How do I not upset people by saying I dont want children at my wedding. If I invite all our guests children, there will be 53 children running around. We only want close members there like siblings, nieces nephews ect. Any Ideas?
2007-02-25 06:06:41 · 25 answers · asked by Kristy B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
People need to understand that a wedding is an adult affair. Babysitters are not hard to find. One daughter got married and we included NO children due to numbers and expenses. The other daughter got married and there were tons of neices and nephews. We hired 3-4 sitters, put them in a different room with tons of entertainment and things to do. All enjoyed it and parents had a good adult evening. We had alot of favorable comments. Some people will get their noses out of joint but a budget is a budget. Stick to what you want.
2007-02-25 09:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just the simple fact that this is an issue that could potentially hurt or offend someone speaks for itself. There is NO WAY to invite a couple and not their children without running the risk of offending them. How many people would say they are offended by children being at a wedding vs. people being offended that you ousted their kids? Here are the facts about weddings:
1. They are expensive for the guests too.
2. They interfere with personal plans in most cases
3. Your guests will more than likely spend approximately spend money on travel expenses, clothing, gifts (for you), time away from home, in some cases airline and hotel accommodations.
4. Most guests see a wedding as an inconvenience and are going to make YOU happy.
When you try to oust the kiddos you are slamming the generosity of your guests down their throats and forcing them to cover child care expenses too.
Be practical, allow kids. Provide a nursery during the ceremony and encourage (through your wedding party) that people use it. Add a child's meal or children's snacks to your reception. Kids at a wedding will not ruin your wedding, but you can ruin all kinds of family relations and personal friendships doing this kind of thing.
Wedding ARE family events - get over it.
2015-04-10 07:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by Carol 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hate to say it cant please everyone but note if they see kids there someone will be mad. but most will find sitters anyway if they want a night out to them self's and weddings are noted for a couples night. all in all just be honest and fair if the kids who are invited to the wedding make sure they don't get in any ones way or cause trouble because if they act up some one will say my kids would have acted better then that.. so put off judgment and know some kids are better then others and family kids act out more then guest kids do to the fact they are family and think they can get away with anything in clueding the wedding cake.. hint see it first hand,... good luck.. here is an idea have a kids area that's set up just for them and have volunteers from church or a local day care come and care for the kids.. sort of a on sight sitter.. that way all can come and have fun..and no hurt feelings
2007-02-25 06:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on where you plan on getting married you can arrange babysitting for those folks that just can't leave their kids at home but want to attend. Most people understand the no kids at the wedding thing thankfully and don't get really upset. If anyone asks you can usually say the kids there are part of the bridal party or family. No other kids will be allowed in and let them know how much the sitter will be charging so they don't assume it's free. I wouldn't put that on the invite, maybe as an enclosure though.
2007-02-25 06:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guests you invite to your wedding are very happy to be there and look to a very enjoyable evening. Husbands and wives who have kids and bring them to the wedding will spend most of their time attending to their kids. These couples need an evening to celebrate and not be fettered and exhausted tending to their children. When I got married many years ago, my fiance and I realized this and somehow made it clear that we did not want kids at our wedding. We made one exception as one related couple had two daughters who were quite young but absolute angels. The people you fear to be upset may actually be relieved. This is your night and having 53 children running amok would make you crazy and very unhappy.
2007-02-25 06:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had two children and one infant at my wedding...my two nieces (one who was in the wedding) and the 9 month old daughter of one of the couples in my wedding. It left out A LOT of children and no one was offended. I did not note it on the wedding invitation either. I simply addressed the invites Mr. & Mrs. Joseph Smith. To me, since it didn't say and family, it was pretty obvious children weren't included.
I have been invited to weddings that have said, "No Children Please" on the invite which I did not find offensive. People should understand that it's your special day. Not to mention, you have to pay for the children, too, and they generally don't eat as much as what it costs for you to have them there. If they're offended, they are only concerned with themselves.
The only issue I would have is with a newborn. I'm due with my second child on June 28th and my husband's cousin is getting married on July 14th. I plan on leaving my daughter with my parents, but I would expect them to allow me to bring the newborn. If they prefer I don't, then I will leave her with my parents, too, and I WILL NOT be offended as it's not my day so it's not my choice to make.
2007-02-25 09:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by Amy Lynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand.. Honey its your big day if anyone has a problem they don't deserve to send your special day with you, even if they just go to the mass and leave them out of the reception, you don't invite children out on a sat night on the tiles why should this be any different , for good sake 53 kids i wouldn't anyway its better for the parents as they can relax and not worry about someone dancing on their little darling, its your choice and anyone close to you SHOULD understand!!! Have a wonderful day :)
2007-02-25 06:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm having the same dilemma. I was told that you can put "no children please" on the invites, but I don't want to do that. So, I will only put the names of the adults on the invites. People should understand that their kids are not invited. I hope I won't sound like a hypocrite as I will have to invite my nieces, nephews and children of the close relatives. Good luck & congrats.
2007-02-25 06:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just write this in the invitation: Due to space, we must request that children not be brought to the reception....What my fiance are going to do is make sure that the children (his neices and one of my cousins) that we want there have a "job" to do to ensure that others won't get mad...we will have a flower girl and ring bearer obviously, and then we will have his neices take the gifts from people and put them on the appropriate table. You could also have a guest book attendant and so forth.
2007-02-25 06:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by goaliegirl87 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
On my invites I put " Adult only Reception" at the bottom. This is a nice, subtle way of putting it. Also, you can fill in the number of invited on the RSVP for them. This is another subtle way of saying, only you and a date are invited. For those that take it as a personal offense, it is their problem. The wedding is YOUR special day. The fact that you sent an invite is enough of a good will gesture. They can decline is they so choose. Remember, you are the one's paying for the party. Refuse to compromise what you both want for people that will have nothing to do with your happiness that day.
2007-02-25 10:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by a_911girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋