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and they usually try to be that perfect person, how do they feel or react. My ex was caught in one big lie, and he could't really talk to me on the phone, it had to be online. And then, I found out more and more lies about him. When I confronted him he would completley ignore me and not want to talk to me at all. He got angry and told me that we should not speak anymore.
When we did sort of speak, he tried to turn things around on me and make me feel I was at fault for certain things I had nothing to do with. Is this typical behavior of a 29 yr, well educated teacher? Is it was because he tries to be so perfect he actually beleives the lies he says or is he just a huge liar altogether. Are compulive liars in a way manipulators?

2007-02-25 03:35:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

5 answers

I would be careful of him, if he is lying try to find out why he did it, if he is telling you lots of things that are not true and you don't really know him please be careful. Are you sure he is all you think he is?

2007-02-25 03:50:04 · answer #1 · answered by Friend 6 · 0 0

I think its got more to do with personality than just whether he's a liar or not. Some people tell lies to hide mistakes or prtect themselves from the fallout (punishment) of their misdeads BUT reasonable rational people who get caught out dont carry on like your hubby they may be too embarrassed to explain or even a little upset and angry at actually being found out but no they dont balme everyone else for their lies. I have heard of abusive men that hit women and then try to blame the women for intiating it and it seems that your hubby is adopting the same kind of behaviour. Like the previous person i think he is behaving like an irrespoinsible child and trying to blame you rather than standing up and taking responsibility for his own misdeads. Dont play into his hands by agreeing to his terms- why shouldnt you speak (?) after all hes lied and you ned to know why... I think that you need to be focussed on the actual issue and keep bringing him back to it until its resolved. Tell him that the problem wont go away until its dealt with.. tell him you need to understand.... and if he changes the subject-DONT LET HIM- tell him he is avoiding the issue, that hes trying to change the subject to avoid the truth.. and then repeat your questin or whatever it was that triggered his evasion and keep coming back to it until he addresses the issue. For example ... ok so I did xxx and we can talk about that later but right now I ned to understand why you said/did...., I feel upset and decieved, i need to understand why/how... so that I can put it behind me and we can get on with our lives(etc).
Dont argue but say how you feel, whats making you feel that way and what will help fix ... I am confused about why lied to me about xx, i need to undedrstand why.
Good luck.

2007-02-25 12:09:06 · answer #2 · answered by magpiez 5 · 0 0

Whatever his problem is, keep his "ex-" status current.

You are showing more interest in the guy you used to be with than is good for you.

2007-02-25 12:13:59 · answer #3 · answered by jackbutler5555 5 · 1 0

29?? sounds more like 9.

2007-02-25 11:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by jaypea40 5 · 0 0

Time to move on !

2007-02-25 12:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by michael m 3 · 1 0

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