I have a question about attending funerals. I was wondering about funeral etiquette. I know that it is obligatory for a person to attend the funeral of a close relative. I know some people are able to attend the funeral services of a loved one. My question is what if, for whatever reason, you are unable to attend the funeral of a loved one? Where do you go from there and what are the proper etiquette procedures to use?
2007-02-24 21:32:29 · 6 answers · asked by ? 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You should make every effort to go to the funeral when:
You were close to the deceased.
You are close to an immediate relative of the deceased.
You feel like you need to for yourself...start your own grief process.
But there are lots of reasons why some people just can't make it:
Weather
Bad timing...as in 3 deaths in a month, you probably can't make a third trip or get time off work.
Distance
If you can't go there are other ways to pay your respects.
Attend the wake or visitation, or visit the family's home instead of attending the funeral.
Remember them in your prayers.
Frequent phone calls and emails whenever you can to make sure the family knows you are thinking of them.
Send a sympathy card, it does NOT have to have money in it!
Send flowers to be displayed at the service.
As soon as you can, visit the family, the grave, etc. This is when the family needs you the most, you know...after all the first round of hoopla. Grief takes a lot longer than the excitement lasts and your friends and relatives need your support.
2007-02-24 21:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone else stated that giving a living plant or tree, That is always a nice gesture as most floral arrangements go tot he grave site and are left there. If sending a plant make sure to send it to the residence and not the funeral home.
Also make sure to keep in touch after the funeral.
2007-02-27 12:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by SoSo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to show respect to the next of kin
of the deceased by letting them know right away in person or by phone your condolences
and simply say "I will not be able to attend
services. I have another important commitment
that was planned in advance." A specific
reason given may sometimes result in gossip.
A plant or small tree makes a longer lasting
gift than a floral arrangement in memory of
a loved one, if you are able to. It can be from
your branch of the family sharing cost.
2007-02-24 22:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by LuckyLilTroll2U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my family when my grandfather died some years back. A few of us could not make it for whatever reason. I made it but others were unable to. The proper thing to do is send flowers with a nice note. For my grandmother, some family members gave her gifts. I say follow your heart in this matter but definatly send flowers. Don't forget to be very apologetic too.
2007-02-24 22:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by John S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot attend you should send flowers to the funeral home with a card apologizing for not being there.
2016-03-28 23:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sometimes happens in certain cases. Just apologize to the family members, and let them know why you can't attend. In most cases, if the reason is a good one, they won't think anything about it.
2007-02-24 21:41:50 · answer #6 · answered by cms_38us2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋