Okay, Here is my situation I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. At the beginning it was an answered prayer (literally). Actually, it was the best thing for me at the time. It has enabled me to be a stronger woman & learn how to have a "healthy" non-abusive relationship. But, at the same time my intuition tells me we are is as far as we'll ever get. I want more and he just can't or won't give more or move on from the past relationships that have severely damaged his ideas of a commitment & long-term relationship. ( Our ideas of a relationship are completely different) I have reaped his "bad past" long enough, he just will not open up to me on certain issues, & I can't help him with them. So, On the 17th of this month, after a year of discussing & planning I decided to moved out of "our" house & get my own place again. There are just to many issues that absolutely need to be resolved before "this" relationship can grow any further. For myself...If I don't resolve the issues that hinder me I will never be able to be a mentally healthy woman. I can't resolve these issues with no one else, I have to do this myself. No one can help me with them & The same for him. This is reality- not an opinion or emotion. He has helped me in this transition being very understanding & supportive.(We are still together, just living a part) BUT....
My woman intuition tells me that I need to end our relationship completely, I feel like I am not an important part of his life, that he takes me for granted. He says, "I am" but, his actions are totally different from his words. I have almost always felt like I was "on the side", that quality time with me is not an issue for him. He has always pushed the issues of quality time to the side saying, "we have 30 or more years for it, but I NEED more & no matter what I say or do I D'ONT get it. I battled this issue with him for almost 2 yrs now. I am tired of repeating myself.
In the beginning, he was everything in a man I desired... He is truly a good , decent, caring, loving man, but at the same time he is self-centered and extremely selfish. I reap the bad that has happened to him, I love him ....What do I do?
How do I let go the best thing in life that has happened to me?
2007-02-25 02:59:07 · 2 answers · asked by Cajun_ Creater 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So far you have made some excellent decisions and you are on the verge of making another great decision and that is to walk away from what is left of your relationship.
Have you considered that it is possible he was everything that you needed three years ago but is no longer everything that you need? I get the impression that you met him as you came out of an abusive relationship. He taught you that there are other ways to be with someone. However, a man that is selfish, self centered and does not want to put your needs on an equal plane as his own is in fact abusing you in a different way. I don't mean he is abusive per se, rather he may be borderline emotionally abusive and while he was not as bad as what you had experienced prior, it does not mean that he should be the final stop on your relationship journey through life.
Trust your intuition, you have been there in the past and you are learning from your experiences. Take some time now to do things for you and enjoy your life as your top priority. Stop waiting for another to make you a priority. He won't change, either you are top priority now or you never will be. You however can be true to yourself and go with your instinct. Good luck.
2007-02-25 03:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by karenlanea2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't ignore your intuition. E-mail him this question and get his thoughts on it. Sometimes selfish people need to see who they really are and how much they hurt others.
Love helped you to grow. Love will help you to move on.
2007-02-25 11:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Noree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋