Being the dominant one..does anyone have any serious answers re: s and m ? Does it damage a good marriage?

Answer 1

Yes...Once you start anything like that, nothing else will be satisfying again. You may star out with a toy or two, then that gets boring, then you graduate to bigger and more powerful toys, then eventually to S&M. It would be almost impossible to go back to straight sex. The marriage will be tainted from there on out. You can't do that sort of thing forever, in the end it will cause major depression & failure of the marriage. Dont start it & you will never miss it.

Answer 2

It sounds like you've done more investigative work on this than I. ie: dominant vs passive. However, I do believe that once you start down this path you are going to get lost in it. Not in a good way either. Esteems are going to be trashed on both sides. Friendships dissolved, and once this relationship crashes and the divorce that is inevitable happens, YOU are going to be left as the bad person, while your partner gets off as the one that was coerced into this garbage. Your reputation will be tainted, to say the least, and destroyed beyond repair to say the most. Hope you don't live in a small town! If you can't help yourself and this gets out, move! Far far away! You may be able to salvage some sort of life as long as you don't get involved with someone who will eventually run into people that know about this freaky behavior (like your parents, brothers, sisters, Aunts, and Uncles). I would say good luck with this, but really once you start this, you're doomed!