what do I tell my sister who is having sex at 17 with older men?

Question

I just found out from my other sister that are baby sister (17) meet a guy online who is 25 years old. She never meet him but had been talking online for a year. She invites him to her house where she lives with my dad and has sex with him. She use's nothing to poctect herself. She has P.C.O.S. and was told a year ago she more likely not be able to have kids. We told her she could still get aids, crabs, ect. This guy is closer to my age then hers. Now my brother tells me she has been smokeing pot cause he found some in her car. She is getting worse and I don't know what to do about her. My father knows none of this because I promise my sister and brother not to tell him because it will come back on them and I guess they promise her they would even tell me.

She doesn't know that I know. On top of that she is being treated for mental illness.

Answer 1

You're in a difficult spot. The dilema appears to be, do you betray your sisters trust by talking with your father or let her continue to hurt and abuse herself which will take her down lower and lower as life continues.
Personnally, I would do three things. One, I would have a heart to heart talk with her about where she is headed. Drugs have destroyed so many promising futures I cannot even begin to express to you just how badly people have screwed up their lives - some to the point of no return.
I pray that this will not be the case with your sister. Sex with youth, premisquity, drugs, violence, crime go together with low self esteme, self worth, lack of direction/guidance, low self confidence and many more things that are less than desireable thoughts and feelings. Your sister is searching for acceptance and is finding it as she give this man what he wants raising her own self worth within her own mind. She's wanted and accepted.... for now. Ask her what she's feeling. During this conversation, let her know that you love her and want to help - that you're there for her - because someone isn't. Let her know that she has a choice to tell her parent/s or have you tell them. If she chooses telling them herself, support her in doing this. Sit in on the conversation and do what you can to cushion the blow. Avoid yelling matches.
Second.... make time for her on a regular basis no matter what choice she makes about this relationship or others. Initiate contact and activities with her. Support her and listen to her.
Third - if necessary tell your parents what's going on if she won't. You owe it to her to let her know you care. Even if it means upsetting her on the short term. If you care, you'll error on the protective side. If you parents are not reasonable - go to someone else who can help.
If there is noone, get a referral from a doctor to see a counsellor or just go through your community services (or yellow pages) to find one.
Whatever you do, don't walk away from her even if the behavior continues. She needs you.
Good luck.

Answer 2

well talk to her but try to find out why she is acting the way she is acting as well the sex with the older guy isnt that bad at least its not like she is having sex with a guy that is 35 or older i mean then that would be more of a problem the age difference between them isnt that big a deal i mean how many people actually date or marry someone their own age after high school. Also just because your bro says he found pot in her car doesnt mean that it was hers for all you two know it could be her friends fell out of bag when giving her a ride home it happens just try talking to her without being accusational and see where you get or you may have to grow some balz and tell your father about the things going on just dont mention that anyone else knew anything and they will be happy so good luck and just because she is your little sister remember she is growin up

Answer 3

ohhhh boy....get her some pamphlets on STDs and let her look at them, preferebly with pictures and statistics included...hi-lite all the good parts. I mean like, genital warts or HERPES, something you can NEVER get rid of, there should be some sexy(haha) pictures of that....as far as pot there's nothing you can do about that, she is her own person, and unfortunately, theres no one but her that can make her stop.
The STD thing though is huge...just be sly in your way of approach, tell your other sister to do the pamphlet thing to your baby sister

Answer 4

Your sister is old enough to know what she's doing. All you can do is tell her how you feel and tell her the risks of her actions.
You could also confront the man that's visiting her and tell him he's not alowed on the property any more.
You can't dictate your sister's actions, she's old enough to know right from wrong

Answer 5

Well this is a no brainer. It makes no differrence who promissed her what, she is on a self destructive course , if you do nothing you are also responsible if something further hapens to her. So stop being a coward, suck it up and tell Dad....any questions???

Answer 6

you need to pay her a visit and privately have a talk with her,get as much info on this guy as possible then I would turn this guy in..he is breaking the law! this girl is 17? call the police and tell them his name adress and username,etc..
Talk to her and try your best to explain that a grown man who wants to be with a teenager is sick/pedophile.

Answer 7

i think its time for the big sister chat and you do need to step in my sister was drinking heavy and we never said anything i left it till it was to late she died age 30 from alchol so act now x

Answer 8

Rat her out. Her safety is more important than her being mad at you.