I need therapy or anger management, or a way to talk to my g/f.?

Question

I work alot and always come home tired to my live in girlfriend. Well she loves attention just liek any girl but sometimes i dont want to come home and cuddle. i want to relax and mellow out from a stressfull day. She stresses out and break down right away cause she does suffer from depression. Me being a guy thats seen manic depression and bipolar disorder should be able to cater to her but sometimes i cant. We argue if im not in the mood for sex. If i dont want to cuddle. If im doing something else and she hasnt seen me she gets upset. So everything leads to an arguement and she starts hitting me and throwing things. Weve been together for 11 months and the first months she threw a coke bottle at me and i didnt anything. I tend to yell at ehr but never touch her. She loves to slap me if things arent her way. today i was to get up early for work and i was working on a friends car till 1 am she wakes me up at 5 and starts argueing with me, she slapped me and i slapped her back.

Answer 1

You need to get out that insane relationship with that insane woman....now before someone gets hurt and/or arrested.

Answer 2

Congratulations on knowing that you are in a dangerous and sick relationship and asking for help.However, people online are not the answer. You need to recognize that your girlfriend is abusive because she is mentally ill. She needs a doctor and she needs medications for her manic depression. Start there. Get her the help she needs and make sure she stays on the meds. And you should get into anger management classes because you know you should never strike her back. That makes you an abuser, too. If your gf cannot get control of her mood swings, you need to move away from each other. This relationship cannot improve if you don't both do what you can to make it right. You cannot continue to love someone who won't help themselves and it looks like she isn't doing her best right now. Waking you at 5AM and arguing with you is not sane.

Answer 3

U have to be fool to stay with someone who u recognize has those types of problems. I mean be real, no one has the right to just hit someone else regardless of how mad they may be or whether they are women. Of course u would not be wrong for hitting her back to get her off of u but if u can see that it's a regular thing why even wait around and put yourself in the position where u have to hit someone back? Just move on. She sounds way to possessive and needy.

Answer 4

I think this is definitely an unhealthy and unhappy relationship you find yourself in. You need to sit down with her and tell her in a calm way that you two need to talk about some of the issues. You should stop hitting each other especially at 5 am? I mean that would give anyone headache. Please try to talk to her and if not, sit down and write her a letter, explain to her that you care for her and you love her but you have other responsibilities in your life and make her tell you her side. Tell her that you understand that she might feel neglected at times but you are not doing it intentionaly to hurt her, you just need some time to relax, to unwind, to chill out, to have time alone with your friends. If she loves you, she will accept it and understand it. Maybe cook her a nice dinner, don't forget to pay attention to the small details. Women love that. It looks like she feels neglected and you feel unappreciated. But hitting each other is not the way to communicate.

Answer 5

First off, hitting is abuse. Period. So is emotional manipulation. Depression is NOT an excuse to abuse someone. Sometimes the abusee can find themselves striking back by taking on like behavior. That leads to disaster and one or both of you end up in jail. I've lived it. GET OUT NOW. GET HELP NOW. YOU need to deal with the issues that make YOU feel that YOU deserve to be treated like this. Visit www.batteredmenshelpline.org to start yourself on the road to healthy relationships. You cannot fix her, but you CAN fix YOU. Stay alive. Stay out of jail. GET HELP.

Answer 6

The first month she threw a coke bottle at you, should have been your first "red" flag. There is NEVER a time when it is right to hit another individual. She needs helps and you need to get away from her. NOW. There is no future in this relationship.

Answer 7

I think that your girlfriend needs the help. Get her to a doctor and on some medicine to stop her uncontrollable behaviour. The people I know that have this these type of problems are on medication and they do quite well in relationships. You seem to be a very caring person to put up with this from your girlfriend. That is quite good of you. God Bless both of you.......

Answer 8

Slapping/hitting/being physical is never ever a legitimate option for her or for you. It is possible to find new ways to communicate, but you really have to be committed to that outcome. You have to make the decision to absolutely refuse to participate in such negative interactions. Otherwise, end it now.

Answer 9

Boss Man/ I'm mcu older than you? And have been through the ringer. women want control She's gripin', cause she wants to control you. Love it or leave it. It ain't goin away. But hold off on the Physical Violence. That never solves anything.

Answer 10

Wow, I think that maybe she needs to see what it is like to have to come home to a nagging gf after a stressful day at work. She needs to get some medication or do somthing about her anger.

Answer 11

This is not a healthy relationship. You both need therapy or anger management immediately, if you want this relationship 2 work out.