Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. I called you at work just to see if you wanted to have lunch (you know, maybe try to reconnect) and your boss told me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
Your Ex-Husband
P. S. Don't bother trying to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning ... and your silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten mill ion dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So Take care.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free
P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
2007-02-25 01:06:07 · 25 answers · asked by Marmylade 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
OMG!!! Payback is such a b*tch!!!
2007-02-25 01:22:01 · answer #1 · answered by Doll 101 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too good to be true!
For the winning wife.
However the whining ex-hubby has only start his cringing crying!
Nice family, however!
And to think, seven is a lucky number!
2007-02-25 01:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by klaartedubois 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
8 Kids joke - funny Little Bobby kidnapping jesuses mother - hilarious Santa & Banta 1 & 2 - sucked father joke - ehh going to the sun - funny 9 children judge joke - not funny
2016-03-28 23:40:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God that was funny but so sad as well. I am the fun of the girl though, the guy is kind of selfish. I like the story.
2007-02-25 03:35:03 · answer #4 · answered by Salaama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Serendipity!
2007-02-25 01:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by kick it 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha LOVE IT!!!!
The woman always wins in the end... :)
2007-02-25 01:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by ..rae..♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL! Hilarious!
2007-02-25 01:15:02 · answer #7 · answered by Lori 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
excellent 1. i loved it.
2007-02-25 01:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LoL. Good one.
2007-02-25 02:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by Melisa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg thats friggin hysterical........lmaoooooooo y cant that happen to me!!!..the winning of 10M
2007-02-25 01:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG>>>>way too funny HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
2007-02-25 01:40:32 · answer #11 · answered by whiskeygirljen75 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋