Why is it that when a man treats a single lady like a queen she isnt happy yet treat her like dirt and she is?

Question

I am a Forty Seven year old divorced man who has been back in to dateing for a little over five years now and all I seem to find are women who think that it is all about them or they need space. I am very affectionate and like to hug and kiss, to feel loved and wanted. Yet I am told that that is wrong. If I am allowed to share a womans home that should be enough proof that she loves me. It seems to be all about them and not me. If you treat them like dirt they seem to not be able to get enough. Yet a guy that treats them like a Queen, who try's to spoil them and cater to them ends up being dumped on. I need to understand this somehow. Could someone please explain this to me.

Answer 1

Speaking from experience, Its what their use to. Me, (after being treated so badly by guys) when I finally got a man who treated me like a queen I began to push him away by picking fights and not being affectionate. For a while I just thought that it was him. Then I realized that I have a long history of men treating me like **** and me letting them, that when I got a good thing I nearly destroyed it. I think you should stop searching a let MISS RIGHT find you. DON'T GIVE UP. SHE'S OUT THERE. I PROMISE. GOD MADE SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE. BELIEVE THAT

Answer 2

Maybe they see you as trying to be to over possessive. There is a time and a place for being affectionate. 24/7 gets to be more like your trying to posses the person. I love to cuddle and be kissed too but not 24/7. Your not wrong about being affectionate but every body does need their own space from time to time without a man following us around like a lost puppy. You need to find a hobby that you can do while she does her own thing from time to time. 24/7 affection is smothering the other person. I don't know if I got my point across but I hope you understand.
I would rather be treated like a queen than dirt just not a smothered queen.

Answer 3

stop dating materialistic women. find a woman who appreciates being treated like a queen. you're looking in the wrong places. look for an intelligent and mentally healthy woman. most women can't handle being treated right b/c they never had been in the past. most people go on their experiences in life. unfortunately women w/ low self esteem believe it's ok to be treated badly and don't know what's it's like to be w/ a real man. best wishes in finding a real woman. and stop dating women younger than you only mature women know that a real man treats a woman like a queen. not these little girls you older man go searching for to make you feel younger,b/c you're not on the same level.

Answer 4

I am 44 years old and in the same situation. It does seem to be at our ages that it is all about what you can do for them. I keep coming across damsels in distress all the time. My last breakup cost me alot. I call that stupid tax : ) The best advice I can give to you as a friend is read the book "Condoms, Bras and Straightjacket's" By Charles A. Becker and William S. Brannigan, Jr. It didn't answer all my questions. But it did help and I wish I had read it in high school.

Answer 5

Some women have such low self-esteem that they don't think they deserve to be treated well. Sounds like you've been meeting the wrong kind of women. That might tell you something about the kind of women YOU are attracted to ... if you're open to examining your own choices. Maybe you're drawn to independent, self-centered women. That could certainly be part of the problem, since after five years "all" the women you've dated seem to behave that way.

Answer 6

Some women like having to struggle for a man's approval for some reason. Maybe their mom's were treated bad and they saw that growing up & think its normal. I'm sure there are some women that like lots of attention. Some like it too much, and do not want the guy to have any friends or go anywhere without them. It's hard to find middle ground.

Answer 7

You just haven't found the right woman yet. Perhaps you should expand your criteria and go out with women you would normally pass off. My husband was totally NOT my type, but I gave him a chance and we've been together, very happily, for ten years.

Some women are totally messed up in the head, and it sounds as if that's what you are attracted to: the woman that likes to be treated badly. Evaluate your tastes, compare them to the women you are attracted to, compare them to the women that appreciated your queenly treatment, and adjust your expectations.

Answer 8

my friend and i were having this same conversation the other day! i think that the thrill is in the chase. if a man is doing too much and being too sweet, we aren't able to respect that because there is no challenge. that poor soul has been conquered and then becomes boring.

however, if a guy doesn't call all the time, smother you with affection and all that other crap, we are forced to analyze ourselves. am i not hot enough, smart enough, perky enough . . .
that guy becomes a challenge. 'can i make him want me?'

women are complex creatures. it's up to the man to find that perfect balance between the good guy and the bad ***.

Answer 9

Take it from a female; you are way too needy! It's not that we want to be treated like crap you moron, we want to be treated like a human being. Not a pet, not a posession, but a human being capable of making their own decisions, just like they were before they met you.
I don't know how to make it any clearer, but turning it around and accusing them of only wanting to be treated badly, while at the same time calling your own behavior "treating her like a queen", is absurd. Check yourself.
Hope this explains it clear enough.
Good luck.

Answer 10

I'm not the only one who notices this!!!! Thank You! Watch out for previously married women. I'm seeing that some of them are looking for what I like to term "Man Slaves". They say that you aren't being a Man if you aren't treating them like a queen. I think some women are never satisfied with what a man does. If you don't do anything, they want you to something. If you do something, they want you to do more. If you do more, they want you to go above and beyond. If you go above and beyond, they still aren't happy, or still find something wrong with you. I hope all women aren't like this. You end up feeling like a failure because you can't ever make your woman happy.