17 year old son wants to go on holiday alone?

Question

Hi there, My 17 year old son is fascinated with Thailand and wants to do a 4 week holiday from this gap year company. I'm a bit afraid to allow him to go as he would be going alone and meeting the folk in thailand itself. he would have spare time to do as he pleases and i'm worried he wont be safe alone. there will be others doing this gap holiday but obviously he wont be childminded as such.
Am I being too over protective?
He will hate us if we don't let him go and can we stop him anyway? If we dont let him go now he will go when he's 18 anyway without our permission,
What shall we do?

Answer 1

It is not a safe place at all for a young man to go alone. I have been there many times on business. All the bars and discos are open invitation for getting AIDS. It is very hard for a young man to resist the girls over there. After letting him know all the true factst tell your son that it is upto him to decide finally about the trip, let him himself refuse the trip, if you stop a grown up child of 17 it will make him rebellous and he might hate you, so present all the concerns in detail and let him decide. By love and full information you can convince him for not going, by force he will still go and will hate you. So try your best to stop him, if you fail then pray for his safety and let him go happyly.

Answer 2

Travelling alone in Thailand is a bad idea for anyone not familiar with the country, never mind a 17 year-old. It might look bad on you if he does have a problem. Imagine what people would say about parents that let a 17 year old go on a 4 week holiday alone to Thailand. If he was 18 then I think people would be more understanding. If he's 18 its up to him whether he does someting stupid, at 17 it might be seen that its your responsibility to stop him doing something stupid.

More suitable than travelling alone might be something more structured. I think that there are some companies that do short volunteer placements for students to in Asia, including, Thailand. They're not that cheap but anyway here's a website link to the i-to-i site:- http://www.i-to-i.com/destinations/thailand/

Answer 3

I knew couple Americans who took a gap year and spent a year in Thailand. Beside travelling around, they worked as a tempolary teacher in the university. I don't think they had faced any big problems but were very happy and enjoy lives in Thailand-they can feel REAL Thai. But, as you said your son is 17, which is too young to travel alone without any friends, not only to Thailand but others places too. By the way, i tell you this coz I want to let you know there're plenty of ways to travel with safety.

Answer 4

It appears that you are not American - but if you are European, then this may apply as Britian is now "most" hated too.. American children do not get a "gap" year.


Have him - not you - contact the state department and get their advisories and information on travel to Thailand. It is dangerous. Have him watch the movie "The Beach" starring Leo DiCaprio with you. Not a good movie but does hint at how dangerous that region of the world is.

If the state department rating for Thailand is no go on the day he is to leave, then make it a no go and lose the money paid if you have to.

There are many areas of the world on the No Go list for Americans each and every day, and Americans ignore and pretend ignorance and go anyway. "The Arrogant American" as the rest of the world calls us. You cannot even travel to Italy if you are an American Service Member or Government Employee if it is on the No Go List. And - yes, Italy, Greece, any country of the Middle East, Spain all can be on the no go list for any given day. Europe, the south pacific, and the middle east have been dealing with terrorist bombs for so long, that it is not even news when a restaurant in Rome blows up. American service members stationed in these places always inspect their car for bombs each and every time they get in. The world is not safe with terrorists. Maybe Nancy Pelosi will be making treasonous statements in public the day your son leaves and inspire terrorists to bomb all foreigners in Thailand that week.

If it was my son, I would strongly support the trip if he was very mature and did understand the danger of even taking a shortcut when his friends went the long way. Never ever go out alone after dark in these countries - even just to have a cigarette. In daylight, go with a group of at least three.

The entire world hates the "arrogant" Americans and now the Europeans for opposing terrorism too..

Answer 5

I definitely knows your worries here. Generally, it really depends what your son real objectives getting from the thailand trip. Its safe if travelling within bangkok, currently south bangkok is having terrorist bombing consistently. make sure hes updated with current news and know whats he doing and where hes going.

I travel around thailand when im 16, till now 23, im still goes there often and finds it generally safe as a single woman in thailand. As some had warned, avoid alleys ways, dark areas. but that would depend which hotels or hostel hes gonna stay.

What i know is the bombing is said to target and moving towards bangkok the next few months, which im kinda worried for your son. Maybe propose to him to go to a safer area for the first 1 or 2 wks, like malaysia, singapore, etc. then take a budget airline like tigerairways to thailand on the next few wks(cost less than 100USD one trip from singapore to bangkok).. in this way, u can sounded it more interesting for him and be more assured hes safe and spending lesser period of time in thailand.

It really just need to depends what hes really thinking at the back of his mind. Pubs and parties are everywhere, sex and pros are a lot in thailand. If hes a good boy, he will be good, if hes not... give my suggestion a thought.

Answer 6

If he is going with a gap year organisation he will be on their insurance for the whole duration that he is with them, even during 'free time'. I went away when I was 17 with a 'youth development' organisation, that was for 3 months. At the time it felt very adventurous and was definitely very beneficial to my personal development. I later realised when I'd done a lot of travel on my own that I was thoroughly looked after all the time during that trip and I'm sure the same will be true of your son. If he travels on after the end of his gap project then he will not be covered by the organisation's insurance and that might be slightly more dangerous, but Thailand is a very safe country and there are loads of westerners there. I think it would be a big mistake not to let him go! but you know best.

Answer 7

I took my first overseas holiday alone at 15 and was fine. I told everyone I met that I was 18 and obviously passed for it. It was an adventure.

But, nobody should do anything without full research and understanding the situation that they are going into. The culture is very different from home. As his parents, please help him find out all he needs to and discuss it at length to qualify his understanding about how he will need to look after his own safety at all times.

Ask his friends about it too, to see what concerns - if any- they have and discuss yours. Peer pressure might help him change his mind, but he is 17 now.

Otherwise, has he been overseas alone before? Perhaps send him to Amsterdam for a few days to try it out. There are temptations there, as everywhere and he could easily return home earlier if he didnt like being alone. Much cheaper than from long Thailand.

Good luck! Rob

Answer 8

It is wise that you ask. I have lived in Thailand for 12 years so I know a little about the place.
Your son will be perfectly safe in Thailand provided that he wants to be. Thai's are polite, respectful and helpful people who want visitors to leave Thailand with a positive impression of their country. If your son comes to Thailand looking for culture, history, friendship, scenery etc. he will find it. If he is looking for sexual adventure he can find that as well. The truth is that he has to be looking for any of these things before he will find them but none of them are very hidden. They are simply not forced or pushed upon you.
Most people do not o mad when they come here unless they have the intention of being mad when they left home.
You probably need to trust your son and at least rest assured that nobody in this wonderful country will be trying to lead him astray unless he is actively wanting to be led.

Answer 9

Hi there, you should know your son much better than us. I can only help you by providing information on Thailand. But I do find some information lacking, like which part of Thailand is your some goingto be staying. Those things about bars and AIDS just do not happen all over the 76 provinces of Thailand. There are far too many distorted information from people who do not know Thailand that well. Some even regular visitors, I guess have not been around Thailand that much too or know the culture and traditions well. I must admit I am no authority or expert on Thailand. Much of what I share is based on my travels and interacting with the Thais, to know and understand them better.

For a start, I think your son is a responsible kid. So I am sure he will listen to advices from you. Secondly, his trip do involve other fellow travelers. Care to share who they are? Are they his schoolmates? Casual friends or just happen to be on the same trip? If you know them well, you know if you can rely on them to help watch over your son.

Thailand is not that dangerous as made out to be by some of the posters. I had communicated with some solitary lady traveler to Thailand and they had enjoyed their safe travel on their own. So I am sure your son will be fine in Thailand.

You can use this trip to let him know your trust in him to do the right things on his own. Give him good parental advises on the proper do's and don'ts while he is there. Use this as an incentive for him being good. I am sure he will reciprocate better with this type of positive support, especially from you.

So, just prepare to have a good talk with him over this. You need to know how he feels too and you need to allay any fears he might have. And for a start, it will be good for him to learn to speak some basic Thai. He will need to know some basic Thai culture and customs too. Make this his homework to prepare for the trip. So at least you will know what he will be doing while he is there. And have him mainatin contact with you while overseas. Let him tell you what had been happening and how he is adapting in the new country. There is much to be done.

You can email me at [e-mail] for more information on the place he will be going to if you like. I should be able to give you an idea of the environment that he will be staying in and maybe provide you with some details for his knowledge.

Use this to bond the family.

Answer 10

if he stays in public places and doesnt go to strange back alleys he really should be fine. is he staying in the city? or going to the countryside? i went to thailand last winter [only as a sidetrip for 4 days] and stayed in the city. it wasnt dangerous or scary. the people are there are some of the nicest and polite people. yet again, i dont no what the countryside is like.