this is long, but i really need someone to help me out over this.?

Question

it's been a year now i meet this guy on chat,we got along just like that, and so fast, we have alot of talks and he has a girlfriend. i no he lies about a few things when it comes to her, but that i just let go. we both get lost with out one an other, and we worry to much when the other one is not online, i had a bad time with my ex, things he done to me, and this guy on chat helped me through it all, he taught me to love again, and open up my heart, which was very hard for me to do. we keep talking and when we do, we think the same almost all the time, we say the same things, it's like i feel him in my heart,not long ago i was in hospital 4 a wekk an i could not tell him till i got back, i scared him, now i hve not hurd from him 4 a few days, dont no what 2 think, please help me

he says he loves his girl but he is not inlove with her, but is with me, i even saw him really upset one time, cause we had a little fight, like we were married, i;m just lost and need a better understanding of this, i hope im not the only one that falls in love over chat,

Answer 1

How in the hell can you really know someone from an online chat. You do't know if that person at the other end is a psycho, alcoholic, murder, or anything. I suggest that you deal with people face to face as that is the only way to get to know someone.

As you chat, you are missing the personal connection that is so necessary in any relationship. You are typing words that describe how you feel, but until you can see the reaction of the person on the other end (other than a supid little smiley like :))) - then only then will you know if that person will work for you.

I suggest getting offline, getting to know someone for who they are, not what they type. You are missing something, and filling the void with chatting is not going to help anything. If anything, it will deepen your issue with not meeting the right person face to face.

Hard, but straight from my gut.

Good luck and quit chatting.

Answer 2

You seem to be getting a lot from this person/relationship. The problem, as I see it, is the two of you, or at least you, haven't decided exactly what kind of a relationship you have. I think you need to work on that. You need to decide whether this is going to be a friendship or a romance. IMO you can't have both, the rules are just different from one to the other. In my experience if a friendship is allowed to progress to a romance the road back to friendship is almost impossible. As I said earlier the rules are different and most people who experience a failure in a romantic relationship become estranged very quickly. One more thing, if you and he agree to take this to the next step, you really need to meet face to face. From your question, it sounds to me like you haven't. If you both decide a friendship is what you want then you are fine as you are.

Don't let the absence worry you too much. He could be in a situation similar to the hospital experience you had. I would be concerned but not worried for at least a couple of weeks.

I sure hope that helps. While the Internet and chat rooms are a lot of fun, they can foster long distance relationships that are extremely difficult to maintain. I wish you and him all the best.

Answer 3

online relationships are always scary. just to get that out. you have no idea who this guy is (assuming u've never met him) so he could be a creep ... or he could really be the nice guy he seems like. one thing that bothers me is that u said he's in a relationship- why would he be online talking to some girl he doesn't know (you) for hours and get scared when you don't talk to him in a week if he has a girlfriend and life of his own? i'd say stop chatting so much so that u don't become addicted to him... i know it's hard, but once you stop talking to him so much, it'll be come easier. if you decide to meet him someday, make sure you meet him in a VERY public place. i wish you luck, and stay safe!!!

Answer 4

Hi Jen. I think you need to find someone with skin on them and have a relationship out in the open. Meeting people on the net is dangerous, among other things. And since you already know he lies and has a girlfriend, it's a no-brainer. Find someone you can go out with. Someone you can go to the movies with. Someone you can go have a cup of coffee with. Someone who will look you in the eyes and not lie to you. Someone who will treat you like you deserve. Sometimes it's best to take a break from guys after your relationship ends. Your emotions need time to heal. Otherwise, you'll end up in deeper trouble with the next fella. It's time to do some personal evaluations on what you expect from people. You deserve the truth. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve more than what this internet boy is giving you. Find out why you allowed someone to give you a bad time, then make sure you don't allow it to happen again. Take control of your life. People will only do to you what you allow. What to do now? Get involved with some volunteer work. Fill your spare time with helping others. Get involved in a creative project, like crocheting or painting. Get outside of yourself. I've been where you are, and believe me, you can dig yourself a pretty deep rut and have a really big pity party. Get out of the rut and experience what's out there. This is a really big world. You're not stuck. You're only limited by yourself. While meeting people on the net can be fun, don't date them. Life's more exciting up front and personal. <*)))><

Answer 5

Guys usually say things like he is saying when they want some side action. And if he isn't married to the chick he is with he is not cheating. You should get married if you want to be with someone so bad. You sound young and vulnerable. Get married so that you can be with someone for the long haul thats what you need. Otherwise you may become bitter because of all the drama you are going through.

Answer 6

Well personally if he would cheat on his girlfriend via the internet with you he is basically a worthless scum. Once a cheater always a cheater. If he were to break up with her to be with you, there could never be any trust. Really how could you trust him. If he hasnt been around for a couple of days, chalk it up to, he was there for you when you needed him and now it is time to move on. Trust me there are a lot of good men out there, just open your eyes heart and mind. ;D

Answer 7

Maybe he realized what fools you both are and has decided to not chat with you anymore. Get off the computer and go out into the world and find a living, breathing human being to talk to.

Answer 8

Doesn't it bother you that you will never be able to be with him. He will never be able to actually comfort you, or hold you if you're hurting. You won't be able to hold hands while walking down the street. I know personality is so important and he listens to you and what not. But also there are a lot of people Scaming people over the internet, so be very careful!

Answer 9

He may be just a liar for everything he said. Chatting with unknown people that you haven't met is kind of dangerous.

Answer 10

you are definitely not the one, sweetie... but he is the one who needs to take that step, you know that. if he really does feel the same way, you must meet up, the sooner the better. it might end up in disappointment though for the first time, let me warn you. if he doesnt willing to take that step that he is not half serious you would think. good luck!