If you had a family member who was an addict for over twenty years and has caused you nothing but grief, sorrow and heartache. If they constantly stole, lied, and was the talk of the town. Would you for give them if they claimed that they have 'seen the light' and was clean for 3 months?
2007-02-25 10:08:41 · 10 answers · asked by fenway2k 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That is a really thinker. Well i would, but it would take some time and healing. They would really have to prove them selves to me. Family is very important, But one can only take so much. You might want to say a little prayer for him every day. All you can do is watch and wait.
Time will tell let him know that you will help but if he crosses the line again that will be it.
I hope this helps you a little. I will be praying for you and them.
2007-02-25 10:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by janet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. 20 years is a long time to make up for in 3 months. Give them a year. If they still 'see the light' then talk to them... THEN decide if they should be forgiven.
2007-02-25 18:20:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anynomous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont kno if they start again u should seriously talk to them and say whatgrief they r causing u 2 have and if they stay clean they deserve a second chance give this some thought
2007-02-25 18:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough struggle, I offer the following:
Matthew 18:21-22 "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?' 'No, not seven times,' answered Jesus, 'but seventy times seven . . ."
Look at your bible and read the rest of this story it is a good one. Also remember the prodigal son story Luke 15:11-32. It is beautiful.
I do understand your frustration of being hurt numerous times. Set up a positive reinforcement system. If he wants to borrow money. Say, I can give you $20, but my lawn needs mowing. How about you mow my lawn and then you won't owe me the $20 back.
Go to church with your family member. If they have "seen the light" they will be thrilled you're joining them. Go to Alanon meetings if they're in AA or NA. If they're not, encourage them to go. Even if they're not going, go to Alanon anyway. Experienced people can help you!
God bless!
2007-02-25 18:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well yes if i really loved this family member and you have too remember it was the drugs that was making this person to do all of this bad stuff.
2007-02-25 18:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forgive them, but I wouldn't forget. Will still be watching their every move if I invited them into my home. And no, I wouldn't loan them any money. If I did give them money, it would be for some work or chore that they did for me. I know exactly how you feel. My brother is on drugs. That is how I deal with him, when he is around me.
2007-02-25 19:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id be very cautious but people do change but he will need alot longing then 3 months to prove that to me.
2007-02-25 19:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive, but never forget. Be there for them but at arms length if you haven't seen proof of their turn around.
2007-02-25 18:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Shotzie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
'Forgive but never forget' ... meaning never give them trust.. people like that usually fall in to there old ways.. talk to them but dont do anything that requires trust
2007-02-25 19:25:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
their your family..so your good for sticking by them but i understand that you as one person can only take so much so what i would do is stand by them. but not to close. give them boundries and let that you are not gonna take any crap !
2007-02-25 18:14:41 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋