Mx BF says he adores me and loves me alone, but he has been spending less time alone with me lately, and he doesn't seem to think this is a porblem. I am thinking about leaving him if this behaviour continues as I am sick of being 'single' even though we live together. He started a new job and has been working at least 12 hours a day and is exhausted a lot of the time. He says it is stress that is making him feel like he needs more time alone, but I just don't get it! Can someone please give me some explanations? Should I just pack and leave one day? I am so confused.. Actions speak louder than words don't they? What should I do?
2007-02-25 01:24:56 · 19 answers · asked by Leeza 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Excuse me! I am not selfish, I moved countries for this guy! So I don't care what you would think. I am NOT selfish, I left my family and friends for him and want him to spend at least 20 minutes a day with me as I have no one else here! That is not selfish!!!!!
2007-02-25 01:46:22 · update #1
Hiya babe
I don't think your selfish, you got with this guy, spent alot of time together in the beginning and now all of a sudden he has this new job, and is always tired - I totally understand where your coming from.
I believe he is genuinely tired, maybe when he gets in from work, you could cook him a meal, run him a bath, dress sexy so he notices you more and WANTS to spend time with you. If you can show him you appreciate him , rather than be mad or upset that he doesn't spend as much time with you , then he will appreciate that alot more & come back out of his shell & be with you again.
I am sure he will get used to the new job, longer hours etc, and the tiredness will soon go away - as he gets used to it.
Don't pack your bags, remember the good times you two have had together, smile - and do the above, then if all else fails in a few weeks then let him go, at least then you can honestly say you gave it your all.
xxxx
2007-02-25 03:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by Tamara 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take up a new interest so you won't be on your own so much. 12 hours a day is really tiring, and nagging as soon as he gets home will make him more stressed. Why not surprise him with a romantic meal to show him how much you care. Find out when he does have time off and arrange a little break together.
The most successful men have started out by working long hours, and it really helps with a supportive partner. Give it time to see how he responds to your support before making a rash decision.
2007-02-25 10:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Thia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is there somewhere you can go for a couple of days so you scare him into thinking that you will actually leave and its not just empty threats? it sounds as if he's the one who is selfish if he cannot see how this is hurting you, i think he needs a good kick up the bum. Maybe you should enrol on a college course or do some volunteer work so you can meet new people, and get a life of your own away from him, and maybe then he'll start appreciating you more then too. Keep smiling and good luck to you..x
2007-02-25 10:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by sausagejockey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same situation. I think the guys expects us to be supportive and understanding. It's not a bad thing to do. But I think if you really cannot take it anymore, then you should end it. Because unless you are a very patient person, you can end up being more confused and more unhappy. I believe that you cannot force a guy to do anything, whether it's spending time with you or getting marrtied. The choice is yours to choose, to wait ot just leave. Best of luck either way.
2007-02-25 09:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by chardonnayormerlot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you make this an issue then it will split you up. My husband prefers to de-stress alone for a while after work and i understand and respect that. Like you I never used to and used to get ratty and take it personally. Don't take it personally as he's assured you he adores you.
Why not suggest going for a walk together to de-stress? we do this as we are both in stressful jobs.
Packing your bags seems extreme but only you can decide where you go from here.
I don't think he has another girlfriend.
2007-02-25 09:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi..well i think its not a problem in which he doesnt love u..more that he doesnt understand how it is affecting u. I think you should be more supportive of his decisions but should not neglect ur needs as well. The best solution would be to make sure u find some time to discuss the problem together..tell him how u feel and how serious the situation is but make sure he knows that u are ready to support him when he needs u. Remind him that communication is the best key in a healthy relationship...Goodluck!
2007-02-25 09:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cant make anyone do anything. What can you do to spend more time with him? Maybe you need time for you too, take advantage of the time hes not around and do things that wouldnt involve him. Maybe then he will miss you and want to do those things with you. The fact that you would concider leaving might say you dont care to be with him much.
2007-02-25 09:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by g-na 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well...you could do that at least try to and see his reaction...because this is a problem, maybe he doesn't realize that but in a couple there have to be 2 right? you can't name a couple just one person so you must do something about it ...i had the same problem and i solved it by leaving ...away from him and his way of being so right in everything...we arrived in a point when we only see each other once at 2 weeks...so no thanks...what for? think well and take the right decision for you ...not for him
2007-02-25 09:35:22 · answer #8 · answered by lonely 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say give him a bit of space sort through his issue, working 12 hours shift can and will make him very tired. Stress can make me hide myself to the world.
2007-02-25 09:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by MJane21 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
working 12 hours a day
sleep 8 hours
only 4 hours left to wind down see you etc meals travel
wait till new job settles down and new routine develops
i wouldnt want you /your just selfish and intolerant i think //he should dump you
2007-02-25 09:30:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋