Should I do it?

Question

I'm in a huge dilemma right now. I'm a 20 year old male virgin, who stayed abstinent for moral reasons and never been in a real relationship because of other commitments (studies and work).

I'm feeling really lonely and I reckon I'm a good catch; I'm well educated, fairly handsome (I use to be a model, no kidding), I'm understanding and considerate (I wouldn't ever laugh or frown at anyone's misfortunes), and I would never take a girl for granted because I know how great they are as human beings.

My problem is that I read an article in a paper that stated 70% of women would NOT date a guy who's not had sex in 12 months. I've never had any. This means I've got very little chance of being dated.

I feel really undesirable and my self-esteem is in pieces. I've been losing sleep this week over this and I'm considering hiring a working woman to teach me bedroom skills. Yes, I'm actually considering a prostitute. Before I do this though, I want some opinions. Should I?

I know many of you either can't give a rat's rectum, or probably think I'm pathetic.

But really, no one can understand how I feel.

Answer 1

DO NOT HIRE A PROSTITUTE.

Do you really want your first time to be so sleazy? If you stayed abstinant until now for moral reasons this would make a mockery of your doing so.

And whatever article it was you read, please ignore it, most of us are not like that I promise you. And the ones that are are not right for you anyway. Most girls would actually find it sweet that you've remained a virgin, and it shows your maturity and will-power - something any woman worth it would admire.

Honestly if you want to seek a professional, I would suggest someone to talk over your esteem issues rather than someone to have sex with. They'll be able to help with your fears and regain your confidence.

If I had a choice between a virgin and a man who lost his virginity to a prostitute I would choose the virgin every single time - and so would most. Your first time shouldn't be sordid, but rather special and sweet. The right girl with give you that.

Women look at what a guy is like, not who he's done if you will pardon my frankness. You sound like a good guy and could get anyone once you've sorted out your own feelings about yourself.

I wish you the best of luck, and she's out there, I promise :)

Answer 2

True... I don't know how you feel - but I can imagine how you're feeling. Don't let it get you down and don't down yourself for not having sex yet. Just think about it in a positive way - your chances of getting AIDS, STDs, herpes, emotional stress over ladies is zero. That ain't a bad percentage in this day and age.

Now, what happened to make you so uneasy about your sexless life?? Just reading a newspaper article shouldn't have been that taxing on you. They have articles in the paper & magazines all the time. So my question to you is "Do you have any type of relationship with women at all?" If not, get some going on! You can date, you can be a friend, you can be a date to some of your lady friends that don't have boyfriends, etc... And you just never know who you'll meet on your outings. Usually, when you're out with someone of the oppositie sex - is when you'll find someone that's interested in you. Then you can easily explain that they are just a friend and get their phone number and take things from that point. Try it. And so what if you haven't had sex yet - when ever you do it will be exciting and I hope and pray that the person will be understanding and help guide you.

Good Luck! It will be allright!
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Answer 3

Honestly there are some girls out there that would love to be with a person like you. I know alot of girls that wait to have sex, and this could be something you share together, when you are both ready. I'm sure your a great catch with high moral beleifs, don't let that bring you down, just because it is not the norm. Stick to what you beleive in and when the time is right, you will meet that special girl, and you would have been glad you waited. So stick in there, and all will be well.

Answer 4

That article is a lie. Some women prefer men that dont have sex or havent had sex yet. They prefer virgins. Plus Youre clean, they can teach you , they like virgins much more than an experienced man. .

You have little chance of being dated? If youre good looking/decent and a virgin there are girls out there, hot ones that will go out with you or be more than glad to teach you.

Dont get a prostitute. You deserve better. Find a girl who likes virgins who will love you.

I love virgins. A good lookin virgin guy is the perfect catch. Thats my ideal man.

You probably dont need to be taught Just go with the flow. Youre probably naturally good and you dont even know it. If you were with me id make you feel comfortable

Answer 5

Ok-do not hire a prostitute. Paying a woman for sex is not going to boost your self-esteem or make you feel more desirable. You're paying her to do you. Not very sexy. They will not teach you any bedroom skills. At least none you will want to use your first time with a real girl. You will look back and regret it. Being a virgin is fine, especially at your age. The right girl will not care. I would bet most girls (if not all) would have sex with a virgin before they would have sex with a guy who had slept with a prostitute.

Answer 6

you are letting an article in the paper of statistics that you dont even know where they originated from, control your life and destroy your self-esteem. Most women and or people, would be thrilled to be with someone who is pure. With diseases and aids and pregancies running rampid, you are someone who would in fact be more desired than most. I would let a relationship form naturally. Dont go to a prostitute. You are setting your self up for all kinds of trouble with that. Go out and meet someone the right way. If you are that good looking I am sure it wont be a problem.

Answer 7

It is great that you are facing this issue and not just keeping it to yourself. But, my personal opinion is to do the ideal thing and not hire a prostitute.

Being more virginal and innocent is normally more attractive to women. Cleanliness, purity, self-control and other godly virtues are attractive to women.

Ideally, you should go for a girl that is very good intelligent. Go to her family and let them know that you are going to take good care of her. Spend time at the library reading up on these things. Go to counselors. Spiritual counselors are best, but go to some kind of counselors is better than none. It does not have to be professional counselor. Learn why marriage is sacred and that there should be no sex outside of marriage.

If you cannot do that and have to try out loose women, then consider this. Most of these loose women do not know how to have safe, clean, healthy sex. They do not know how to keep from transmitting disease. Did you know that the incubation period for HIV can be as much as two years? So even if a loose woman has checked herself for AIDs in the past few months she may still have the disease! And you can catch HIV through the mouth. A prostitute might have bleeding gums!

Normally prostitution is illegal. She may involve you in homosexual swinger relations since she may have other men she has sex with. Or some other boyfriend she has could pick a fight with you. She may blackmail you for money.

Of course, some of these loose women are very sharp. They can really fool you. They can really intrigue you. But, this could very well be a trap. If you have to go after a woman like this then proceed with the most extreme caution. If she lies to you and goes away, then let her go! You don't want to go after her and possibly getting emotionally involved.

Many of these loose women are addicted to drugs. You don't want drug addiction! It may very well be that the only hope for getting these women off of drugs is to get some kind of institutinalization for as many years as it takes to be absolutely certain they will never go back to drugs again.

And do these loose women know what real love is? They can go through the motions of sex, but they probably do not know what real love is. You may try to give them your love, but what kind of gratitude can they show? After going through the motions of sex the glamor or the love is gone and then we are feeling like no better than some kind of animal or dog.

Answer 8

Dude, don't let statistics get in the way of you taking action. Any worthy woman out there won't bat an eye at learning that your a virgin, and if they do, there incredibly shallow. Just put yourself out there and forget about numbers and your virginity. You will be fine.

Answer 9

Hunny girls do not care if your a virgin or not. It is actually better in alot of ways for one we can teach you what we like so your molded just perfect for our liking. For two your not judging us with the last ten woman you slept with and three it says you care about yourself.. I would be proud if i were you.. Never be ashamed of who you are! Keep your head up and don't believe everything you read people are paid to write those sorts of things so they write anything for a pay check!

Answer 10

lol not pathetic at all.

My experience is that their are MANY MANY women out there that want to break a virgin. Seriously!

As far as hiring a prostitute dont do it. would be a damn shame if your first time you ended up with the clap or worse.

last thought ..your not that old. There are tons of Virgin females out there that are Late teens early 20's. Find one fall in love.. break both of your viginities and have at it!