My boyfriend is 30 and we have been together for 7 months.... he wont initiate anything physical with me. He has said that he knows he has issues and apologizes. One time when we were beginning to move things forward he stopped me right in the middle of it.... since then nothing has happened. Is there anything I can do to help him feel more comfortable?
2007-02-25 09:16:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Find out what his issues are. Talk to him. Issues could mean a lot of things...he could have been raped, he could have come from an abusive family, he could have been in a controlling sexually abusive relationship previously. Rape and sexual abuse isnt exclusively a woman thing. Communication is one of the most important things in any solid relationship...its only when you have open honest lines of communiation can true intimacy exist. How can you make him feel more comfortable? Tell him you understand he has issues, but to be able to really understand you need to know what these issues are. Show him you love him by your need to understand everything about him...inlcuding the "bad" things. You dont know what these issues are...maybe they are really serious and he needs professional help to deal with them. Show him your support...make him feel comfortable in the fact that he can tell you anything without feeling embarrassed. Tell him you love him no matter what. Its the communication that will solve this problem...it will arm you with vital information to know what to do. You have to find out what these issues are first, then you will know what to do.
2007-02-25 09:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I would feel pretty lucky if I were you. I cant kick my husband hard enough sometimes. Is there a possibility that something may have happened to him in his life that makes him not want sex 24/7 like most males? He may be hiding something. Have a serious talk with him.
2007-02-25 09:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by joolybean28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have erection problems? It sounds like he's nervous about performing well or something. I'm not really sure what you can do, except for let him make the move, if he wants to.
Or, you can try what Justme said!
2007-02-25 09:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It almost sounds like your man is afraid of not being able to please you intimately, your best bet is to reasurre him that you love him, regardless ask him does he really wan't to be with you because you need to know tell him how this is making you feel unwanted, and not attractive that way you will hopefully get answers to clarify whether it's his problem or he is making you out to be his problem, good luck.
2007-02-25 09:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe something traumatizing happened to him when he was little? if that's the case, i would just chill and wait for him to come to you. he's aware he has issues but he shouldnt have to apologize. if the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldn't want him to pressure you. i say chill and have the KY Jelly ready for when he is! :)
2007-02-25 09:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by isooRock♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either wait for him to get more comfortable or just go crazy on him.
2007-02-25 09:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Obi-Wan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him to let him know how you feel because he will never know what is in your heart if you do not tell him. If he does have a problem let him know that he needs to let you know what it is.. Good Luck!!!!
2007-02-25 09:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has issues make him talk to you about them... or get rid of him. That's the only hope you have.
2007-02-25 09:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by beebee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just wait it out, and gently encourage him to initiate a physical relationship. and whatever you do, DO NOT think it's your fault. it's just something he has to get over.
2007-02-25 09:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by fab expert101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out why he is uncomfortable. Then you'll know what to work on or how to help him.
2007-02-25 09:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by AlyssaH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋