Help About Subject Concerning Old People?

Question

Hello, I recently had the chance to be acquainted with an 83 year old person. His health condition prohibits him from walking for long periods, and even standing for a short length of time causes him discomfort. He uses a cane when walking, and he walks at a snail's pace. He can see, but not very well. He is very lonely, has no other relatives to visit him, is often low in spirits, and is currently confined to the quarters of the Jesuit community where he is a retired priest.
I plan to visit him often in the future, and would also like to cheer him up. So my question is this, how do I cheer up a person such as my friend here? Is there anything I can do to at least drag him out of the monotonous life he's living? He's no crank, that's one of his qualities. Last week I went there, we mostly ran out of topics to talk about, and it got embarrassing. We can't talk about the same things over and over everytime I go there, that's for sure. Guys, I need your help, any suggestions?

Answer 1

Hi Robert,
First, this is truly a remarkable and wonderful thing you do. I will try to suggest a few things but first of all I'd like to say it is OK to just sit and be silent with someone. We can never under estimate the power or our presence. That in itself is most comforting when our physical faculties fail us. Consider a mother and sick child, spouse and sick partner, etc. In "The Little Prince" (St Eupury) shows clearly that sheer presence "tames the other".
Besides that, although, older people sometimes cannot be active it does not mean they do not like to see it others active; so do not be afraid to talk even if there is not much response. It takes a bit of effort but when you begin to stop expecting an answer it is amazing how you can keep talking about different things. (Just be sensitive to when they may have had enough) Sound and activity are frequently enough, it is why animals are generally such wonderful companions fo the elderly.
Postive active things that can be done always depend on the persons disposition at the time. Some thing many enjoy and are still capable of getting involved with are games, card games, chess, checkers, bingo, etc. When they tire offer to just read to them. Over several visits entire books can be shared and discussed. Books are far more active than watching TV. They probably do too much of that already. Introduce audio books (Books on DVD. If they are not unfamiliar with these then they become something they can continue when you are not available.). Maybe while they listen you can offer to do certain small chores for them, wash dishes, make a bed, clean a book shelf, tidy a desk, or prepare snack, lunch, or cup of tea. (Always be sure your have their permission) If a wheelchair is available then many things are possible; anything from a ride down the corridor, in the garden or to the local shopping center.
Ordinary conversation after a short time does become tiring for the elderly and so if you come to feel really welcome it will take some postive, creative thinking to remain productive while visiting.
Getting to know them and feel comfortable may take some time and several visits. A wonderful book that details acquainting yourself with and older, limited or totally incapable person is "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom.
Hope this helps and good luck. You will be blessed a hundredfold in untold ways by such a human, friendly activiity. BobG

Answer 2

first of all, does he need cheering up, and what do u mean by drag him out of monotonous living??? hes bloody 83 years old, what did u expect? there is always something to talk about with someone that age. hes had a long life full of experiences. and there are many things to do that do not require extensive walking or standing. u need to use yur resources at hand, the biggy being the net, since yuv asked the question online u must have access to it, im sure u can find lots to do if u use yur imagination

Answer 3

I think it's commendable what you're doing. Most older people love to talk about the "good old days". You may have to ask some questions to get him started. Older folks tend to think that younger people don't want to hear their stories. This comes from conditioning, because, unfortunately, that's how most younger people react to their reminiscing. And sometimes, it's just good to be in the same room with someone, so if he's not talkative, that's OK. Keeping him company doesn't always mean a lengthy conversation. Sometimes, it's just being there. Keep up the good work!

Answer 4

He may be quite happy just as he is. I mean no disrespect to you, but the older one get's the less many things that we take for granted as younger folks mean far less. This guy may be more than happy just passing his time as he is. If there's anything, ask him if he'd be interested in a computer and the internet. Then pick up a cheapo used system, set the screen for huge fonts, and show him the wonders of the internet. That's something that can be endless fun with little physical strain.

Answer 5

Just because he's lonely doesn't mean he's bored.

Why do you have to talk? Just do stuff around the house for him, or sit and watch movies.

Or find out something he can do well that he could teach you. Like classical music theory or something.

Or maybe you could get him to tell his life story on tape. Many oldsters won't, because they don't like to wallow. But if he wouldn't mind, the two of you could write a nice book together.
.

Answer 6

If he's a priest, he probably likes the bible. Since he cannot see very well, maybe you could read a little to him. This would open up a whole nother topic to talk about.

Answer 7

Read to him even parts of the newspaper & then discuss it You are wonderful to visit him GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH

Answer 8

I would suggest that you ask him what he would like to do that he needs someone to help him with. If he has no suggestions, ask him if he would like you to read aloud to him since he can't see well. He could suggest what types of things to read to him.