer 8

most kid interact with other kids learn faster and easy because they hear it from the other kids...may he shoud be in a daycare or preschool so he can learn..not babysitter they dont teach much they just watch them and put them to nap.. developmental problem

Answer 9

sounds like bad parenting to me