For a while i've been wondering what to do about my boyfriend who showed another side of him one weekend,as some of you will know if you've seen my questions.i've been confused with feelings for my best boy mate also.However,even though my boyfriend is great he showed a side of him i didnt like,so i invited him over last night and ended things after a long discussion.It was awful,i was shaking and felt sick,as did he.For so long,i hadnt really cared about him as much because of how hw had been acting,but today it hit me,and i was crying inconsollably to my friends,i was so embarrassed.I didnt realise how drained i would feel.He said he will take anger management classes,and i said i will help him through it as a friend just now,then take it from there.He was texting me today,still putting i love yous at the end of the messages.I want to help him but dont want to be too close at the moment?We were together 9 months, i cared alot but recently i felt more resentment.Why so i feel so bad?
2007-02-25 06:58:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What your feeling is very natural because of how much you cared for him.I know you want to help him as a friend now but...you may need to put some space between the two of you so that you both can heal.
You know the old song..."Breaking up is hard to do".
2007-02-25 07:02:49 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel bad because you obviously are soft hearted and don't want to see him hurt. If your intuition is telling you to keep your distance, which is a great idea, do so. Don't go back just to keep from hurting him. In fact, I think you should spend some time away to think about things. Honestly, anger management classes alone wont be enough for him to change. He has issues that are causing him to feel angry and insecure which go much deeper and have lasted much longer than your mere 9 month relationship. He needs counseling to deal with his issues AND he needs anger management. If it was me in your situation, I wouldn't even consider being his friend until after I've had time to clear my own thoughts and figure out what I really want for me, and certainly not before he actually got himself into some counseling and anger management classes. Words are merely words. Actions speak louder.
2007-02-25 07:13:12 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since U didcovered his 'other side', give him plenty of time to address his situation & get some help. Really, do you want to be with someone who could blow up at any time, especially around your parents? I think not.
See if he's shown any improvement in 4-6 months & make a decision then. . . You are smart to have discovered it now . .
2007-02-25 07:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by Jim W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually guilt.It hurts to end things and part of you might feel responsible for how he behaved. Dont pay attention to guilt trips and do not feel obligated to help someone through anger management or any other issue. His behavior made him undesirable to you, now it is up to him to learn different ways of dealing so he doesnt blow future relationships. He can only learn this by himself, for himself. If you help, he will be leaning on you and not searching himself for real change.
2007-02-25 07:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by juncogirl3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've put a lot of trust and love into the relationship over the years and despite your resentment, there's still some connection. It's natural that severing it is still painful.
2007-02-25 07:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad its just maby someone else got hem mad and he couldint keep it in
2007-02-25 07:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by princess24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to much to read. keep your questions short and simple.
2007-02-25 07:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you GET OUT...NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-25 07:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by beebee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋