I'm shy and I always try to force myself to ask him. But i always say I'll do it in my head but when I'm actually there I freeze like omg my life is over or whatever. What should I do to prevent this from happening? And is there another way if you can't?
2007-02-25 08:05:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
write him a note. Not an all out love note. But a note telling him that there's something you have been trying to say/ask him but you get scared/freeze up. then at the bottom of the note ask him out. Give him the note, right be for you leave that way he reads it only after your gone. Doing that will give him time to think, (if you give a guy time to think about it they don't fell wried about being asked out).
2007-02-25 08:15:24 · answer #1 · answered by Kathleen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is anxiety, somewhat akin to stage fright. You can practice in front of the mirror at home. Imagine him responding to you in a positive way. Fearing that your life will be over if he says "No" is called catastrophizing (which means always imagining the worst will happen). I've had girls laugh at me when I asked them out. This was painful at the time, but you can't find a partner if you aren't willing to take some risks. Sometimes a hint dropped to a mutual friend can do the trick.
2007-02-25 08:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your body is smarter than you are, telling you that you are moving too fast. Respect your subconscience a little, it does know something. Greet him, respect him, and breathe and focus on the breathing. Soon enough the words should flow if they are meant to. Also, maybe write a note and again, breathe and focus on the breathing. This relaxes the nerves because it busies the mind and gives you air. Then say something like "This is for you." but make it a note that you wouldn't mind if others see it.
Just ideas. Other than that, smile at him and see if he asks you. Maybe he is wondering if you would reject him. Most girls we ask out for the first time reject us, you know?
2007-02-25 08:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with this boy Ryan. His friend Nick was my BFF'S boyfriend. So my BFF (Chloe') asked Nick to go to the movies. Then she said hay, how about you bring Ryan and I'll bring Kayla(Me) Unfortunately, i got really sic the day before but all you have to do is find a way to hang out with him other than on a date by yourselves. Maybe you could hang at the mall with him, his friends, and your friends. Don't pressure him too much or he'll try to avoid you.
2007-02-25 08:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by u_wish_214 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just like me, I do this all the time, that's why I never get dates.
He's just a person, I know how you feel, but he's no different from other guys who you don't like. I mean, to YOU he's different, but pretend that he's just another guy and just say it. Take a deep breath, relax, walk up to him and say it (but don't blurt it out, like really fast). It takes guts.
If you can't do it, then write him a note and when you see him give it to him. It's much easier.
Sometimes I wish I could take my own advice. It's hard.
Good luck.
2007-02-25 08:13:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of asking him to go out directly, do it indirectly. Tell him you are going to eat out or to a movie and ask if he would like to come along. Then you will get a chance to talk and feel each other out some more. Don't make it so formal, just play it cool like its just you and anyone else hanging out.
2007-02-25 08:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by Runa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... well... a hug might help--- try hugging him... and that might get some prompting from him to un-freeze you. a bit.
lol you could always try practicing in front of a mirror--- it's like stage-fright.
and yes, I'm familiar with the whole freezing up part. it happens to lots of people. the trick is to play mind-games with yourself and trick yourself into getting around it. it really depends on you. and why you're freezing up.
at any rate
2007-02-25 08:10:25 · answer #7 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just remember that you never should let an opportunity pass you up.take a chance for once and be responsible for changing you own life
2007-02-25 08:09:37 · answer #8 · answered by aspen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt ask him u should just get to know him bette runtil he asks u out it makes a guy feel weird if a girl asks him out trust me
2007-02-25 08:09:36 · answer #9 · answered by mahatma gandhi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋