Ive been totally single 2 years as my two teenage sons are totally against me dating or considering a relationship and I respect their wishes and have promised them I will remain single until they leave school ...only another 2 years to go,I just wondered how many single parents are like me.
2007-02-25 07:41:18 · 14 answers · asked by candyfloss 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I probally would do it too! I have been single for almost 3 years now. I don't see that changing for some time!
2007-02-25 07:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2014-05-28 01:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing them a disservice! You are not teaching them respect, you are respecting their misguided wishes, while they are able to trample over your needs??? I don't see it as right. I think you have to talk to them about their respect for you and what you need from life. Tell them that if you can't date until they are adults, then they must let you live with them when you are 65. That sounds fair!
They need to know that you are a living human being with feelings too. They may find this uncomfortable, as we always deny our parents sexuality as a defence mechanism. But I think you are only delaying this problem, because in 2 years time they will only come up with new arguments to stop you making them feel uncomfortable. You need to get some maturity into them.
2007-02-25 10:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are totally selfless but I am not sure if that is so good. You have not dated because your two teenage sons are against it? has it not cross their minds that mum might need a bit of support, love, friendship and companionship - other than them. I think as they are older you should put yourself first and start to date guys and get a life for yourself. It doens't mean that men come to stay every night but you need someone too. Your son's will have to learn to live with it I am afraid or will they expect to have control over your love life when they are older too?
2007-02-25 07:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by Bexs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids are 15, 8 and 5. The teenager could care less. The kids want Daddy to be happy. The 8-year-old boy once asked me where my girlfriend is. I don't have one since I work too much.
2007-02-25 07:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i don't think you and people like you are insane at all, i think you just lost your confidence over first relationship,that's why you are not willing to date any one very easy just like your kids wants,however you are still young and you need to live your life and have fun, i think they should be happy for you to see you happier,if your next one work,but be carefulthis time don't get tooclose too soon cos then they will bully you and you don't really need that,plus if you don't find some one for you know might it is to late tomorrow when you are a bit older,good luck love you really need it,and all the best
2007-02-25 08:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are insane. I have friends that allow their children to rule the TV (even when 3 adults want to watch a particular thing), that allow their kids to decide what's for dinner every day, etc... I'm no neo-con, but in my house, I control the basic environment. ESPECIALLY when it comes to what directly affects me. They can wear basically what they want, have friends, hobbies, a little spending money, a phone, etc... But deciding when or if I date is way way beyond their purview.
If YOU choose to stay sinlge b/c it's just easier, that's fine, but I think your stance as stated is a mistake.
2007-02-25 07:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's good that you're respecting your childrens needs and decisions, but they also need to consider your needs...i mean it's not like you would just bring your partner to your house and let him spend the night there, while your kids are living with you. If i were you i'd talk about this with your children, so they could see your point of view
2007-02-25 08:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by n1cyndy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to try to answer this nicely because people have been way too judgemental about you so far. I respect your choices! My mother didn't when I was a child and as a result I am OVERLY cautious about who I date and often much too stuffy and worried about my behavior when dating.
I'm a product of a single mother. Three kids. My mom dated ALOT and brought strange men home at night to have sex while my siblings and I were in our room next door. She dragged my siblings and I over to random boyfriends houses regulalry to spend the night....and socialize with them and sometimes their kids
It was awful!
I was supportive of my mom being happy but it seemed like her drama in relationships and poor choices caused us to suffer much too much. I wish she had taken the advice that we tried to give her even when we were younger
we didnt care if she dated...we always had somewhere to go for the night babysitter wise and we wanted her to be happy but ...we BEGGED her to stop bringing themhome. it was embarrasing to watch her walk men into her room at bedtime....and it was disgusting to be in the same house....
You can date love! you should be allowed to. They need to get over their jealousy. They are blessed to have a mom who cares about their feelings but they have to learn QUICKLY before its too late that YOU are a person..a woman ....with needs. As soon as they come to terms with you being a woman and a mom...your relationship will change dramatically!
go out and have dinner, go to movies, go dancing..BUT..don't bring them home for a LONG LONG time. Dont bring them home for sex. Any man who asks you to allow him into your bed while your children are in the next room is ...well.. a waste of your time and has no respect for you as a parent.
it is ok for your sons to meet each date at the door, shake hands...and you should not only give them NUMBERS where they can reach you but a reasonable time when you will return
show them that you are taking care of yourself..show them that you are safe. Teach them that they can trust you to be there as mom...even when you are dating!
if you want to chat at all about this I'm here...I'm very proud of a woman who can show her children responsibility.
2007-02-25 07:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, aren't you the one who tells your teenage sons whether they are allowed to date?
Just how long do you plan on being a pushover?
Or are they right because you want an immoral relationship?
2007-02-25 07:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by Robert B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋