My parents really do dote on my toddler. But sometimes they can go to extremes. Just the other day, we were at my uncle's place and they handed him an ornament of my uncle's (without permission from him and which I know is priceless to him) to play just because my toddler was wanting it. Then, subsequently, they let him bang on my uncle's piano again without permission. I put a stop to it and of course my baby started yelling, to which my mom's response was to scoop him up and console him, saying all the while "Naughty mommy". I was really quite mad at them. My boy spends the day with my mom while I am at work and I'm worried about discipline with him. I've tried talking to my parents but they think I'm overreacting. Any ideas what I can do?
2007-02-25 02:42:28 · 13 answers · asked by Lido 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Well I'm going to say that I agree with the finding a daycare and/or alternative babysitter idea.
It is normal for grandparents to indulge the grand kids, but usually they don't see them on a daily basis.
With your mom keeping the child everyday she really doesn't get to just be "grandma" .
Good Luck
2007-02-25 03:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by bye bye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a daycare.
Usually I would say it's no big deal because grandpaerents don't typically see their grandchildren enough to make spoiling a problem. But, if your mom is watching him alll day, that is a problem.
You need to find a daycare. Your mom wants to spoil him and as a grandparent she should be able to. She can't do that if she's taking care of him alll day.
How is your mom with him during the day? Is she only spoiling when you're around? If so then not such a big deal, but if she is letting him have whatever he wants all day long everyday, that is a problem.
2007-02-25 11:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by babypocket2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might need to find a new babysitter. My in laws drive me crazy with what they do with my son. Each time he's there they bring him into bed with him and then we spend the next few nights up with him trying to get him back into his bed. They also let him eat as many sweets as he wants and buy him toys he doesn't need. I try to limit the time they see him which I know probably isn't the right answer but works for me. My husband tells me that they are grandparents, thats what they are suppose to do. Blah blah blah. I say stand up to your parents and let them know you don't agree with them. And tell them you are finding a new babysitter if they can't handle discplining him. He's a toddler and if he doesn't learn how to behave now, he is going to have a hard time in school. I worked as a preschool teacher for years and could tell instintly which children had structure and which ones didn't. Good luck.
2007-02-25 11:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by Jamie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I 'm not sure what you did to put a stop to it, but assuming you weren't being physically or verbally abusive, your mom was way out of line. You are very considerate of your uncles, and others feelings. We all wish more people taught their children to respect others and their property. Be sure to always have age appropriate things for your child to play with when visiting others, and make visits short until they are old enough to entertain themselves, and understand the value of things. As Dear Abby says, print this out and show your mom. Then she will know people agree with you. I'm glad she is there for both of you, and obviously has a great deal of love for her grandbaby, but she doesn't want to turn them into a little brat or tyrant that other people don't want around.
2007-02-25 11:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by Linda L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understanding what you're saying. When my kids were young, my parents spoiled them too. However, they didn't come anywhere near the "naughty mommy" thing. I'd suggest bringing up some of the discipline and correction, and the "rules" they did with you. I didn't think about this when my kids were young. We've talked about it after my kids were grown and they just didn't realize they were spoiling and being so passive with my kids. Good luck!
2007-02-25 10:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!!! My parents are the same way. I finally got threw to them when I explained that I understand that they love them and they have the freedom to spoil their grandkids but that I am also the parent and my role in my children's lives is to mold them to become resposible adults. I threw an extreme example like if one of my kids was to run over a person (god forbide of course) I want my kids to be responsible to stay there and look for help and know that I will help them in any way I can but they would have to face their consequence. Not for them to run away from the accident and leave a person to die and for them to think they can get away with it. A bit harsh but it worked.
2007-02-25 12:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have in-laws who are that way. Its the great-grandmother on the fathers side. In addition to disciplinary issues, both her children (boys, Reed and Doug) have passed away and she insists on calling my son Reed even though it isn't his name because it is her belief that he is his grandfather reincarnated. But get this: SHE DOES IT WITH MY NEPHEW TOO! My sister in-law and I both said to her that while it would hurt us to do it, that if she continued the behavior she simply wouldn't be able to see our children as often and not with out us present.
It seems harsh, or maybe extreme, but I think her behavior was pretty extreme, and I am the one to have to deal with the consequences. And I won't tolerate it. She hasn't called either of our kids Reed, or given them soda, or told them we (their mothers) were being mean since and has improved dramatically. But Grandma will be Grandma from time to time no matter what you do.
Good Luck!
2007-02-25 11:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by Ari 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you're not going to tolerate them undermining your authority with your child. Inform them that you are the ultimate decision maker when it comes to that child and what you say goes no matter what. Tell them if they don't like it you'll find some other form of day care. Remain firm in your decisions but use tact. Be nice in the way you tell them but be assertive also.
2007-02-25 10:53:14 · answer #8 · answered by Angry-T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and explain to them the rules you have for their children. And that you really would like their support in following those rules. You understand that they were parents once and want to offer their advice, but these are your children and you are raising them. Grandparents are for spoiling, but not like that. Let them spoil your kids in other ways.
2007-02-25 15:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by j_mo83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd ask them how they think you would have turned out if they'd spoiled you like that.
I'd also say that if they keep on indulging him like that, you're going to find another babysitter. That's just nuts.
2007-02-25 10:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋