My boyfriend seems to be taking me for granted ? What am I meant to do ?

Question

I recently got together with my ex who I was with when I was 15, that was 5 years ago, we hadn't seen each other for those 5 years or spoke, and when we were together before it was only for 5 months - although he did lose his virginity to me back then.
This time around, we have been together for a month and a half but yesterday he really upset me - he said (When i was at work) that he was going to go out instead of seeing me which he was meant to - as it was his mates birthday - so i said okay and spent the night in alone, then i get a call WAKING ME UP at 1am saying "come over" he was drunk but i got a taxi there anyway - only for him to have fallen asleep so i had to get the taxi straight back to my house. Then today he says he is watching the football and wont be round till the afternoon but yesterday he said he was going to take me to the cinema and be round early...now he is saying he wont be round till 8pm as he is going to the sauna....what should i do ?? Is he taking the pi#s?

Answer 1

Sit him down and tell him what you expect out of the relationship.

Answer 2

don't LET him take you for granted. I went through this with my boyfriend after we had been together for about 2 years or so. He got to the point when he KNEW I was going to be there for him no matter what, and got a little too comfortable with the idea, and really started to do some of the things you mentioned that your boyfriend is doing. Basically, your in control of how you allow people to treat you. Talk to him about it, let him know how he's making you feel. Or, make yourself less available to him. Instead of always being there at his convenience, make your own plans-- or turn him down a time or two. He needs to realize that you're not going to be around when it is convenient for HIM, but it needs to go both ways...

I've always been the type that will change my plans around or go the extra mile for my boyfriend...but if it gets to the point where he won't do that in return, you're really going to begin to resent him for it if some change isn't made. Just be open and honest with him. You deserve to be treated better.

Answer 3

You sound like you are very committed to the relationship. Getting a taxi at 1am in the morning shows that. At the end of the day if he said he was going to take you out but blew you off for the football tell him you dont want him to come round to you tonight. that will make him think about his actions but don't l;et him know you are mad at him as it will just create arguements

Answer 4

U should tell him that u thought the 2 of u were going to hang instead of going out alone. also u should try to set things up together that will make sure that u spend time together. As far as the drunk thing, hey he was drunk he probably didn't even remember calling u. Personally I don't think someone that gets that toasted is worth hanging with anyway but it's your call.

Answer 5

Oh my god, run as fast as you can from this guy and keep running. It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Having saif that, being together for a month does not feel like committment on either side to me. If you are keen on him, make yourself totally unavailable to him; I mean, if it was me being rung by my other half(and he only did it once!) cos he missed the last bus and we live 30 miles from the city - I told him it was his own fault for staying so long in the pub. He could get himself home.
He did.
Eventually.
If he is interested in you, he will shape up. Don't make it easy for him. Next time he makes arrangements with you, tell him you need to know if it is actually going to happen, as you have a busy life and loads of friends to catch up with. DO NOT spend the evening in alone waiting for him to call you.
If he doesn't turn up on time, leave without him - go somwhere else - just don't be available.

Answer 6

He just wants the sex by the sound of it. He isn't showing you any consideration or respect. Also he's putting his mates and what he wants do first. He is being totally inconsiderate and this is no basis for a good strong relationship. In answer to the last part of your question, he is taking the p.i.s.s. Tell him to go and mess around with some other girls life coz you aint having it. Go out with your girlfriends and look for somebody decent.

Answer 7

Stop being predictable if you don't want him to take u for granted!The best way to make realize is make your own individual plans WITHOUT him. Believe me, it will work. Just go out and have fun. Stop waiting around for him. Ur life doesn't hinge on his when he is not around. He thinks he can take things light becoz he knows u'll always be there. He needs to get a wake-up call from u! Get going girl. Have an awesome day! Let him come looking for u.

Answer 8

You dumped his the first time for obviously good reasons, so why do you think he has changed in five years??? also, relationships that start at 15/16 do not TEND to last. Suggest you end the relationship and move on to someone who will appreciate you more. We are not all bad. Good luck with your search for Mr Perfect.

Answer 9

He certainly does seem to have you dangling on a string, with his constant summons and time changes for dates.

Next time he changes the time or circumstances of your date, tell him that you're not available, and take yourself off for a facial or some other treat. You don't have to put up with being tugged around! It's a way for him to be in total control of the relationship, but that sort of thing can't work out well. Either you're equals, and you can expect him to keep his committments as to dates, or he's the power-player (as with his demands and constant changes).

Best advice -- stick in your heels and refuse to be toyed with. Either he relates to you as an equal, or look for another boyfriend.

Answer 10

I have the same problem sometimes. Just dont say anything to him. do your own thing with your friendz. You may be spending to much time together but dont let this get you down. you will get the attention you want. Just remember everything in a relationship is not about how and when you want it all the time. He needs special things too.

Answer 11

I would get out before too many more emotions got involved...It doesn't sound like he is about you at all. There is someone out there who will love and want to spend great quality time with you. Separate yourself so that you can begin working on yourself to better prepare yourself for Mr right. Don't go looking for him. Concentrate on you and while your focused on you he will find you....And you will know when he finds you!