i'm 45 he's 48 both new to this,do i just go ahead and ask him after we see each other for the first time, "do you want to back out?"
2007-02-25 05:59:28 · 10 answers · asked by gone fishing! 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Best thing is to take this as an opportunity to have fun, period. Let the rest just happen naturally, if anything does happen.
I dated online trying to find another boyfriend after we broke up. You see, he was 62 and I was 50 when we started dating. We dated for 6 months before I realized it was not working for either of us. So we mutually decided to end it. He was a widower and I had taken a sabbatical from dating for 13 years while I raised my boys on my own.
I was nervous that first time. But after we broke up and I decided I still wanted a boyfriend, I made it my mission to find someone. So I had about 25 coffee dates before I decided who was going to be my new boyfriend. What I learned was to just stay in the moment and enjoy. You know, not worry about being rejected or what is going to happen next. Just some rules:
1. Trust your instincts, your intuition.
2. If you don't know him well, meet him somewhere neutral so you and he will have your own transporation and can leave when you want to.
3. Make it for coffee at a coffee shop. Lots of people do this so that it can be for a short period of time.
4. Don't expect too much. It's just for coffee. If he never calls or emails you again, don't take it personally. He was a jerk anyway.
5. Watch out for guys that can't meet you just anytime, there are alot of "players" out there, married men or men in committed relationships that are shopping around for a little on the side.
Good Luck!
2007-02-25 06:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by Pixie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, no, no! That would show a TOTAL lack of confidence, which is a complete turn-off. I too was divorced at 38 & dating scared to death, I have made ALL the mistakes - including this one!
Helpful Hints (gleaned from personal experience):
1. BE YOURSELF 2. Talk about your hobbies, interests, etc - pause, ask about his - LISTEN & observe his body language (you can learn a lot about him this way, but give him some slack - remember, he is most likely as nervous as you). 3. If exes come up (everyone says this is a no-no subject, but face it: we are adults & we have a history - it WILL come up) keep your stories short, focused, and NOT bitter. A few sentences can get the gist across, they don't need chapters & drama. 4. Try to relax and enjoy - yes, very hard, but it does get easier. 5. If you feel too overwhelmed/panicey at any point: excuse yourself to the bathroom, take a few deep breaths, look in the mirror *SMILE* and remind yourself you are a good person - then get back out there!
Even if you have nothing in common & no sparks fly, think of this as practice - use what you learn next time.
Trust me on this. Good luck!
2007-02-25 14:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by mustanglynnie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beth
I feel for your angst!
It's never easy getting back into the dating scene, but there is something in each of us that urges us to relate on a very personal level.
PLEASE DON'T ask him if he wants to back out !
Put yourself together wardrobe-wise, take a good look in the mirror, smile at yourself and remember to smile at him, too.
I've found that honesty is the best policy so it's okay to say that you're really nervous; he probably is too.
Since you've already gotten to this stage of going on a date, you must have found out something about this guy by now. Find a couple of things about him and use these for conversation to break the ice.
Laughter is really good to calm nerves, too.
Just be yourself, no phoney talk, no games.
Since most guys don't have the slightest clue to relationships, you can make him more comfortable too by telling him what your likes & dislikes are.
One thing I'd like you to REMEMBER though;
_WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US_.
Let him know who you are, what your limits are, what you expect in relationships.
If this is too much for him to handle, you'll find out quick enough. At least you'll know that you're putting yourself out as a "genuine" person, likeable and loveable.
Hope you have a terrific time and a repeat performance if things go well.
This dating scene gets easier with practice
2007-02-25 14:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is a terrible attitude. If that is your mindset, then you will have a terrible time. You act like a 16 year old. Go out and be determined to have a good time. If it doesn't work out then so what?
2007-02-25 14:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by Tumbling Dice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey!
You have to go into it with a positive attitude. Expect that he will like you and that you will like him. Expect to have a good time. Expect a few awkward moments, but don't let them destroy the evening. This is a great thing and you need to let yourself believe it!!
Go out and buy a great outfit if you can afford to, and go into the date knowing that you look great, feel great, and are great!!
Even if it doesn't work out with this one, its wonderful that you are dating but you gotta have some FUN with it!
Good luck! :)
2007-02-25 14:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by Kaitelia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go on the date and see how it goes. If you hit it off then there you go if not well there are plenty more men out there. Don't give up and good luck.
2007-02-25 14:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Stumped 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's just a date it's not marriage.just think about it like your meeting a old Friend that you have not seen in a long time.
2007-02-25 14:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it easier on yourself by arranging a group of your friends to come alone with you as well.
2007-02-25 14:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by dot&carryone. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure go ahead and go with him!
2007-02-25 14:02:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just relax....be yourself and have a good time......if you click then terrific...if you don't, then it was a nite out...good luck
2007-02-25 14:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋