he tried to burn my house down!!!!?

Question

ive had enough this time my 4 year old nephew could have burned my house down he is out of control friday night my sister begged me to watch her kids for her after i had told her no i caved canceld my plans with hubby and watched her kids for her she ddnt get back till 4 am she left at 8 pm!! so she decided to stay the night around 4 the next after noon i told her i was dead tierd andwanted to take a nap she said she would watch my kids so i could so i went and laid down when i got up she ws just leaveing my house and my hubby just getting home so i went to blow out my candles (i lite candles every morning for my son who passed away from sids when he was 6 weeks) so i went to blow out my candles and found a pen all melted on the floor and this isnt the first time hes acted up yesterdy in walmart he threw such a fit i told my sister i would pay for her things if she would just take him out sided i was so embarassed a stranger came up andtold him he needed to behave more detials

so how do i tell my sister nt to bring him over till he learns to behave him self he put my kids lifes at risk(i have 4 month old twins )

when i watch hm ive tried punishing him nothing works ive tried the jar of rocks and he gets a treat when its full ive tried ro corner iveeven tried spanking which i dont like but that didnt even work

Answer 1

I don't know if it is necessarily the kid's fault. Sounds to me like he is crying out for mom's attention - and she isn't really hearing him.

Your sister needs to put her foot down with her son. I would simply tell her that you don't feel that you can handle watching him (which is true - and nothing to be ashamed of). I would also advise your sister to get the boy tested for ADHD. The misbehaving and the fascination with fire sounds to be a bit of that. My youngest nephew is ADHD, and has been on medication for it most of his life (he is 10 now; he was 4 when he was diagnosed, and began meds when he started school). The change is amazing. He listens to adults, behaves, and he is more confident in himself. Imagine the self esteem issues when you are always told how naughty you are and that no one likes you. . .

Answer 2

First allow me to express my sympathy at the passing away of your son. I have the deepest sympathy for you and share your sorrow.
To say "he tried to burn my house down is rather dramatic. A four year old does not have to cognitive power the formulate such intent. Most small children and even adults have a fascination with fire. Have you ever been camping and everyone sits around the campfire just enjoying the warmth and flames? Someone always want to poke at the fire and watch the flames jump. Same thing with Little kids except they have no concept of the danger. Eventually as your twins get older they to will want to play with the candle's flame. The responsibility to have the memorial candle out of the reach of small children falls upon the adults. Where was your sister and what was she doing when her son was playing with fire? Why is the candle within reach of a 4 year old child? Why doesn't your sister smack her kid in the a## when he acts up at Walmart? Parenting is the responsibility of the PARENT!!

Answer 3

I think your sister needs to discipline her son more. And watch him better. If he had enough time to melt a pen, where in the world was she and what was she doing? I don't think you should stop babysitting her son, he needs some sort of discipline and guidance and if he's not getting it from his mom then it might as well be his aunt. When he is in your home, explain that he has to go by your rules and punishment if needed. Don't be shy and lay into him as if he were one of your own, put him in the corner when he is bad, take things away, or scold him. But don't forget, also recognize the good behaviour and encourage it more. We all tend to point out the wrongs more than the rights. GL with the little angel in disguise.

Answer 4

Just flat out tell her that you don't want him to be a bad influence on your children. He behaves in ways that you feel are unacceptable and you do not want him in your house. I have a similar problem with my neice, my sister just lets her run around out of control, doesn't keep her out of things, doesn't discipline her or anything. However, when my niece is at my house (and I don't have children), she knows that there are certain rules that she has to follow and certain things that she can't do. The funny thing is, my niece behaves for me now because I set these rules down, I never have to tell her to do something twice, but when my sister is around she goes all wild and crazy.

Answer 5

You should really lay some discipline into this kid, if you have the patience. I don't think that you should write off taking care of your sister's kids, because she is your sister. I think that when you are stuck with him, tell him that he has to play by your rules, and if he acts up, take away priviledges, and send him to sit in the corner. Keep at it, and don't give up, and don't show him that you are ever fazed, no matter what.
Also, I am sorry to hear about your loss, that is tragic.

Answer 6

His mother leaves her young children at 8pm, and then doesn't come home till 4am??!!? Sounds like the poor kid is acting out because of a lack of good mothering.
I know it is your sister, but you have to be honest and really think about how she is raising her child. You are noticing something is wrong. Maybe it is time you had a talk about your sister?

Answer 7

your sister is at fault for not watching him closer. a 4 year old will make a scene in stores you have to be firm and not cave in to them i would put him in the cart and stayed right in line he would learn that his fits dont get rewards . try the corner for discipline they hate standing for 20min and try playing with him and pay attention to him for an hour when he comes over if you can get close to him and gain his respect and love half the battel is won then talking might work on him

Answer 8

its the mother she needs to teach him better if hes only 4 he shouldent have been left alone long enough to melt a pen , the mother needs parenting classes and the little ones temper needs disiplaned and you are probley the only person who can help so when he is at your house you need to make rules and stick to them giving him time out for his bad behavior , if he sees that you wont put up with him acting like that he will stop when hes around you i have had this problem my self and that is how i handled it except mine was a little girl

Answer 9

sorry but lit candles should not be anywere near a 4 year old that would be your mistake not the four tear old who dosent understand the consept of dying the grocery store insedent is not his fault it is the one who trained him to be this way that is also not a human trait,i believe your sister needs not to give attention to him when he misbehaves. and compliment him when he is good and reward him when he is when he only gets attention when he misbehavesthats what he will keep on doing

Answer 10

I would tell her you will not watch her kids anymore till she taught them to respect other peoples stuff and homes. Sounds like she needs to be alot stricter on her discipline. But no, i wouldn't watch ANYONES kids who acted like this at my home no matter what the situation. She took advantage of you anyways. She should have came back and taken her kids home at an earlier time. This is the reason i won't babysit anyones kids anymore. i won't be taken advantage of and i won't watch kids who disrespect me or my home. Thats my rule and i stick by it. Final answer.