My mother-in-law comes to our house every Sunday a.m. I can't stand it. Should I say anything?

Question

My husband and I spend 25 hours a week together because of his work. Sunday is our only day. She doesn't care. She's here now. I've asked him to at least have her call first , he won't. Am I being petty?

Answer 1

Hunny if she is only coming over Sunday mornings i would not say a thing she could be dropping by all week and driving you nuts.. Also if you have talked to your hubby about it and he has not said anything then he must enjoy her coming over.. I would let it go and deal with it .. things could be alot worse!

Answer 2

In a way yes and in a way no.
Yes, because perhaps this visit is the highlight of her week. I'm sure if she had anywhere else to go, she wouldn't be hanging around your house every single Sunday.
No, because it is your house and having constant company that is not wanted can become too much some days.
You can have a chat with your husband and with her about it but does it really matter (it's only one day). Go on with your daily Sunday rituals regardless of whether or not she's there. She just sounds lonely and loves spending time with you both.
Every now and then, plan a Sunday outing with your husband (if you really need a break) and inform your mother in law that you won't be there this Sunday. Break up the routine and perhaps she'll find somewhere to go besides your house. Good luck

Answer 3

If she stays all day & doesnt go home till late at night then yes you have a point, and should get your husband to have a word with her and ask if she would go a little bit earlier so you could have the evening together, however if she doesnt stay all day and night and she only calls once a week then i would say you are being very petty because in my opinion any family member should be able to call anytime they want and should certainly never have to be invited or make an appointment to call, thats how normal close familys carry on, i dont know what i would do if i didnt see my mam & dad every day sometimes more than once a day and ive been married for 20 years, thats how family's should be.

Answer 4

I absolutely love my Mother-in-Law. We have the type of relationship that I can tell her I want to spend more time alone with my husband and she respects that. It doesn't mean I love her any less. I don't think you are being petty, but I do think you are not being fair to her by not speaking with her yourself and letting her know how you feel. It evidently doesn't bother your husband that she is there or he would tell her to not come over on Sunday mornings. I know my husband wouldn't have a problem telling his mother how he felt. But you as a Daughter-in-Law need to be honest and open with her. If no one has ever told her Not to come over, then she doesn't know. She can't read your minds. Her feelings may get hurt, then again they may not. But she will continue to come over EVERY Sunday until you talk to her. PS: Be very gentle with her, she did give birth to your Husband and if it weren't for her, you wouldn't have him. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Well, I don't think I would like it to be a ritual. Once a month is okey I guess, but every single Sunday?? It would drive anyone nuts. Maybe you and hubby need to plan a weekend, or at least leave Saturday night, and spend a nice quiet day alone somewhere. Then when she drops over, no-one home. Maybe she will realise that you have a life, that doesn't always include her.

Answer 6

I think that maybe you could plan to leave with your husband every Sunday for next few weeks, and see if maybe that gives her the hint. You have to beat her to it though- whatever time she usually pops in, make sure you are gone like 1 hour prior to that. If your husband won't agree to it, then I would definitely tell him he needs to talk to her and let her know that its your only day together. It sounds to me like she doesn't want to let go of her son! I too have a mother-in-law like this, but luckily, I was able to get it under control before it got too out of hand. If he won't talk to her, then you may have to be the "bad" one! Just be respectful and be as polite as possible. Good luck!

Answer 7

You are not being petty at all. Your hubby needs to decide if he is your husband or his momma's little boy. He needs to tell his mother that she can only visit for an hour on Sunday and set the time she should arrive.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Sit down with your husband, and in a caring, nondefensive way, tell him how much that time means to you. If he feels she needs to visit once a week, compromise and ask him if it can be between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00, or something like that. Then you know when she will be arriving and when she will be leaving so that your time with your husband will not only be based on amount of time, but also the quality of that time. It will allow you to make plans with him and not have to share those hours. He needs to tell mom your plan and stick to it. That way everyone wins.

Answer 9

If your husband is very close with his mother, it is probably not a good idea to fuss too much...especially if you've already asked him to have her call first and he has refused. Sometimes it's better to just put up with a mother-in-law than to cause a big scene. My husband is the same way; our biggest fights have been about his mom. Now, I am polite when she arrives but go on about my own business while she's here. I don't stop what I'm doing. Good luck!

Answer 10

why dont the pair of you go out on sunday ?he sounds like a mummys boy ,you dont see your husband much you need time together ,you should tell her that you are busy but she could come round say late afternoon for a while ,she may not realise that she is being a pain or she knows and is walking all over you ,nip it in the bud now before you have kids and she spends all her time at yours!!!

Answer 11

No way you deserve time with your husband, you guys need to talk it out on how you can leave her out a few times. Try doing something one day such as going for a picnic and don't invite her, then maybe a few weeks down the road do it again, and you can maybe get to doing it every other week or so.