Beloved pet's death?

Question

We were forced to let go of our beloved Bailey due to cancer this past Friday. My heart is broken. I wasn't prepared for this pain and emptiness. Everywhere I look reminds me of her. I can't cope with the reality that I will never see that sweet face again. I have waves of guilt, grief and cry all the time. I work at home and we have been together 24/7 since she was 5 weeks old. She would have been 9 in July. I try to convince myself that she is in a better place and the memories of her will comfort me, but it is little consolation. I don't want memories, I want her.

Many thanks for your reply.

Answer 1

I'm sorry, I know what you're going through. I had to do the same thing with my precious Goliath on 10/18/2006 due to sudden onset of cancer. It just kills me too, but he was in such pain and was having such trouble breathing, because I love him so I had to let him go. He was in pain and had been such a joy and my little hero, he actually saved my life. I had an allergic reaction to a medicine and had stopped breathing in my sleep and wasn't waking up because of the medicine. He licked my eyelids and kept at me until I woke up. The Dr said if something hadn't woke me up I would have suffocated to death. Goliath saved my life. I know everywhere I look I see him, I see a similar marked cat I see him. I have pictures of him, I have his collar and the story from the newspaper they wrote about him. So, I'm putting together a collage in his memory. He's still with me in my memory and in my heart, animals are ministering spirits, your Baily's spirit will stay with you. I know how bad it hurts, I'd like to say it gets better, but really we just keep going and keep them in our heart. I'd rather have Goliath here just like you'd rather have Baily here, but we love them so and couldn't let them continue in pain. maybe you can create a collage and write a story about Baily. I pray for your peace.

Answer 2

I was in the same situation over a year ago. My dog had been sick for a couple days and all of a sudden, she couldn't walk and wouldn't drink any water. We tried to rush her to the emergency vets office, but she passed on the drive there. I was heart broken. She was my best friend and I didn't expect that at all. What sucked was that I had to go to band camp the next day and face the world with the worst facade ever. I found that it helped to get away. I went to stay with my dad for a week after it happened. That way, I got away from my grieving mother and had time to cope with the whole situation. I'm still not over her. I started crying when I started typing this answer. The only thing you can really do is remember. Remember the good times you had and the wonderful life you gave her. Remind yourself that she died happy and loved so much by you. She had a great life. And don't rush into getting another pet too soon. That's what I did. I felt like I needed to fill the empty gap in my life, but it only upset our other dog more. We ended up getting a dog from the pound that was the same breed as the other and we thought it was a sign when it had the same name. When we brought her home, our other dog was so excited to see his partner. When he found out it was not her, he went into a downslide. They have never had the best relationship because of this. And I found myself calling the name and thinking our old dog was going to run through the door. I had to name the new dog something new. But we just celebrated the old dog's birthday on Valentines Day. We put a birthday hat on her box of ashes and made a cupcake for her. And I keep her pillow at the end of my bed still. It takes time, but eventually the pain will go away. Not completely, but enough. I will make sure to keep you and your situation in my prayers.

Answer 3

The pain is bad and it will not hurt as much the longer you go. But it is not easy to ever lose love ones even a pet. Don't Let go of the memories, but think that the cancer would have been painful and that she is in a better place. Tell your self that it is okay to love and hurt when you lose love. But tell your self again that you will see her some day. Put some of her stuff away and out of sight for now. Make a memory box and add things to it, then leave it be for now,some day you will be able to open the memory box but the hurt will still be there, but not as bad. But a memory box is a nice way to have her in your heart always when you visit the box.Believe me, the hurt will never go away. And l know that for sure. But it will ease up as time goes by.Let me know how you are doing. you can email me any time.

Answer 4

I had to put down my Dalmatian, who was 13 years, 9 months, last August. I slept with his favorite toy for several nights. The day I put him down, I don't think I cried so hard - muscles across my body ached.

What helped me a lot is petloss.com. They have a forum on that page, which is heavily moderated (so no snide comments). The forum is filled with people who lost a pet. This helped me not feel so alone and that even though I didn't know these people, there are many who understood my pain. I posted pictures on the forum of my Dal and it helped.

While I was emotionally devastated, I was mentally prepared for his passing as the signs were there. It was his time. My mental preparation allowed me to get new pups right away. Having them around also has helped. They didn't and will never replace the pet I lost, but they help me feel that love again.

I still think of my Dal almost daily. I had him cremated and his ashes came in a beautiful box. I have them in a place of honor in the house. On top of the box, I put his collar, his favorite toy, a tiny jar (with an even tinier Dal figure on top) with some of his fur, and a holiday scarf. This is my little memorial to him. The new pups are never allowed to play with that toy. Having his ashes there gave me great comfort - it was as if he was home "where he belonged". I also feel I can "talk" to him too.

The pain will never really end. Does it end when a person we love passes? But it will subside. Please utilize the forum on petloss.com and allow yourself to grieve. Don't let anyone tell you "it's just a dog". We both know it's so much more. And then create your own memorials for your pet. When the time is right for you to get another dog, you'll know. For me, it was right away - but I'm VERY rare. I would recommend you wait until you know you can get another pet and love that pet for the DIFFERENCES that pet offers, not the similarities.

Take care!

Answer 5

You're doing the right thing to talk about it. Did you make a nice memorial for her?

An excellent hint I got about dealing with grief was to set aside a certain period of time each day, and simply immerse yourself in it. Look at pictures, cry, think, talk, and write about it. But tell yourself that's your special time with that loved one, and the rest of the day will be for "less important things".

Humans have a need to grieve. If you repress it, it'll keep leaking out for years, in unexpected (and often unwanted) ways. Grieve like you do everything else important; go all the way.

Answer 6

I got my puppy Cheyenne back in Jan of this year and already had to put her to sleep because she had gotton parvo from the place that I got her from. I only had her for nine days. Even though I did not have the time with my puppy that you have had with Bailey I can understand to certain extent where your coming from. Before Cheyenne started showing signs of parvo she waited every morning at the foot of the steps for me so she could be loved on and be fed. She would wait for me to sit down on the couch with my cup of coffee and want to be picked up so she could be up there beside me. I miss her so bad I can even still feel her in the house. I understand what your saying that you don't want the memories that you want her, but just know that as long as you got the memories they are never really gone.You may not can feel them physically but you can feel them in your heart. Always want the memories because if you don't keep them then they are really gone.

Answer 7

I am so sorry about the loss, it's really hard to lose a pet, especially one that you've had for a long time. This poem really helped me after I had to put my cat down for leukemia. I used it as the centerpiece for a collage of photos I did and working on it really helped me.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Answer 8

Ohh, i know the pian!My baby died in september,But i know he is with me,in my heart,in my dreams!check out these sites....
http://www.pedigree.com/dogsandpuppies/adult+dogs/.../Grief+Support/Grieving.asp

http://www.dogfocused.com/you-and-your-dog/coping-with-death.php

http://www.ygrr.org/doginfo/death-coping.html

http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/dealing_with_a_pet_death.shtml


Here,this makes me cry,but gives me hope!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...


http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm


I know drakeys up there waiting for me!And i cant wait till the day we rejoin!And though,it may not seem true, but the pian does weaken!

http://www.petco.com/Content/HomePage.aspx?PC=home&Nav=1&cm_ven=YahooP&cm_cat=Petco_Online&cm_pla=petco&cm_ite=standard%7C-%7C100000000000000038419

you can go to petco,and get a picture of you and him on a blanket!But it might be too soon for that,the seeing him should give you happy memmories,not sad thoughts!And he is in a better place,in rainbow bridge!He is spioled rotten!!!I hope this helps,my heart is with you over these rough times!Dont give up!Feal free to e-mail me ;)!!
~lover of an aussie border collie mix!

Answer 9

I have had a dog before that had red mange and died.The best way is just to think that some day you will be with beloved Bailey.Don't get another dog until you think your ready.Don't worry.And try not to cry.Just think of all of the good times you had.Also you can pray every night.

Answer 10

Hold her blanket or toy and just cry. I promise you it works. My 12 year old Dalmation died a month ago and I am still not over it. There are also council groups where you can relate to her. Buy a blanket that reminded you of the way she felt. It'll help.