Problem with in-laws!?

Question

Now dont get me wrong, I am not one of those typical narrow minded people who try to find fault with in-laws. BUT my husbands parents are really bugging me. My husband does not understadn this as he thinks Im being to sensitive and that his parents "really do a lot for me". But I feel that they dont like me and that they try to ignore my presence. He is their only child as his brother passed away sometime back. Now my husbands parents expect him to spend all his time looking after his brothers 2 kids. When ever they call or mail - it is always about their family and his brothers family. His mother (although she acts very lovingly to me) is very sarcastic sometimes. They dont want him to go places with me or enjoy things together. Whenever we do something together they make him feel guilty about it. This is really bugging me and I've started to really really hate them. How do I get them to understand that he is my husband and that we need to have our own life?

Answer 1

Move to another part of the world!

Answer 2

Your husband's parents are hanging on to your husband because they are afraid they will lose him also. But then sometimes in-laws can just be strange. They treat you sweet to your face and behind your back they try to ruin what you have. Get your husband to see how they feel about you (it won't be easy) and have him tell his parents that he needs to spend time with you also. He shouldn't have to take care of his brothers kids. When people lay a guilt trip on someone it makes it really hard. He can still be there for everybody but you should come first.

Answer 3

No problem, Just give attention on the brothers kids as they r now alone, and ur in laws wants that u should pay attention on them, So, just for the sake of them and humanity pay a little attention to them and care a little for them, Ur inlaws will be happy enough and u too will have no problem with them thern upon, Regarding enjoying personal life enjoy a lot, there will be no problem in it, but ur inlaws wants that as they have lost one son the other must survuve safely, as they think he is the only person in the family who could look after them as well as the two kids of his brother.
Just put yourself in thier situation and think twice.
I hope u will be a little bit convinced.
THANKS

Answer 4

now that he is married to you , you should come first "but" family is very important to him and you two need to find a way to balance family and marriage. he needs to be able to be a part of his brothers children life. as for his parents they brought him into the world, you need to talk with his parents, really his mother and let her know that you both want the same thing, to make and keep your husband happy. how can we find a way to do, and still be together as a family. you going to have to find a way to work together as a family. there 's more i can say but you will have to see it for yourself.

Answer 5

if you already feel like they dont like you i wouldnt suggest confronting them about this, i think you need to sit down and have a nice long talk with your husband first, he should definitely be on your side of things or at least understand where you are coming from and then he should be the one to take the issue to his parents, not you, i have been fortunate in that i get along great with my husbands family and he gets along great with mine, but ive had quite a few friends who have been in the same situation and it can really take a toll on your marriage if you feel like your husband is not backing you up, so again id say the first step is to talk with your husband, good luck.

Answer 6

One thing to remember, is that you are not going to change your in-laws, the only person you can change is your self. You just stay cordial, to your in-laws, and sister in-law. Now your husband is the person that you need to talk to, Now don't keep nagging him, But one day, take him to dinner, and have a serious talk with him. and see if you and him can air, all of the things, that is not working in your marriage, and tell him, that you love him, and that, he is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and that it is things, that we need to work on together. and then express all of your feelings to him. and see if the two of you can come up with a solution, of how you are going to handle this situation, from now on, and let him know that this is between the two of you to work out. Not him and his parents!

Answer 7

Tell them they said it so they can set the example and not ever do anything with one another and go places together. Tell them you want this written in a promise made out to you by them and they can sign it with their blood. Tell them to just drop it in the mail and make sure it's addressed to you.

Answer 8

You need to talk to your husband it is not his responsibility to care for his brothers children all the time his nephews have a mother and their grandparents and if this is causeing problems in your relationship this needs to be addressed so talk with him about it tell him once in awhile is ok but all the time its not.Do you have kids with him?

Answer 9

if ur living with ur parents in law.. talk to ur husband and tell him u want to have ur flat..u cant stay with ur parents in law as of what they do to u.. and tell ur mother in law that her son is already grow and have own family.. about the kids tell her that ur husband dont have much time about it and u care for them too but not always u will be with them.

Answer 10

Tell them to their faces that you are not going any where and they can get to liking that or else. They should be glad he found someone and he's not alone. People are wierd trying to run their grown kids lives.