I love my father, but I don't have a good relationship with him?

Question

We don't get along very well and I don't like spending long periods of time with him, but I know I still love him. Does anyone else have a similar situation with a family member?

Answer 1

I don't get along well with my father either. Usually when we talk we end up arguing. He's very stubborn... and so am I... and he never understands me. He never lets me go out, he checks on me all the time, to see where I am. He doesn't trust me, although the only place I'm going is school. I wish we could get along better, but it's because this conflict between generations, I guess. I even have to lie to him sometimes if I want to go eat a pizza with my friends because he leaves me no other choice.

Answer 2

My son and husband have that relationship right now. My son thinks he's old enough to do whatever he wants, which ignites my husband. He has no job and not doing that well in school and yes at times gotten into some trouble. So as you can see dad is not going to trust him and does not see him as knowing better. My son and I have a good relationship and when we talk he lets me know he loves his dad just can't stand being around him. My husband says it kills him not having a better relationship with him. The funny thing about this, they are both so much alike. They are both very stubborn, don't like to be told what to do......get the picture. They know I don't pick sides because for me it's not about picking sides it's about keeping my family together. Sometimes my husband it right and sometimes my son is. But in the mean time being right means you lose time of getting to know each other. My husband had a strain relationship with his dad for pretty much the same things when he was young....now that he's old and wiser, they get along great. I'm praying that will happen with my son and my husband someday. I just hope it won't be to late for either of them. Life is to precious to waste it. Good luck and I hope you and your father find common ground so that you can start having a better relationship.

Answer 3

Yep. I had a terrible time with my Dad when I was growing up. He was verbally abusive; he was discouraging, he didn't participate in anything I was interested in, he hated all of my boyfriends, and basically anything that went on in my life. It was not a good time. Later on, when I was grown and married, he really changed. I don't know what happened; but, he's still here and now he tells me he loves me, will hug me and if I need anything, he's there. Why he wasn't like this when I was a kid, I don't know. I just know I love him and had to forgive him for his mistakes. So, while I still have my father, I have chosen to take advantage of any love he has to offer. It's been good. I don't regret forgiving him, nor do I hold all of those years over him or try to rectify them with him. I just let it go and enjoy the moment. I hope this happens for you. Godloveya.

Answer 4

Me and my father dont get along well either. He's always working (4 jobs daily) and so he's never around. He never goes to any activities im in or anything. He doesnt tell me that he loves me, doesnt tell me goodnight, or have a good day at school or anything! He's not abusive, but he just doesnt show that he loves me. Personally, Im not sure that he does. I hope that everything turns out ok between you two. Maybe you should try talking to him. But I know how hard that is. I tried and I couldnt do it.

Answer 5

When I was growing up my father was hardly ever around, he was always working and then gone to the farm (second job). We never really had a relationship and even when he retired it was difficult to talk to him even for short periods of time. What I try to do is find something that interests him and get him talking. Most days its great and other times its quite difficult (you run out things to talk about)
For you to start bonding, ask him what it was like for him growing up and what he enjoyed the most or hated. Talk to him about your day and ask him about his. Find things that interest him about the daily news or something of interest to him. The more you are in tune with him the closer you'll be, it won't happen overnight but if you keep at it ,it will get a lot better.

Answer 6

Carob,
I USED to, also! For me, I had a good reason.

My older Brother didn't get along with our Dad either, for most of our growing up! Many psychological problems for us due to this! Then, eventually my Mom Divorced him and THAT'S how bad things were.

Now, both parents habve passed on. I felt a sort of relief when my Dad died, but, I was "pulled" in so many ways at the time, bcuz I was trying to get my head set that, OK, he was my Dad, flesh and blood, then on the other side of things, we had these problems, etc.

My Brother and I had ALOT of emotional "sorting" after his death in 1991 from Cancer. But, at least I can talk about it NOW, when I wasn't able to for so long!

Answer 7

Well, there is nothing you can really do. If you love him then thats all that matters. But you have to ask your self why you cant stand him for long periods of time. Is it your fault or is it his? Just try to be patient and dont get angry with him so easily.