ok so my parents are super strict! Like I am not allowed to do most of the stuff my friends are: my curfew is 3:30pm...I'm not supposed to hang around after school unless I give my parents a whole report on it and if they say its ok...I cant hang out with my friends over the weekend...they get upset every time i even mention/or ask them if I can go hang out with my friends...they dont allow me to hang out with any guys, and Im not allowed to date (its out of question according to them)...its just that they're so stuck in their own era...they want me to like what they used to be.. I don't know how to make them understand that we are different people...and get them to give me more freedom. By the way I should also mention this: they've told me that the reason I have these rules is because I'm a girl...and they dont think i can take care of myself (they probably want to marry me off to some random guy they pick for me...god i seriously need to get out!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-25 10:20:40 · 18 answers · asked by May 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
by the way I am 16
2007-02-25 10:34:33 · update #1
16 is a rough age. You have reached the age where you want new freedoms. That's not bad but do you realize the dangers in this society? It sounds like you have parents that care. Have you tried to discuss why they do what they do. Tell them you would like the opportunity to be a little more active in what their decision are concerning you. The reasons for what they decide. Not to correct them but to understand them.
Good luck.
2007-03-05 09:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by j.wisdom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, from a parents point of view, we don't like corners.. and the more pressure..., ie...... can I do this, can I go here.....; the answer is going to be no.. just to protect you, and because we're in a corner.
So give them a chance to get out of the corner.
See if you can invite some friends over. Let them see that your friends are not likely to start wearing dog collars and safety pins in their ears.. That's what parents of a 16 yr old girl is terrified of.. belly rings, eyebrow piercing, tongue piercing, tattoos... OH MY GOD we have nightmares at night about our babies.. Their bodies that we have spent 16 years protecting from harm.. then you're going to come home some night with an 8ball in your tongue..... lol
BTW my daughter is 24 now.... been where your parents are, done what they are doing.
You both need to establish a level of trust.
Our daughter was sneaky about it....lol
She used us against ourselves. She pointed out that she had raised us with these values.. Did we really think that she hadn't been paying attention??? then she had taken the liberty of drawing up a contract.. allowing for a reasonable stretch beyond what we were giving her,,, but not what her friends had yet... and a very strict punishment/grounding/additional chores, far more than we would have handed out, if she did not meet the guidelines laid out in her contract. If after 3 months passed and she had met her obligations and goals, (maintaining her grades) then the curfews would be renegotiated.
We were sold.. we were out of the corner, back in control, we didn't have to be dictators (most parents don't like that role), and we found that the things we had taught our daughter really had stuck.
Good luck
2007-03-05 02:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask if you can except company. You also said allot, but didn't say anything. What are your friends really like that your parents are like this. I know this sound like I am on their side, but not really. 3:30 is way too early to come in the house and I'm sure it's embarrassing. Try talking to the parents and if that fail.... you have 2 more years under their watch. Something tells me, you are gonna thank them one day. Life is rough for kids now days. You all are coming in counter with pressures that we as parents didn't have. It's more dangerous and deadly, think not that they don't love you, they are just protecting you. That's not true, about a girl can't take care of themselves, boys are running wild just as well girls. Build your knowledge up and turn 18 and have your freedom...
2007-03-02 12:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help dealing with your Parents and their rules? You also mention that you are sixteen yrs. old, so you think that you are old enough for them to let go of the leach, they supposedly have on you. Girls, or Boys for that matter think that at the age of 14,15, or 16, they are old enough to make their own decisions as to the curfew, Parents impose on them. When teenagers get into trouble, where do they run to for help? Their Parents, right? I do not think that your Parents are being unfair when they want you to follow their rules they impose on you, do not try to grow up, faster than you will be if you think you can manage your life by yourself better than your Parents have been doing. You will be 18 yrs. old in two yrs. then, you will be able to make your own decisions, but if you do not appreciate what your Parents are doing for your own good then you are an ungrateful girl, that do not appreciate the sacrifice your Parents have done for you. The only way you will see things differently is when you get Married and have a Family, is when you are going to think about the way your Parents raised you, you will realize that they were doing it because thy Loved you.
2007-03-01 16:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do keep in mind, that you are 16 years old and that its only two more years til you can legally tell them to shove it. Yes, your parents are very strict, but what hacks me off the most is that they think you cant take care of yourself. Did you know that a woman invented bullet proof vests? That without bullet proof vests, a lot more men (and women) would be dead. I'm 18 and I'm in the Navy and I love it. I'm fully capable of taking care of myself, as are you. As is every woman on this planet. Another thing, My family's been telling me for I dont know how many years, that I'm going to get sent to Iraq and I'm going to die. The way I figure, if 18 years of them hasnt killed me yet, Iraq has no chance. I dont like people getting inside me and messing with me. Dont let them set your standards and dont let them get you down. They're not worth it. Years from now your going to be looking down at them after they told you you couldnt do it, and guess who's going to look stupid then. I'll give you a hint: It wont be you. Good luck and stay strong.
2007-02-25 10:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear need help,
i happen to know that at the age of 16 you feel like your parents are out to do you in but it is just that they have watched over you and protected you all your life and they are as we all are creatures of nature, i use the I statements when I get in a situation. It is where u sit down with them and say when u treat me this way I feel " " . and wait patiently for their response. Dont begrudge them the right to be your parents . The obviously love you very much and only want wats best for you, Please try to understand them better, I wish you all the best stay in school and follow your dreams. Cause you only live once!
2007-03-04 20:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by eannhil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same age as you and we have the same rules in our house, you will not believe this now but you are a lucky girl, you have parents who care. I know the rules and follow them, do you think that your whining is easy on your parents, my cousin is also 16 yrs old , she dresses like a ****, cusses, hangs with her buds and is so un lady like that no one in the family can stand to be around her, and her mother thinks it okay. So suck it up and follow the rules, you can be a ****, drink and hang out with you friends when you move out.
2007-03-05 04:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if they were stuck in their era they would let you hang out. Have you ever watched the news? Don't you think that maybe they are trying to protect you. They don't want to see you on a milk carton. They don't want you to date because your naive and they don't want you to be taken advantage of. Sweetie I'm sorry but I agree with your parents. There is too much to be scared of out there now. Extremely if your a a parent. I'm sorry but try looking at it from they perspective your their baby-girl. They want to protect you.
2007-03-05 08:08:12 · answer #8 · answered by sarahzcat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you need to have an open and honest conversation with your parents without the DRAMA and tell them how you feel.
If you show them that you can be responsible and smart, they can start giving you more space, but don't espect that you wont have rules anymore. Belive me having rules is not bad at all.
I think is better to have parents that care than parents that don't.
2007-03-03 11:50:56 · answer #9 · answered by Chivolita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could ask your parents if you could have friends come over to your house so that your parents can get to know them.
Your parents are only protecting you from doing the wrong things and getting in trouble. You need to show them that you can be trusted to make the right decisions.
2007-02-25 10:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋