got any good yo momma jokes?

Question

best 4 advances then goes to best answeer whoever i pick

Answer 1

Your Momma's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.
Your Momma's so old, her birth certificate says "Expired".
Your Momma's so old, she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Your Momma's so old, she waited tables at the Last Supper.
Your Momma's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
When your Momma was born, the doctor slapped her parents.
Your Momma smells so bad, SpeedStick slowed down and stopped.
Your Momma's glasses are so thick, that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
Your Momma's so dumb, she failed a survey.
Your Momma's so dumb, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Your Momma's so dumb, she sits on the tv and watches the couch.
Your Momma's so ugly, she goes in a strip-joint and they pay her to keep her clothes on.
Your Momma's so ugly, she uses a line of makeup called "Why Bother".
Your Momma's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
Your Momma's so ugly, they put her face on a box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Your Momma's so ugly, when she walks into a bank they turn off the cameras.
Your Momma's so fat, her shadow weighs a hundred pounds.
Your Momma's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on her Aspirin.
Your Momma's blood type is Ragu.
(Your Momma's so fat, her blood type is Ragu).
Your Momma's bellybutton doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, she spits butter!
Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, I can't believe its not butter!
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ,"Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "
Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!
Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"
Yo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo momma is so fat her waist size is equator!
Yo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!
Yo momma so fat she's on both side of the family.
Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!
Yo momma so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ole butt over!
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
Yo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.
Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!"
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn."
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please."
Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo.
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!
Yo momma so stupid, she thought, "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was, "Illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.
Yo momma so poor, she bounces food stamps!!
Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box!
Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
Yo Momma so poor she can't afford the o or the r.
Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."
Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
Yo Momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.
Yo Momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps.
Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo Momma so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo Momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Answer 2

1.) Yo momma so fat that, when she fell on the ground I didn't want to laugh, but the ground was crackin' up!
2.) Yo momma so dumb that when I said Christmas was right around the corner, she went looking for it!
3.) Yo momma so big that when she ordered a water bed, they just laid a blanket on the Pacific Ocean.
4.) Yo momma so poor that when I saw her kicking a can in the street, I asked her what she was doin and she said she was moving!
5.) Yo momma so big that when I said it was chilly outside she went out with a bowl and a spoon asking "Where?"!

Answer 3

yo mommas so fat she washed her clothes in the ocean.
yo mommas so big she beeps when she backs up.
yo mommas so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
yo mommas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!
yo mommas so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!"

hope this helps =]

Answer 4

your momma's teeth so yellow i can't believe it' s not butter
your momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she would sleep
your momma so thick when she stared at a orange juice carton because it said "concentrate"
Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!
Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!

Answer 5

yo momma is so poor that she put a milkshake on layway at mcdonalds