* Why do most Parents *?

Question

Why do most parents with Average children have a problem with others that have a disability? until it's their own child.

I was very upset when I went to a school meeting talking about how the school was going to combine special needs child with average child. and all of the parents with average child disapproved of that program because they did not want there children around special needs children.
Don't they realize they are teaching there children to dislike disable children and to not treat them fair.
Parents with average children just don't understand what we go through, It is already hard enough trying to find the right kind of care for our disabled children so when one of these programs comes up it is very limited and I believe that they all should be combined so that OUR children can learn to love and accept others that are different.
So why do most want to ruin this kind of program for the people who need it. Are they just scared of what they don't understand themselves.

Answer 1

The only answer I have for you is IGNORANCE! I have a 13yr old special needs child {mentally and physically she is at the mind state of a 2-11 month old and she is the light of my life, her and her baby brother that is}and she was raised around my nephews and neice and they will never look differently at someone w speical needs because of it. I also have a 9 month old child and you should see the looks I got when I was pregnant with my son {my second child} and even comments from ppl such as "arent you afraid this baby will be handicapped too" or worst yet "how can you even think of having another" My daughter was able to be mainstreamed for Music and Art and at first the kids were taken back because they were never exposed to a speical needs person but by the end of the week they never though differently of her

To the lady that says school is for learning not socialization. When you have a speical needs child part of their IEP is socialization so school IS for socialization and as much as you'd like to think it isnt for the "normal" child that is how they also learn their social skills by interacting w others at school, pls I understand you have an opinion but educate yourself before you spout off ty

Answer 2

One of the reasons is fear. Fear that the disability is somehow "contagious" or that the typical child will start to mimic the behaviors and the characteristics of the disabled child. And they will, for the first few weeks. I have seen typical children start to rock back and forth and make strange sounds, only because they want to see why, maybe, the autistic kids do it, or they do it without thinking about it.

Another reason they don't want it, is because they think, again rightfully so, that the teacher will be pulled away from the typical kids to spend more time with the disabled kids. She is only one person, and she has a hard enough time just handling 25 average kids, without throwing in a few handicapped, autistic, Down's kids on top of that.

So the parents start to get upset, and from the outset, it looks like it will spawn a lot of hatred and fear in the kids. It doesn't. The kids love each other, and grow to accept each other regardless of the parents' terrible ways of looking at things. Kids are just cool like that.

And here's the other thing. If you were inside the school and saw the REAL way that things were happening, you would know that the regular ed. teacher was getting support from adminisration to help with the special needs kids, she was having the special ed. teacher help her with inclusion, and she was probably in there with her on several class periods each day. There is an aide in there most of the day, and the kids usually really like having someone else in there.

I totally agree with you -- there are very few programs like this for kids with disabilities. There needs to be a lot more. But the other side of that is this: is it always in the best interest of the child with disabilities to be in that situation? Sometimes it is not: they need to be in a smaller setting with a trained special ed. teacher so that she can be qualified to address his very special needs in a way that he can get the most out of his day and learn the very unique things he needs to go out and be a productive citizen when he gets older.

Inclusion is cute, and it looks good on paper. But there are many, many times that it is inappropriate and a waste of time. Special needs kids require so much more than an inclusive setting can give them.

Just a thought from a special ed. teacher! I have seen both sides, and I hate to see kids' time get wasted when they are already so behind...

Answer 3

Most of these parents do NOT have a problem with disabled children being in the school UNLESS they have a condition which could be harmful to other students.

My mother works in the Special Services department of the school district I grew up in - mostly with Autistic children, though they DO have a couple of children that have more.....involved....needs than an average person should have to deal with.

Should they allow a child into the school district when that child needs physical restraint to keep her from biting and hitting and scratching the nearest person? When that child is going through puberty and a TEACHER has to change her tampons/pads?

Is it rude of the parent to ask that that child not be in the school district when the kids of the class have problems accomplishing their work and the Para-Professional has to physically remove the child from the class because she's screaming and hollering and interrupting the teacher? Is it the parents of "average children" who have a problem when ONE kid needs a full-time nurse but the parents don't want to accept that their child will NEVER be able to function in the school?

Most children with special needs that I've run in to at the school district do not have these problems. But for the ones that DO have these problems, how is it fair for the "average kids" parents to have to deal with their children falling behind in class because one parent doesn't want their child to be put into a special school that deals with those kind of problems?

Answer 4

Let me start off by saying that neither of my children are old enough yet to be in school, so my reply will be based totally off of how I think I would feel in that situation, not based on having actually been in the situation.

I don't think that I would have a problem with a disabled child being main streamed if they are able to keep up with the other children. But, I'm not sure if that applies to the majority of disabled children (and please forgive me in my ignorance about disabled children as a whole).

I have a cousin who only has one arm because the other had to be amputated at birth, that's a disability, but not one that affects his ability to learn in school.

I remember a high school teacher apologizing to me privately because he knew that I was bored in class. He understood that he was repeating himself multiple times and that there were students who understood him the first time, but in his words he had to "teach to the bottom of the class."

I think that may be more of the fear of parents, that they don't want their child to be held back because the teacher has to spend extra time on those with special needs. And if that is a wrongful assumption about the teachers, then the other parents should be told that the teacher's lesson plans won't be changed to accomodate those who would normally be placed in a special education environment.

Also, the No Child Left Behind Act has put such an emphasis on passing tests that parents and teachers are afraid to have anything that may actually--or be perceived as--effecting the ability of a school to pass national exams.

Answer 5

When I was in school, the special needs kids were brought in to class for certain activities and I think it's a great idea. People who are not used to being around those with a disability get nervous. I still get nervous that I might unknowingly be offensive in some way. A lot of times people try to do too much for someone that is disabled and it can get frustrating for them. These parents are not setting a good example their children need to be exposed to people with handicaps so there won't be such a stigma about them. They need to be educated about these things so they can be sensitive about the subject. The only reason I could see classes not totally combined would be maybe children with learnig disabilities. I am sure you would like for your child to interact with more children I am sure it would be very benficial. Keep pushing for it, at least try to get electives combined....good luck.

Answer 6

I know I will get flamed for this, but there are other methods for teaching children compassion and acceptance than having special needs children in their classroom. There is no doubt that having a special needs child in a classroom takes much more attention of the teacher away from the other children who are able to learn more quickly. They can still have activities with those children, can still work with them on special projects, can have PE and recess with them. But as I volunteered in my kids' schools for 10 years, I saw teachers monopolized by a few children with special needs while those who could have moved along faster with their work and learning were left hanging.

Why can't people with special needs children understand that while their children deserve an education and assistance, other children also deserve the best education they can get? It's not that they don't want their kids around special needs kids. They just don't want their kids' education hindered or compromised by children who require so much of the teachers' attention. I've seen average students suffer because of inclusion.

Answer 7

People are afraid of what they don't know, plain and simple. They worry about their own child's safety. They worry about the fact that their child may not get as much attention from the teacher when there is a special needs child in the classroom who will obviously require more attention, even if they have a shadow or aid. They worry about how their child will react to a special needs child, will they be tolerant, will the be accepting, will they feel nervous. I worked as a special ed assistant and it's hard for people to realize how important it is for those kids to be mainstreamed, but their concerns are justified, no matter how ignorant they seem. Use this opportunity to help educate people, show them how wonderful your child is and how they will benefit from being around someone who can help them break down barriers. Good luck and take care.

Answer 8

I'm a teacher and I'm all for including special needs children into a regular classroom (as long as there is some assistance with those children who need a lot of one on one attention.) I think it's really the only way to give them a good education because they have good peer models.

I do somewhat understand the parents concerns. They are afraid that by putting special needs children in the classroom, that they will take away time from their child. It's understandable for the parents to be upset if they are not going to put any support staff in the room to help those kiddos that have a lot of needs. I'm talking about the little ones who can't use the bathroom on their own, don't have full functional use of their hands, etc.

I've had plenty of special needs kiddos in my classroom and they make so much growth that when the school district wants to put them in a special ed classroom, I often fight to keep them in my classroom. They are not just gaining socialization skills, but also academic skills that they would not have a real chance to otherwise. They wanted to put one of my kiddos Benjo into a developmentally delayed classroom. When I went in to visit the classroom, I was very upset that they wanted to put him in there. These kiddos were not speaking, they were not really learning anything but basic things like washing their hands, etc. Benjo was learning his letters in my class and colors. Yes, he wasn't as far along as most of my kiddos, but if he was put into that classroom, he would not be learning as much as he would be in my class.

Answer 9

Probably because they're afraid that the disabled children will get *all* the attention (example: if the teacher is working on braille with one child, she's not concentrated on the rest of the class)

And then there's the money issue. All the expensive equipment, they reason, would be better used in a school with dozens of disabled children, rather that buying special equipment for 12 different schools.

It really is too bad :(

Answer 10

The difficulty is in moderating the additional requirements of the special child against the reduced opportunity of the average kids. I am not objectional at all to the interaction, but I would expect the special kids to be on a similar level to the average ones. If not, they should probably be grouped in classes which better suit their needs. These kids do deserve a chance, but not necessarily at the expense of the others. ( I am not referring to $$).
Schools have already gone down a road of diminished expectations and average compliance. We no longer strive to reward excellence, but promote mediocrity. This will not be duplicated in the real world when these kids get out of school.