Is this fair??? **guy dumps girl for this..**?

Question

Okay, my name is brianna, and i'm 13 years old. I have depression and i USED to cut myself about once a week to 3 times a month. I met a guy named Brett and we had been going out for about a month, and i had only cut once while we were going out and it wuz about the 2nd week we were going out. About a month into our relationship he started acting weird. He never looked happy to see me and it always seemed like he'd rather be with other people than me. It NEVER used to be like this. It was weird because he would still call me everynight but it would seem awkward and quiet. I knew it was coming. Sure enough, the next day he called me and left me a message on my phone saying exactly this, "Hey brianna, its brett...idk if we should date anymore cuz u keep cutting ur self and its making me not wanna date u anymore...so i gues we're done, call me back if u have questions..bye" ..i was confused. I called him back and told him that i hadnt cut in like 3 weeks and he said that 5 ppl...(cont'd)

(cont'd) said that 5 ppl came up to him and said that i wuz cutting myself in class today, and i was telling him how i didnt and i dont kno why they were saying that and hes like "look, i wanna believe u, but its hard when u got ppl coming up to me and saying that ur cutting urself. Brianna i dont wanna have to worry about u everyday and worry about if ur gonna kill urself today." that made me break, "i'm not gonna kill myself!!" i said, tears welling in my eyes, and he said, "......well.....i just dont kno anymore....brianna.....i.....i just think we should be friends for right now....ok?..." .. i was about to die, it wasnt fair to me....i said, "yeah..w/e ok..." and then we said bye and hung up....i want ya'll to tell me if this was fair of him to break up with me for something i didnt do...

okay just to clear all this up, ppl i'm already in therapy and i'm taking antidepressants and all that, and i havent cut since when i mentioned up there, today thats like 2 months ago or more.

okay just to clear all this up, ppl i'm already in therapy and i'm taking antidepressants and all that, and i havent cut since when i mentioned up there, today thats like 2 months ago or more.

when he started dating me he KNEW that i cut.

ok ppl, PLZ STOP ******* TELLING ME TO STOP ******* CUTTING CUZ I DONT CUT ANYMORE, JUST PLEASE HELP ME WITH WUT I'M DEALING WITH HERE AND QUIT TELLING ME **** ABOUT THIS..

Answer 1

It doesn't matter whether other people think it's fair or not. If he wants to leave you, let him, and get help with your cutting issue...it's dangerous.

Answer 2

Someone else told him you cut yourself?
Then that someone must have said many things to him.

You should not cut yourself just for a depression cause it will remain scarfs.
Better use a ballpen and just paint yourself. Or buy a kicking fight box and everytime you feel like screaming hit the box.

But better go to some sport like Taewkando where you can jump high and you'll feel refresh. Or try Aikido that can make you use your inner energies better.

What else can I say, sometimes telling your problems to others may help, you may want to try a priest or a psychologyst.

Ok, I saw your last minute details. This will happen always unless you move to another school or place wherte people don't know about your past. Move out, stop cutting , find another boyfriend or propose him to meet again after you moved, because his friends not to tell him anything.

It is hard, because the decision depends on your parents if to move or not, tell them to help you move.And start fresh and this time don't make the same mistakes. Tell anybody who asks you just had an accident.

I'm sorry to hear you're just 13 and act like this, you're not happy?
fORTUNATELY IS NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU. Find another way to deal with unhappyness. Go to an exotic sport.

Answer 3

Self cutting or self mutilation is a sign that you are not dealing with your feelings very well. It would be good for you to go into therapy if you are not already.

Brett just does not understand, nor should he be expected to understand this problem.

I found the following on Wikepedia under the heading of Self Injury:
Treatment
Self-injury may be an indicator of depression and / or other psychological problems. Therapy and skills training can be very useful for those who self-injure. The therapy module used will vary depending on the person's diagnosis and their individual needs.

DBT, or Dialectical behavioral therapy can be very successful for those with a personality disorder, and could potentially be used for those with other mental illnesses who exhibit self-injurious behavior. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is generally used to assist those with axis 1 diagnoses, such as depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. Diagnosis and treatment of the causes is thought by many to be the best approach to self-injury; but in some cases, particularly in clients with a personality disorder, this is not very effective, which is why more clinicians are starting to take a DBT approach in order to reduce the behavior itself. A person who is injuring themselves may be advised to use coping skills, such as journaling or taking a walk, when they have the urge to harm themselves. They may also be told to avoid having the objects they use to harm themselves within easy reach. People who rely on habitual self-injury are sometimes psychiatrically hospitalised, based on their stability, and their ability and especially their willingness to get help. [27]

Answer 4

Ok, Brianna, first of all (i know I"m gonna sound all stupid cuz you've probably heard this before but..) you've got to stop cutting. It's bad. I almost resorted to that once. You have GOT to STOP. Second, if he seriously loved you, he would've supported you in your time of need, not backed away. Honey, if he loved you, he would've stuck by you.

Answer 5

he sounds like a complete idiot and if he was worth it then he would be there for you.. and he wouldnt listen to what other people were saying and if he could trust you he would believe you and not other people.. so just count urself lucky that you dont have to deal with a self-obsessed guy like that. also talk to someone you can trust about cutting urself, you dont need him making you feel worse anyway!

Answer 6

no it wasn't fair of him but you know what you deserve better you shouldn't hurt yourself though you should find something else to do try keeping a journal and try talking to the schools guidance counsler your parents need to take you into see a professional so that they will give you something to keep your depression under control.OKay you are in therapy so you can make new friends but you are to young for a b/f you have your whole life to find someone and believe me you will.Just take care of yourself and be happy you only live once and theres no need to be unhappy

Answer 7

He did you a big favor. Now you can see how your cutting affects other people. It makes you look mentally unstable and weird and most people want to keep away from that. Get help for your problems and straighten out your life.

Answer 8

hey Brianna personally i wouldn't like to be with a girl that cuts herself. I'm not saying that you're guilty just that he might think that since you've done it before you might do it again and that's not healthy.

Answer 9

for a start you should stop!!! cutting yourself and for 2 sweety your only 13 years old what with the boyfriend stuff. struth my daughters at 13 wasn't aloud ot of the house .. and boyfriend NO WAY!!

Answer 10

whether you did cut yourself or not is not the issue....he obviously cant deal with you cutting yourself period....
why not try really hard to not hurt yourself and show him how great you are doing...by the sounds of it....he likes you just doesnt like your habit.....kick the habit and you just may get him back....
but really your 13 you should concentrate on school and not worry about boyfriends...