Is it better to have a live in or a live out housekpper/cook/nanny?

Question

I am trying to decide is it better to get a live in house keeper/cook/help with school age kids or a live out a few times a week..
My husband who our marriage is just terrible will be with her all day while I am at work and I have a few more fears..
what if she:
steals things does not work out .
Have trouble getting her out of my house
has an affair with my husband
kidsnapps my children
abuses my children
lazy and have conflicts with her being dependable.
I really need some extra help as I am a professional person who is the only breadwinner (husband is hopeless-one of my long term goals) and all the household is on my shoulders.

affects my job proformance and I need a mental break-I can not afford a full time live out person-maybe a partime live out help but live in would be more affordable.

Have you had any experience or heard any good or bad exeriences with live in housekeeper/nanny?
is my fears wacked out or vaild....

Answer 1

if your husband is not working then i don't see why you need a housekeeper/nanny/cook at all....sounds like he fits the bill...if however he works from home, that's different, i think someone part time would be better for your state of mind.....which brings me to this.......it sounds like you have an awful lot of issues and perhaps would benefit from either one on one or marital counselling? just a thought. But what I am really sensing from all of this is hubby is just not doing anything so I would put him to task or throw him out....I know...easier said then done....good luck!

Answer 2

Some housekeepers may have their own preferences - they may wish to live in, or live out. Make a list of the pros and cons of a live in housekeeper and a live out housekeeper. Consider this list with your husband (he will be at home with this housekeeper most of the time, not you)

It's normal to be a little overwhelmed but most housekeepers will just do their job. As for the having an affair with your husband part, this could happen anywhere if you think about it - you could go to work and have an affair with your co-worker(s) as well. It all revolves around trust. If you're THAT concerned, there are also male housekeepers/nannies out there as well.

Meet with her first. Don't hire anybody without meeting them first.

If your husband will be home with her, why are you so worried that your children will be kidnapped or abused? After hiring and waiting a week or two, ask your husband his general impression of this new housekeeper and any concerns he may have.

Answer 3

I am no expert on this, but you need to do background checks. I have never thought that having a live in one was a good idea because the children get confused as to who their parents are. You want her to be off the minute you walk in the door. She can do the house work and when you are going to be gone from the home she can be the nanny, but when you are at home, there is no better people to care for the children than you.

Answer 4

i would first of all get out of the marriage if it is "horrible"if you are the only breadwinner then you know that you can do it alone!if the nanny has an affair with your husband what do you have to lose except a worthless husband if that is really what he is!!i personally wouldn't like another female living in my home! go through an agency that meets your needs with a nanny that leaves at nite!!

Answer 5

No, your fears are not wacked out at all. They are valid. You are a mother, wife, and professional who is living like a single mother of 4 children. I don't know how many children you have but, just add one for the hubby, lol.
I wish I could come because I would be perfect for the job and none of those bad things would happen but, I don't think my hubby of 30 years would let me go, lol. I cleaned houses for 40 years (I'm not old yet), cooked for people, and love to take care of people so, that they can go out in the world and do their thing. I like to be at home, in the background, quietly making sure everything runs smoothly. For fun, my yuppy city friends named me an "Executive Careperson". I actually put that on a form once and BOY did I get treated differently than had I put "Housewife", lol. I am telling you this personal stuff so that you know what kind of character, values, and way of thinking to look for when interviewing someone. Look for someone who is genuine, too.
After you explain to them what you want done, don't go around nagging and bossing them or acting better than them. You see, they will listen the first time, realize the situation, and being profesionals themselves, know exactly how you want the show to go. You may not realize it but, they are taking care of your personal needs, too. That's why they are "care givers"...because they care.
If she is a practicing religious person, she will follow the 10 Commandments (or equalivant) and not steal, screw, hurt, or harm your family. Don't get some religious nut, tho. That's not what I mean.
Get someone in their late 40's, early 50's. They ain't gonna screw ANYBODY, lol! They are more grandmotherly and wise.
Make sure their health is pretty good except for the normal stuff women of that age get. I retired because I got Arthritis and just couldn't move anymore and altho I didn't show it, when I vaccuumed it just killed me. I could barely move sometimes when I got home (altho their house looked perfect) and was also hurt because I would hear a hubby (or such) say behind me, "She sure is slow!". Don't ever say something like that and don't talk like they are a dog who can't hear or understand what was just said. So, I ended up retiring from what I had done all my life, altho I loved doing it;... because of Arthritis. That was right when the last child of mine went off to college and I felt so alone, lazy, and well, bad case of "empty nest syndrome". Now, 6 years later, I just pretty much do anything I want, whenever I want. (poor me, going to Puerto Aventuras for 2 weeks in March to fish, snorkle, rainforest, Mian Ruins).
Don't get someone who says they clean 3 or 5 or 8 house a day. We call them "dusters". Their vaccuums make noise, but ya gotta actually push it until the dirt is gone, and move furniture. They spray to make it smell clean, but, don't actually clean anything. They are usually tweekers, doing Meth, etc. to have the energy to do so many houses in one day. They do all the bad stuff you fear. You can't always tell someone on that crap.
I think you should start out with someone coming in once a week to do a deep clean. It should take them about 8 hours. Leave them lunch, what they like to drink, and what cleaning supplies THEY like to use. Leave a list the first time if you want and wish them well. When they come back you can leave a note asking them to do some extra, once in awhile thing, if ya want like clean out the garage (lol), tip for that. They should automatically clean out fridge, freezer, under beds, laundry, etc. Clean is clean and that's that. They can prep or start dinner, snacks for kids, etc.
Well, this is my longest answer EVER. Hope it helps. Check out my "blast" on my 360 page. Adios and good luck, dear. GREAT! Spellcheck is out today. Oh well, I'm only a maid; just kidding, bad joke, couldn't help it, LOL!.