should my mother in law take my three month old out to breakfast every day?

Question

i just went back to work two weeks ago and my mother in law has been waching my three month old. i just found out through my older daughter that they go to this restaraunt every single day for breakfast. she called and wanted to know why i had a problem with it and i said it doesnt have to be every day. my husband and i are fighting now because he agrees with his mom and sees nothing wrong with it. I feel that if your waching my kid you should respect my wishes. i dont know why it bothers me but it doe and i feel that i dont need a reason. it bothers me and that should be enough. now they are both mad at me because i told her if she needs to go out to eat on a certain day to let me know and ill arrange for someone else to wach her. she said she needs to go everyday so i said i ll have my other friend babysit. i just dont feel comfortable with her driving around town with her and taking her places where i dont know the people or who is handling my baby.n

a lot of you are right. i should quit my job. i never wanted to go back yet any way and i feel i can raise her how i want. as her first grandaughter i dont feel i should have to pay her to wach her and i only let her stay with her because she wanted to wach her so badly. i dont need her to wach her. i chose to let her be with her grandaughter. if i had a child in daycare and they weren't taking care of my kid the way i want them to id find another daycare. it just seems odd that she cant give that up two times a week for her grandaughter. weird. she says she feels like a 15 year old babysitter because i give her notes of things to do but i try to explain that anytime you wach someone elses kid there are things that they expect. if i say dont give the 7year old candy i expect you wont give her candy. shes my kid still even if she is in your care. i just feel this way.

Answer 1

You clearly need to quit your job and raise your child yourself. You won't be happy until you do.

Answer 2

A couple of questions. Your older daughter;how long has she been watching her: Or does she watch her? Do you pay for her services? How old is she? Did she do this before babysitting for you? You should have found out this and all of the above and more questions before you leave your baby with her or anyone else. I don't think this is worth the fighting or hurtful feelings. As long as the baby is taken care of. Car seat, etc. Sounds like she knows everyone there and she's very proud to have another granddaughter and wants to show her off. If she didn't have this habit before----then I would definately-lay down the law. Especially if your paying her. Otherwise-let it be-for now. Eventually the baby will grow and may become to cumbersum and she will stop. Don't fight with your husband-try to talk about it and come to an agreement. Rule #1 ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHERS BACK...ESPECIALLY WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED. Good luck.

Answer 3

As the mother of two children, I understand your wish to have much more control over who your children come in contact with. The world is a scary place and childhood is so fleeting. But, now that my oldest is in kindergarten I have more perspective. You can't control your child's total environment. And unless your mil is a terrible driver and your child is in imminent danger, I really think you are overreacting. Mind you, this is coming from a stay at home mom who has almost never had a babysitter of any kind. I do understand wanting to protect your baby. But I think you need to examine this to see if this is really a control issue. Because really, down the road, this could be a wonderful bonding experience for grandma and grandbaby. And you do want your child's relatives to love the baby, right? Bottom line: do you trust your mil to take care of your baby or not? Or are you jealous of the time that someone else is spending with your child because you have to work? Doesn't make you a bad person but if you don't address these issues and deal with them in a way that is realistic and honest, it could have lasting repercussions that would be very negative for your child and your family.

Answer 4

You don't know why it bothers you, but it does? Shouldn't you figure out what's going on inside your own mind and what's behind your own statements BEFORE you expect people to respect it?

I agree with the person above who says you are lucky that you have someone in your family who can watch your child, I'd kill for that luxury. You may decide to not let your MIL watch your child and let your friend keep your child and your friend could do something that actually harms your child. You never know. This doesn't sound to be about your child, it seems to be about your wanting to be right and dictate the rules to your husband, who is also in charge or raising his child 50/50 with you. Why do you feel you can tell him how you want things and he should just listen. Then out of the same mouth we wonder why men won't take equal responsibilities with the children. Why should they if they get to be bossed around like a second class citizen in their own home regarding their own child.

Answer 5

toddlers have very small appetites, and nonetheless have advance spurts the place they consume lots, and then pass long sessions eating little or no. mutually as i'm uncertain how lots nutrition she's getting at tea, and how vast the fish arms are, that certainly sounds like incredibly an sufficient weight loss plan for a newborn. A banana is extremely filling, so it is not dazzling that she would not want a huge meal in basic terms some hours later. you additionally can attempt offering slightly much less milk. six hundred ml/20 oz. is high-quality, yet whilst her urge for nutrition is extremely small, you ought to objective lowering to twelve-sixteen oz. and notice if which will incease her urge for nutrition for different meals. yet interior the tip, it sounds like she's not a choosy eater, and likes one in each and every of those meals (end result, greens, grains, protein meals). So have confidence that she is conscious her own urge for nutrition, and don't push her to consume extra advantageous than she needs.

Answer 6

umm she is taking care of your daughter while you are at work, why should you be bothered if she wants to take her with her to a restaurant for breakfast? I really don't see the big deal either. At this age, it really doesn't matter, she isn't eating the food and your mother in law probably enjoys taking her out for company, doesn't like dining alone and having people stare. You should be grateful she is minding your baby. To be honest, i think you are being a bit unreasonable.

Maybe you have issues with your mother in law and that is what is transferring across in this situation but its not a battle to pick. If you have other problems with her, think about them, are they really a big deal and, if so, put your points forward about that and not something petty like this.

Answer 7

In my opinion, if you have questions about the way a person is caring for your 90-DAY old baby, quit your job and mother your child yourself. Then your problems will be solved.

Answer 8

I think you are overreacting to your mother-in-law taking your kids out to breakfast. There is nothing wrong with her doing that. In fact, I think it is not only generous, but brave. Have you tried taking small children to a restaurant? This woman is willing to do it every day. Wow what a brave woman she is! Still, because you are the mother, you do have the right to ask that your wishes be honored. You are right - you do not need a reason. You don't have to defend or justify your rights as your children's mother to make decisions regarding anything pertaining to your kids. The fact that you asked your mother-in-law not to do this is reason enough. YOU are the mother - not her. That said, you should explain it that way to your husband and ask him to back you up on this. He doesn't have to agree with you and he can agree with his mother's views on this. That's his right as your children's father. Still, beause he is your husband, he should tell his mother that while he sees no harm in her taking your kids out to breakfast, he respects your wishes as their mother and knows that you have your reasons. He should tell his mother that he wants to respect your wishes because he knows you would do the same for him.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.

Answer 9

I'd be concerned what she's feeding a 3 month old baby in a restaurant. Your MIL needs to realize she's not the only person that could watch your kids. Set the rules and if she does not abide by them, call your friend.

Answer 10

You are right, YOUR baby doesn't need to go out to breakfast every day. Neither does your older child. Your husband needs to wake up and understand that this is YOUR child, not your mother in laws and YOU and HE are the ones to set the rules for YOUR children and not your mother in law. Once or twice a week is quite enough to go out to breakfast.

Answer 11

there is nothing wrong with taking a baby to a restaurant for breakfast every day, if she is doing you the favour of caring for your baby, you have to deal with it - if she was doing something wrong, then you should be concerned, but in this one there is no problem, in fact it could be good for the baby to go out every day.
I guess if you can't deal with it, yeah, get a different sitter, but your mil and hubby are right.