16 and trying for a baby?!?

Question

my little sister is 16 years old and her boyfriend is 25 the family has accepted this but now she is telling me they are trying for a baby!!!! i have 2 children myself and know how hard it is and ive tried telling her but she thinks because i cud do it thn she can. she is extremely mature for her age though please bare this in mind!! wat else can i tell her or should i let her get on with it and face her own consequences???

my sister is acturally 17 in march and this is very bludy much legal in uk. he is a lovely kind hearted man that would do anything for her she has finished school. and has finished a stay at home course and they are both now working and earning a very nice wage. this is not ILLEGAL in the slightest so get facts straight first!!!

Answer 1

i am a 15 years old and my friend went through the same thing. when she was 14 she was sleeping with a 25 year old and eventually... got pregnant. the dad is not around, her mother took her out of high school her sophomore year (this year) and has to work to support her son. i still keep in contact with her and we are still friends. the best advice i can give is to make sure she is aware of what she's getting herself into. even more important, GET HER OUT OF IT! u are her older brother and should be looking out for her. people say age aint nothin but a number, but that is not acceptable, and u should know that. i realize how hard it is for my friend, and i can't imagine anyone wanting to go through that. that one moment has changed her life forever, and it will surely do the same for your sister.

Answer 2

Tell her to wait until she's at least out of high school to even begin wishing for a child. No matter how mature she is she's not ready at 16 to have a child. She will miss out on all the things that come along with high school. If you want to show her the consequences find some videos online of people giving birth. Show her how painful it is. Explain to her how much it costs to have a baby...Just talk to her as a mom. You know all the things that come along with children.

I understand in most states as long as the family gives permission for the relationship to continue that a 16 year old can be with anyone she wants. But I believe that there's a limit to how many years older the guy can be. I know Washington...The age of consent is 16, but that limited to the other party being no more than 60 months (or 5 years) older.

Answer 3

Let her first know that you love her and have concern for her. Tell her that first of all, her boyfriend and her are not in a committed relationship (aka marriage) which means that it is not 100% that he will be there for her child, even if she does love him. Also have her take care of your two kids for a day, or give her one of those babies that are like a real one that cry as often as one does. If she is mature enough to watch an infant, ask a family friend to give her the info on what happens AFTER birth-the sleepless nights, the crying, etc. Also tell her that she can forget about having anymore date nights w/ her bf, girls night's out, or study time. Let her know that her education will be hindered, and she will be a mother while she is still a child.

It doesn't matter if she is "mature"--a mature adult (which she is not) thinks about what they are doing, and the consequences of that before they go through with something.

Also, show her how much $ it costs for diapers, formula, etc. I do not think that any 16 year old is ready for a commitment like that.

She is probably either
A. looking for attention
or B. looking for love and acceptance that she is not getting elsewhere

Talk to her. Have other trusted adults talk to her. It will help!

Answer 4

1. Put her on birth control. There is no need to let this happen just because a mature 16 year old thinks she's ready to have a baby.
2. Put the 25 year old creep behind bars for at least 2 years. As soon as she's 18 and he's learned his lesson, let them do whatever they want.
3. While he's in prison, make her take parenting classes and baby sitting jobs. Make sure she's changing at least 5 diapers per day, every day until she turns 18.
4. Make her get a job and pay for her own food, clothes and rent. Any left over money should go toward a college fund for her future kid.
5. Don't let her hang out with her friends, have fun or sleep. Get her used to the lifestyle of being a mother.

From this, the 25 year old would get a preview of marrage and kids by spending two years in prison. If he's willing to go through 2 years of jail, let him marry the 16 year old girl. After that, he can decide if he wants to have kids.
At the same time he's learning his lesson, you can teach her how to be responsible for herself and what sacrifices she'll need to make in order to be a good mother.
Maybe, just maybe we'll be able to turn them into responsible adults that are ready to raise a child. If that happens, their child might be a positive influence on the world. With a college education, he/she might be able to make a difference.
Wouldn't that be better than being a single mother at the age of 16 living with her parents, working at burger king trying to save so she can move out into a trailer with her dead beat boyfriend who does drugs and plays video games instead of working to support his family? That's if he sticks around and doesn't ditch her for a 15 year old without a kid.

The point is, she's still a child. If she wants to raise a child, take drastic measures to make sure she's ready to be an adult. Don't let this turn out to be another Jerry Springer special.

Answer 5

16 and 25? That's a bit much. Putting that fact aside, you should tell her not to grow up so fast. She must be in 9th or 10th grade? While her friends are going to prom and school dances and all that high school stuff she's gonna be sitting at home with a 30y/o man changing diapers? I have kids myself and there is no way in hell my daughter would be with a grown man before she is 17/18 let alone getting pregnant with him. She might get pregnant and then he could leave her while she's pregnant then she'll have to deal with all the stress of custody and/or child support. Having a baby sounds simple but the risks you're taking at that age getting pregnant especially with an older man are so much more complex.

Answer 6

Tell her to finish school first. If she wants to support the baby, she should first finish high school and go to college so she can get a good job. She can't just depend on her boyfriend because he might not always be there. She needs to depend on herself and right now she is not capable to support a baby. Mature or not, anything can go wrong with the pregnancy. She has so much to still experience before she settles down to have a kid. You should explain to her that having a baby changes everything and that maybe she should get a puppy or something first to realize the huge responsibilities that come along with a new baby.

Answer 7

If she is very mature for her age - let her watch your kids for a few hours no matter if they are cranking or teething. Just make sure she can get a hold of you , also let her know that you don't have someone to call when those days happen. A parent has to deal with the good, bad and ugly days.
My daughter babysat sick kids one weekend and that took the desire right out of her thinking that babies were just cute and sweet 24/7.Now she wants to wait. Also while babysitting she couldn't just go shopping or off to the movies or even out with the b/f when she wanted - babies /toddlers take time and attention .

Answer 8

I wonder how long they've been together ?? I don't know how school is in the UK, but in the US most kids are 18 or almost 18 when they finish high school, I definately think they should wait atleast until she finishes school, get married and then have a baby if their relationship is good. I got married 1 year after high school and a baby a year after that.

Answer 9

Babies are expensive. If she is only 16 and she herself might be mature but she is not grown up, does she want to be growing up at the same time her child is? She has life lessons to learn. What about the rest of hs and college. It is close to impossible to find a good paying job with out a college degree not to mention a high school one. List what everything costs for her, formula diapers daycare baby food clothes ect...maybe if she sees the bottom line she will reconsider.
What about her firiends doesn't she want to see her friends? What about friday night when every one is going out and she can't she might always feel like she missed out on something.
It is not something she can send back if she realizes in time that it wasn't the right time for her.

Answer 10

Are you kidding!!! The rest of your family needs help, fast! In most states there are laws preventing this kind of perversion. She's 16! Does she have a GED? Does she have a job? I have a sneaking suspicion that he'll jump off as soon as he finds someone younger than she is to make him feel good about himself. She's a child! She'll end up having to support herself, or your family will support her OR I the taxpayer will kick in to help her. I can't even believe that anyone would think this was ok. I'm so sorry that you are the only one with sense in your family.