My friend raped my girlfriend while I was gone, how am I supposed to handle this?

Question

Me, my friend, and my girlfriend, all work for the same electronic retailer together. We have always hung out together, and I could always tell he liked her. She posted her story on here:

"He is 23 and I am about to turn 19 so I don't really drink unless someone older gives me drinks. Plus the taste of alcohol is gross. Well the other day this guy bought me some good tasting alcohol and I drank a whole ton. Now I have never been drunk before and had no clue what I was doing. Some how we ended up in a bed with him on top of me asking if he can penetrate me. Of course being drunk and just trying to please I said sure. I didn't really realize what was going on. In the middle of him doing stuff I remember saying to him 'No, I don't want a baby.' He just kept going saying I wouldn't. He finished in me though and the next thing I remember is crying in a bath tub he put me in."

Should I tell management at work, she wont tell anyone so I feel I am obligated. How do I handle this?

Answer 1

First of all, make sure all the facts are straight and then you need to go to the authorities. Your manager can terminate his employment, but what does that mean to her? Your local authorities will press sexual misconduct charges and that will make the statement to her that his lude act is unacceptable. However, I am somewhat concerned about her admission that she told him to go ahead. Please make sure you know all the details about the situation before you proceed with this.

Answer 2

OMGosh this ios a shift decision. If you tell they might set it aside because she was intoxicated, but your friend might lie and say that he didn't and there no exact way to prove it. What I recommend is approaching her and asking her about it. If he did do it like he said then go confront him about it and see. (Just don't fight). Then tell managments and if they don't belive you see if they'res anything you can do with the police. This is a serious crime in some states and you're friends is mean and a jerk and I reccommend dumping him as a friend pronto. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

beat the chit out of him.
Being drunk is no excuse. The police would not do anything cause she agreed with the action.
A true friend would never do something like that with you out of the picture for awhile. She needs to see a Rape Council or talk with her Dr. since she won't take with anyone else.

Answer 4

wow this is a problem. A rape charge in this situation would be difficult to make stick.

You cant do anything except beat the crap outta this guy.. just be prepared to go to jail. She needs to come forward. but i gotta say that with what she wrote here .. it wasnt rape. She even typed out that the guy asked her if it was ok. and she said yes. If shes over 18 saying to the judge . "yes i know your honor that i made the decision to drink. Yes i did tell him to go ahead and stick it in me, but i said i didnt want to get pregnant. (note this is not saying no to the sex. Its saying no to having a baby) " this isnt gonna fly in court ..sorry

Answer 5

Doesn't sound like it has anything to do with work. If you feel you have been raped you need to get the police involved, but to your own admission it was consensual. So I don't know what they would beyond ticketing him for contributing. I am not discounting your feelings and I'm sorry this happened to you.

Answer 6

That is a pretty serious question to post on YA go to a councellor and talk and yes he should be reported you are not 21 and too young to drink however I can't guarentee anything will happen because you did drink with him he did not force you. What he did was take advantage of you and that is wrong. to the boyfriend I would have a talk with the man you call your friend because he does not sound like the kind of friend you should continue to hang around with.

Answer 7

This will sound very cruel and crass.

Are you sure she is not simply making this whole story up, simply for atttention.

A recent survey conducted by Columbia University found that more than 87% of women whom had claimed being raped at some point in their life had made the entire thing up just for attention.

Its speculated that only 30% of the rapes that occur in this country are actually reported. However, there is a general trait that seems to exist in most of these cases. While the victim is apprehensive, they want to see thier attacker brought to justice. Especially if it is someone close to them or someone they know.

I would take your GF to a therapist, and try to get to the bottom of all of this.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have two problems, the first is with your best friend. It doesn't sound like he actually raped her, after all she did consent to it, and she didn't tell him to stop because she didn't want it, she said it because she didn't want to get pregnant. If I were you I would beat his ***, for sleeping with your girlfriend. Secondly is your girlfriend, she cheated on you, she said he could penetrate her, you need to dump her and find someone who respects you enough not to be put in that situation in the first place, and cause you this much confusion.

Answer 9

confront ur gf, comfort her the best u can, and go with her and make a police report. don't let the bastard get away! she's in a helpless state and needs ur protection and understanding. after the police case, beat him up. do ur gf some justice.


good luck with it! i would like to know how it turned out. i'm esp. concerned for ur gf.

Answer 10

44 Caliber Magnum

Answer 11

If your g/f did consent, then changed her mind and told him to stop...and he did not....that IS rape. Not to mention, he probably used the alcohol to HIS advantage....However, your g/f needs to be more aware of her surroundings and actions in the future...it could have ended up worse....
Go file a police report, and talk to management.