what should i do with the problem i'm having w/ my so called "best friend"?

Question

hi, my name's lauren and i have a so called "bestfriend". we study in the same school and we're both in the 8th grade right now. we’re supposedly bffs since we were in the 2d grade, but now, i’m starting to have problems w/ our friendship. she started to become closer w/ other people, and sad to say, she eventually hung out w/ them and started to ignore me. we talked less as days went by, and we shared lesser secrets to each other. it seems like she doesn’t treat me as her best friend anymore, and i’m extremely hurt and depressed. a part of me wants to stay but a part of me also wants to leave her. if i stay, these problems would seem to happen again and again and i'm scared. what should i do? should i leave her? and find someone else to be my best friend? or what? please help me..

Answer 1

that happened to me last year! we were best friends and then she went on to someone else. i was really hurt n i told all my friends at school they coludnt beleive she did that either, me and myex- best friend fell out for aaagggggggessssssssssss, but when we made up she and her best friend fell out, then she moved on to someone else, i realised it was just what she did, but then every 1 started to say, 'oh she changes her best friend more than she changes her underware!' then she realised what she was doing. she had a massive fall out with her best friend at that time, and she moved on back to me! when her and her last best friend made up she decided she wouldnt have a best friend so we are all best friends now! any way im just rambeling on but if it was anything like my experiance its just a passing craze! i think you should not find another BEST friend but find some good friends -- so if yo 2 want to be best friends again your not hurting any body. it will hurt at first but you will move on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P good luck!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You don't have to dump the friendship, but you don't have to stand there waiting around for her either. You may need to realize that she is changing, it will happen to you to. But don't put all of your friendship needs on her. Make some new friends yourself. Find things to do that don't involve her in anyway. You'll still see each other but when you do you won't be angry at her for ignoring you because you will have been busy too.

The most important thing to remember is that over the next few years you will go through more changes than you can even imagine right now. Let yourself be open to learning new things and meeting new people. Remember that this is just a few short years compared to the rest of your life. I'm sure it seems that I'm giving advice you didn't ask for but I think it's advice I wish someone had given me when I was your age.

Answer 3

You do not have to "leave" her. Talk to other people and still talk to her. Sometimes people just grow apart. I am not saying that that is what is happening. Do not be depressed she is still your friend I would bet on it. Just keep learning away at school and do not get tied up in the social issues. You have a long life ahead and 1,000 of new people to met. Honesty is my best advise. Casually ask her if you could talk to her and just be polite sincere and honest to her about your feelings. Do not force her into a corner with ultimatums. (you should do this or that stuff) There more girls out there that want to be your friend than you even know. So don't worry and be happy, friend....

Answer 4

i'm no longer addicted to porn, nor am I in a relationship, yet when I were in a relationship i'd haven't any problem with my significant different masturbating to whomever she wanted see you later as she would not cheat on me. I easily do not even see the position the problem is the following. and because Twilight is largely softcore porn it would in effortless words be installation that she use it for that, i'm able to't truly see it being a lot reliable for some thing else.

Answer 5

"if i stay, these problems would seem to happen again and again and i'm scared"

the answer is in your question.

"and sad to say, she eventually hung out w/ them and started to ignore me. we talked less as days went by, and we shared lesser secrets to each other. it seems like she doesn’t treat me as her best friend anymore, and i’m extremely hurt and depressed. a part of me wants to stay but a part of me also wants to leave her".

read your question again.
+
things are clear she is desertig you, and you better accept it.
time will heal and solve your mental agony and you will find peace and happiness, in the days to come.
wish you good luck.

Answer 6

Hi lauren!!!:) I have a so called best friend too. Her name is Tiffany, we have been friends since fourth grade. And in the fourth grade we told each other we were ganna be friends till the end. But when she moved, her whole personality changed. I don't feel comfortable talking to her about my personal life, cuz i DON'T KNOW who she is anymore. Its been like that everyday now. I feel like we don't have too much in common, and I learned so much about her.
So just talk to your friend, and tell her how you feel. Let her know you've been feeling depressed and left out, as if your friendship is changing. Theres nothing better then just having a talk with your friend. It helps your friendship become stronger. And she may understand you.Well, I hope things turn out good with you and your friend bye!!

Answer 7

i think that you should try to talk to her tell her that she is hurting you emotionally. explain to her that if she can't treat you the same even when she is around other people that she dont deserve to be your friend. she gots to realize that you were her bestfriend first. you were the one person she would share her secrets with. your were the one that she could talk to. she had no right just to blow you off like that. you should make her realize that she is losing or has already lost one of her bestfriends. you can do that by telling her that every since we were little we were best friends and we always promised to be bestfriends. and also tell her that she broke that promise. tell her how she hurt you inside. tell her that if she totally wants to ingnore you and doenet want to be your friend you can say fine. it is your loss. you are missing out on a friend that was good to you.

Answer 8

There are a couple of things you can do here.
1) pull her off to a side and ask her "Whats Up?"
2)ask if you can hang out too?
if neither of this works,you might want to find a new friend.start a new friendshipp and do things differently than what you did w/ the 1st.
Don't ever forget the 1st friend and the relationship you had.maybe later she will see what she has done.Always forgive her and find a new2 friend.
Good Luck.

Answer 9

I have had a lot of experiences in this area and I can advise you. Your life will be better as soon as you come to realise these subtle truths:

1. You are "really" on your own in the world - no body cares about you as much as you do. Take charge for your success in every area of yourlife yourself. This is in no way to imply you should be a loner; but just realise that even with all these friends, there is a limit to what they can do for you (and vice versa), including in terms of the social company itself, so have this at the back of ur mind.
2. People grow apart. After high school, my best friend went on to howard uni(Washington DC) and i was left back in nigeria for a year before coming to study in the UK! Obviously, I had to make new friends within that one year. i hence came to the uk with my mates who soon i lost contact with and i had to make new friends yet again! (despite my efforts to keep in touch). This leads me to the following conclusions:
a.) Friends come and go
b.) No body really needs an old friend

3.) Finally, there are numerous cases of backstabbing or betrayal involving best or close friends. in my own life, the solution i have found to this problem is to get a best friend who is either:
i.) well out of my circle such that there is no issue of contention eg. girls, greed etc.
ii) several years older than me such that he is already successful and hence can get jealous of me (at least lower probability).

These have worked for me!

GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

I think the best thing for you to do is to pull her aside one day and ask her do she know that what she's doing is affecting you and let her know what she's doing because she may not be realizing that she's doing it until you tell her and after you tell her if she's still doing it then it may be time to drop her like a bad habit but don't do her the same way she's doing to her just politely go up to her and let her know that you think it would be best if you and her stop being friends and let her know why.