How do you survive the pain of a lost child?

Question

just figure out the pain you would have if your child would be takin away from you to be put in foster care..........

Answer 1

well why was the child put in foster care? was the mother not a good mother? Did the mother abuse the child? what is better for the child not the mom? you got to ask these questions what is better for the child possibly a two parent home. I do not know the situation but usually the child is put in foster care for a good reason.

Answer 2

Ok, I thought this question was about a child dying. However, it turned out to be from someone who apparently was at fault and did something to cause DHS to take away her child. No sympathy here, sorry.

My cousin lost her son to a tragic car accident, and she is still grieving years later. She will never get him back. You, however, or the mother in question, can clean up her act and do whatever it takes to get the child back. The child is obviously in a safer place if the state had to step in and take the child to a foster home in order to provide a safe house. Was it drugs, abuse, neglect, etc? If you really want the child back, then you need to straighten up, stop looking for sympathy, and focus on being a better mother, instead of spending time on Answers fishing for sympathy.

No, I can't imagine what the pain of having my child put in foster care would be like, because I've always been responsible enough to ensure that never happens. Having a child taken away and put in foster care doesn't just happen for no reason. You either neglected, abused, or have a serious drug problem that needs to be addressed before you get the baby back.

Answer 3

I can't tell you what it's like to be in your position. But I can tell you what happened to me recently and it may give you another perspective. My husband and I had a friend (male) with a 2 month old baby whose mother didn't want him. He brought him to us on the premise that we may adopt him. I have wanted children for 20 years and cannot have them. We bonded with that baby the first day. He would cry when his natural father held him every time but would quiet down as soon as my husband or I had him. He would bring him every weekend and we would see that he was not taken care of during the week by the girl or her mother who had custudy. We fell in love with him the first day and thought God answered our prayers. I held him and loved him and told him I have waited for him ALL my life. We were so happy and that baby was happy with us. Then all at once the father changed his mind and he just quit bringing the baby. We know he's still underweight (10 lbs.@ 3 months) and we know he's not taken care of and there's nothing legally we can do. Can't even visit him. And yes we have both cried for weeks and feel like he was our baby that just got ripped away from us. Even if he could go into a good home where he's taken care of and it's not wih us would be better than where he is. But I feel like my heart is ripped out and this will hurt forever. Even if we do end up adopting another baby this baby can never be replaced. So I too would like to know how you get over the pain because right now all I want to do is hold him and tell him how much I love him and want him. You need to take care of whatever happened to take him away so you can get him back and then be grateful for him and LOVE him. Believe me I wish I had that choice.

Answer 4

As someone else said I thought this was a question about the death of a child...which I have experience. Children dont get taken away and put in foster care for no reason at all...there is always a reason such as drugs, neglect, abuse. And in that case the child needs to be taken away. Anybody who would knowingly put their children in danger need to have their children taken away and put somewhere where they will be safe and taken care of. It is the parents fault that the child was taken away. If you loved your children you would take care of them and they wouldnt get taken away by child services. At least in foster care you can clean up and maybe get your child back, or at least there is always that hope. I know that I will never see my daughter again, or at least not until I die and meet her in heaven...and beleive me THAT IS PAIN.

Answer 5

I would pray. While the foster care system in this country has saved the live of countless of children, you don't really hear about anything else. People don't know that if they take away your children it may take years to get them back, even if you do everything they ask of you from day one. I could go on and on about the flaws in the system, but that would take forever.

Sorry if I offended any hard working case workers out there but, the foster care system just needs a major overhaul!

Answer 6

1. Realize what put the child in that place and make a vow to make the changes needed. 2. Realize that your child is in good care. Foster parents are screened and are typically loving people. 3. Pray.

Answer 7

Be happy that your lost child is still living. Do everything you can to clean up what is wrong and be grateful that you really haven't lost your child, you are only on the outside looking in. Find the door and the key. My lost child would have been 14 years old this month. Being in fostercare would have been better than the graveyard.

Answer 8

Not sure...I would die if one of my kids would be taken away. I also know it is an extremely stressful job to be a good mother. Like I said not sure why he or she was taken away but I do know that there is a possibility of u gettin him or her back if u try to meet their standards. So if u have learned from whatever mistake was made than go for it fight to have ur child with u but if u havent and dont think ur capable of caring for him or her than leave him or her be and pray he or she gets a bright future.

Answer 9

What the hell did u do, that made ur child get put in foster care? they dont just put them in there for shits and giggles... try taking some parenting classes

Answer 10

my mother is a social worker and for 20 yrs she worked with newborn's. if a mother can't take care of her child, the child has to go somewhere where someone can take care of the child. its sad and it hurts, but its whats best for the child. i don't know if you survive, you simply have to exist. if you can put your life together than you could possibly get your child back.