She's 12 yrs. old, only child of his, lives with her mother, and desrespects him sometimes, and acts like a baby. She sometimes can't even do things for herself, like pop some pizza bites into the oven, or worse, I've seen him cut up a hot pocket for her to eat. She is sometimes so snobby, that I can't stand it. She can even see me in town, pass right by me, and not even say hi. He is very good with my kids and goes out of his way sometimes, I don't treat her unkindly, I try to do whatever I can for her, but she's still the same. He hadn't had a steady girlfriend for about 5 years, and maybe she feels like I took him from her. But to begin with, she would go to his dad's house(he lives with his dad) and not even visit with my boyfriend. She would be sitting in the living room watching tv and make my boyfriend go to his room to watch tv. Please give me any suggestions as to what to do.
2007-02-25 08:44:49 · 6 answers · asked by cool30mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Find a new boyfriend.
2007-02-25 09:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Her dad does not get to live with her. She hurts and she is 12 years old. Did you have a father at home? How would it feel if he left home when you were a little girl... hoping that one day he would be back but instead he is possibly setting up house with someone else's children. There is not much to do about it. Look outside yourself. If she ignores you on the street, so be it. Her father cut those pizza pockets for her. That is his business. She is not the "bad guy". She is 12. She is 12. She is 12. You are the adult. Don't make it about you. Your husband goes out of his way for your kids. She does not get to live with her dad.
2007-02-25 09:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by choose happiness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats the ol' Only Child Caught in Divorce bit....kids aren't as stupid as people think. No parent, especially of only children, wants their one kid to hate them, so they decide to do anything to make this kid happy. The kid picks up on this and turns the parents against each other in a game of one-upmanship, ending with the kid spoiled beyond reason. Your BF obviosuly doesn't stand up to her antics, and they are only going to get worse (shes not even a teen yet!) This is the kind of girl in which life either kicks them in the *** or runs them over. In your position, there is not much you can do, except talk to your BF and tell him your concerns, and maybe talk to her mom (or have the BF do it) and tell her the same. This is not going to end well, but it might be better for everyone's futures concerned.
2007-02-25 08:54:38 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like this child has more control than she should have. However, she is an only child and he probably babies her due to the divorce. Just a word to the wise if you plan on marrying him don't think this situation will get better....I can almost bet it will get worse.
Good luck!
2007-02-25 08:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are in for it. You are probably right that she feels you are intruding; but that does not excuse the disrespect for you or your boyfriend. I've been through this with my husband. I still have to point things out to him sometimes and we have been married 11yrs. She was almost 5 when we started dating. I would make off the hat "observations" out loud calmly and quietly in his presence only, that basically got him thinking. Example, she sure throws a fit to get her own way doesn't she. But I really didn't get involved until we got serious in our relationship. Then I sat him down to talk to him about her behavior. I told him honestly that my own girls would see how she behaved and try it themselves and I wasn't willing to allow that kind of behavior from any child in my house. I asked him if we could together decide what kind of discipline we both felt comfortable with so we could both be consistant with all of the girls fairly. Like I said I still have to point things out to him sometimes but it is better than suffering in silence. I must say she is a smart child and has been very inventive in her attempts to cause problems over the years, but she finally figured out that we were communicating and she wasn't going to get away with the end run around things. I also caught her in several lies, that were told to try to get my girls in trouble and pointed it out to my husband. She lost his trust and he realized he needed to verify what really happended before disciplining anybody. I also caught her stealing things from my girls several times. Things that were of no interest or importance to her so it was obvious that it was done out of spite. By communicating with each other though we have managed to get through it. I must say sometimes daddy's can be easily manipulated by their little girls and it's dificult to make them see and believe it. Be sure you are willing to ride out the rocky waters before you climb into the boat. My husband and I have not had many major disaggreements or arguements in out marriage. Of the ones we have had "she" was the reason for 90% of them. She even "punished" him by crying to go home when she wouldn't get her own way or got caught in her manipulations. After that happend a few times I told him he need to stop allowing it because she was just manipulating him again. She knew it hurt him that she went home to mom early that's why she did it. I told him she was acting out for attention and he should spend some one on one time with her. Yes divorce is hard on the children. But they still need to know that an adult is in charge and have rules, limits, and expectations of good behavior.
2007-02-25 09:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by horsenuttss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW talk 2 her and ask but dont be rude or ur boyfriend will not like that
2007-02-25 09:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by bubble_gum4488 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋