Never been in a situation before where I was depended on so much for support... At this time I'm aware this person is on edge and I'm really scared to say the wrong thing and offend that person. HELP!!!
2007-02-24 20:53:18 · 14 answers · asked by guccciprada 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just being there for your friend is all you really can do. Listen when they want to talk about their loss or memories of their loved one, give them your shoulder when they start to cry and just be the concerned friend you obviously are already.
2007-02-24 20:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by MedicineWoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are in such
a terrible situation- so wanting to help your friend, yet possibly feeling helpless as well. As others have said, being there for your friend really means a lot. There are no magic words- just let her know you are there for her 24/7 (if that's possible). Don't say "everything is going to be okay" because it's not. It will take her a long time to heal. Don't say "I understand how you feel" unless you have had this expereince yourself because no one can possibly understand something like this unless they have been there- and it is not the same process for everyone. Express that you are so sorry for her loss. If you have lost a love one you can say you understand the pain associated with loss, but again, you do not understand what she is going through. The fact that you came on here and asked for advice shows that you really are her friend. Understand she may be in shock, she may be angry, she may be in denial of what occured. She may even lash out at you- what is known as displacement -it's not personal). She will need to work it out with time and if it completely interrupts her life for a long time or makes her question her own existance or say someting such as "why bother?" you may suggest that she talk with someone. There are grief counselors out there who specialize in this area. It doesn't mean that she is crazy and she doesn't have to take medication to feel better. (That could be a choice if need be but probably unlikely, unless for the short term treatment of insomnia or a temporary trial of clonopin- it's longer lasting then xanex which can cause bad withdrawels, or valium).
Hang in there- your presence is the best thing you can do. (please excuse the typos- spell check isn't working for me). My best to you and your friend.
2007-02-25 05:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by Doc2b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for the loss. I would request that you just be there as a friend for the friend who has suffered this great loss. Sometimes just being with him/her will be all the comfort the person will need. Sometimes, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. An encourager. You can be praying for this friend on your own as well. Take care.
2007-02-25 05:01:49 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel like you have to say the right thing, the best thing to do is just be there for him/her. I was in the hospital twice this last year, I'm not even 35 yet!! The best support I had was my husband just sitting at my bedside with me, he would watch TV when I would doze off, etc. I was under so many drugs, lol.
Just be there for your friend. I don't remember a lot of what went on but waking up and seeing my husband's smile meant the world to me, it makes me cry right now wishing I could thank him enough for being there for me.
Just be around your friend and do whatever it takes to put a smile on their face for them, someday they will be so appreciative of you......
2007-02-25 05:00:11 · answer #4 · answered by kaliroadrager 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is just being there. Sometimes it isnt about what you say, nothing you say can bring the family member back, but you being there so they dont feel alone and sad means a lot sometimes. Just try to make them smile.
Bring over some funny movies, offer to stay the night, call a lot, etc.
2007-02-25 04:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Interpreted 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing you can say that will help execept maybe that you are there for them if they need you. Come around and make coffee offer to make them dinner or just give them space but personally when I lost my father I would have loved to have a friend stay over and just be there to cuddle me or make coffee or just "be there" . It will be hard for you but it will help your friend and more than likely strengthen your friendship too. But make sure you have someone you can confide in if it all gets too much for you like a parent or another friend.
2007-02-25 05:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by kawasakigpx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to be there for that person. Don't worry about saying the right thing or not, just you being there is a great comfort. You're helping your friend just by being there. x
2007-02-25 04:56:15 · answer #7 · answered by Minniex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend who lost her dad early this year..which sucks because we just got our major exam result and she surprisingly got straight A's..on that day, i didnt know what to say, i was scared that i'll say something wrong and hurt her even more and i have never lost my close ones. in the end, i just sent her a text message to say im very sorry and the next day she came to me and we had a talk.
all you need to do is just say things that'll comfort him/her..like tell her to move on or at least he/she is at a better place..and dont try to push her to hard like force her to get over it..and dont tell her not to be sad..my friend did that and she screamed at him..
anyways, good luck..
2007-02-25 04:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing u can say is "well, he or she is watching u and protecting u from harm, and he or she is in a better place, and that he or she would not want to see you hurting over them the way u r. Thats the best thing u can do. Good luck!!!
2007-02-25 04:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Bandice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do, is to say you're sorry for their loss and ask them if they want to talk.
2007-02-25 04:56:52 · answer #10 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋