We live in Ga. She is taking him to California for a week at the begining of April to a family reunion and nobody asked me to go. I am upset. Does this sound weird or am I just crazy?
2007-02-25 04:36:56 · 19 answers · asked by coan2007 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
E.J.S. is right. If this isn't nipped in the bud, it will only get worse. It's up to your fiance to insist that you go to the family reunion. After all, you soon WILL be family. If he's too big of a wuss to stand up for you, you should examine what life will be like in a few years.
Men (and women) have to learn to put their fiance's and wives first. That's the whole idea of leaving home. If they can't do that, they really have no business being married.
2007-02-25 04:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Yes, because it is the polite thing to do but No, because it is a family reunion and you are not yet married to the family.
Personally, I'd ask your soon to be hubby about it. If anything, I would have thought he would have asked you to come along (regardless of whether or not his Mother wanted you there). The fact that he didn't even ask you to come along is weird. I would have thought he would have been proud to show off his bride to be to his family. I suggest you deal with this and find out if your fiancee is a Mama's boy and refuses to rock the boat (not that good a catch then).
2007-02-25 12:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it this way but if she's a pain in the neck now, it probably won't change. The best thing to do is ignore her because if she and your fiancee are close, it will only cause problems between you and him if you make a big deal about it. As far as the family reunion, is it a money problem? If you really want to go, offer to pay for your own trip, then they can't refuse.
2007-02-25 12:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by E.J.S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset, I know I would be. Since you are the future daughter in-law they should be welcoming you into the family, not pushing you aside. However, this is something that seems to be quite common with mother in-laws. It's basically a battle between the two most important women in his life. Get your gloves on, girl...cause it's likely to get worse as your relationship with your fiancee grows.
2007-02-25 12:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by tjfield1979 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have the right to be upset with this. If you are going to be his wife, then he should have taken you along with him. Because you are going to be a part of his family too. It seems like your mother-in-law did this on purpose just to get you upset or she doesn't like you.
I am shocked to even know that your fiance has aloud this to happen. What else is he going to allow to happen once you two get married? Is he going to let his mom run your marriage too? Will he be a 'real man' to back up his wife? You may want to consider in talking to your fiance about this to see if he really will let go of his mom to start a new life with you. Otherwise, if his umbilical cord has not been cut, you will have major problems in your marriage.
Remember, you will marry into his family and you will have his mother in your life. If he doesn't take you with him, then he is still doing what his mom tells him to do. Something to really think about.
I would consider on getting these books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage", and "Ten Stupid Things Why Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives".
So, sit down and talk to him. But be polite about it. Tell him that you would like to go with him to meet his family. I just can't believe that he didn't even ask you to go with him, even when you are soon to be his wife.
2007-02-25 12:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you have to remember that if you love this guy and want to be with him that you have to keep in mind your not just marriing him but his whole family even the mother in law. ... but somewhere deep within you no matter if you get along or not have you too accept her and deal with it she's not going away . remember it's her little boy that is leaving. and have you thought about maybe he's not so into your mom as you think but maybe he puts his feelings aside for you. you need to do the same.
cause if you can't stand her now then you'll never will or be happy .
What you need to do is ask your fiancee if he really ready to have you in his life forever and to not just make a commitment but include you in his daily life too.
When is the wedding maybe this is kind of a special trip for him and his parents and family to spend time with him alone before you too get hitched. it's ok not to be included in everything right now till you accually walk down that isle you don't matter as much to the inlaws as you would like . it's hard fact to handle but true.
maybe you just need to sit down with his mom and talk about what is wrong between you too and clear things up before you do marry her son so he doesn't feel he has to choose that is what i am guessing he feels like .
sorry don't mean to point fingers or offend you but it's just the fact of realty not everyone has to like you or get along but you do have to cohabitate in the same life so deal with it. good luck
2007-02-25 13:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by d_a_truckergal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are engaged with a ring and set a date, and you aren't invited to the family reunion. I'd have a problem too, but the problem should be with your fiance, not the mother in law. It's up to him to show her how he wants you to be treated. If he's perfectly fine traipsing across the country while his mom is footing the bill, he's not much of a MAN, is he? My Man would offer to pay my way, wanting me to come with him to meet his family....RED FLAG here....don't blame the mother in law....
2007-02-25 12:54:53 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not crazy. If you are engaged, ring and all, then you should go. What a perfect time to meet all of the family. Who knows, maybe after meeting them, you might want to reconsider. lol
Also, doesn't your fiancee see that this is not right? Maybe he is a Momma's boy. I would keep track of this type of behavior.
2007-02-25 12:42:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a family reunion does not last a week, you should have had the option to go, as his fiance. Your going to have his last name! you're going to be a part of that family!
she is trying to woo him away from you, give him an ultimatum, you go as his respected fiance, [it would be a great way to meet his family before the wedding] or he can get lost, trust me she will be trouble in your future.
2007-02-25 12:44:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok... Well i would be mad because im sure the rest of the family will want to see his wife to be... i would be very upset and talk to your fiancee and say that you really want to go with him and that you feel like his mother dosnt like you i think he will understand and he will probably talk to his mother
2007-02-25 12:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by XOJordanXO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋