do you feel there was a commitment on both parties end when my husband was having an affair?

Question

my husband had an affair only after 2 mths we were married, i didn't find out until after about 10 mths into it. he got caught i started checking the cellphone bills, he was calling her everyday all hours of night sometimes 30 times a day,he says they only had sex 3 times bs.he was looking for no commitment just sex bs,it sounds to me there was more than just sex also emotions, how could he love me and knew this would devastate me, there were no signs he was cheating she found out he was married about 3 mths into it didn't care she called him just as much but he pursued her from the day he met her he started calling everyday until they had sex only after talking for a week he says he tried to tell her he couldn't do this anymore after a period of time she told him you are not going to quit calling me or seeing me, sounds to me they were both committed to each other alot more than just sex.maybe thats why i thought we were so happy it was her making him happy it's over now but i am sic

Answer 1

If it took you 10 months to find out,how long is it going to take you to leave the Loser? He didn't love you when you got married why would he love you now? Go! Get out. it won't get better. Save yourself the headache .

Answer 2

First of all your husband was not truley commited to you when he was having this affair especiallyonly 2 months into the marriage. You may have been commited to the marriage at the time but he was not. He did not truley love you the right way that a husband should love his wife if he did this to you and to the marrriage. When you really love someone you do not want to hurt or betray them this way. He was not commited to her either he was just wanting to be with her for the sex and booty calls. Have you been to counseling to help you get past the pain of all of this and I also feel that you both could use marriage counseling and help because if you dont he just may do this to you again someday. Is he truley sorry and remoresful for what he has done to you and the marriage?

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Answer 3

He cheated on you he could not have loved you at all when a man says i do its to you know one else, he lied and decieved you you have to move on and get him out of your life he continued this even after you were married that says alot about your relationship i would kick him to the curb sounds like they deserve each other, he will cheat on the other woman when something better comes , and file for a divorce so good luck.

Answer 4

It is very bad on your husband's part. He should not have had such relationship with other. girl. Now coming to your quest ion. it is clear that they are both very much involved in this relationship and they are doing sex which is a proof that the girl and your husband have mutually committed for all times to come. I must advise you that you should not compromise with this situation. You meet the girl and ask her to quit your hubby. If there is no change then you must go for divorce as it is of no use to spend you life with this infidel husband.

Answer 5

men are rats. my husband had an affair after five years and two kids. he denied it at first saying it was my imagination.a friend of my mine called when she saw them together and i confronted both of them. she was also married with kids so wouldnt admit it in front of other people... saying that it was a misunderstanding that they were just friends. il left feeling degraded and mortified for being so suspicious. however, i too checked his phone and the messages passed between them devasted me. she was declaring her love for him asking him to leave me and be with her her..he told her he had to wait as kids needed him!!! and also that i wouldnt be able to manage without him!! she phoned me at home so i put her on speaker and asked her to listen. i asked him(while she listened)if he wanted to leave and if he wanted to be with her. he said there was no way he was leaving he loved me not her, she was besotted with him etc all her fault.... he begged me to forgive him and promised never to contact hr again.i didnt say anything just handed him the phone. i dont know what she said to him as he took it off speaker all i know is he said goodbye dont call me to her.we tried to get back on track after that but even now i dont completely trust him. i hate the way i feel yet he thinks i should just forget it.i dont believe she meant as much to him as he did to her but it hurts like hell.your husband sounds as if he was trying to prove even when married he can get someone else.men are selfish creatures really.im still here cos of my kids.hes much nicer to me that hes ever been but it will never be the same again.dont think your husband was made happy by her... she was just a distraction, he was probably flattered by the attention.she was a bit on the side who wanted more than he was willing to give. if you're still together that must go for something. good luck and take care xx

Answer 6

I'm sorry this happened to you. I want you to know that his cheating is not a reflection on you or your relationship. It's his inability to deal with a relationship with fairness and honesty that caused his problems. This is going to hurt for a long time, and there is no "right" way to feel about it, or amount of time to "get over it." You are entitled to feel any way you want to, and you shouldn't feel any pressure to be sane or nice until you are ready. Hang in there.

Answer 7

he cared for her sexually and emotionally, sex can also mean commitment, he did not love u as u loved him, and we are always the last to know when a man cheats, as they know how to hide it well. yes it will hurt u for awhile even if u decided to take him back, u will always wonder when he will do it again to u. if u left him that too will hurt. just give it some time.

Answer 8

First of all I am so sorry this happened to you. I feel there was some type of commitment between them especially since she discovered he is married and they continued. It is obvious he was not committed to YOU...the most important person.

Answer 9

You just asked a very similar question. Wait for an answer!

Answer 10

im a real man and i dont cheat on my girl so what im telling you is real love dosent cheat tell him its you or that homewrecker, it dosent fix it put his sht in the street change locks restraining order mean business.