What gives did I marry wrong?? My wife and I are not intimate any more and i’m going crazy
I’m 31 and love sex I have an appetite that I think is very healthy
I like it about once or twice a day and I think most women would kill to have a guy that loves it that much I spoil her rotten and she says i'm the best but she says she has no desire at all we have not been intimate in 10 months is this normal for most women to go long periods without having sex ?
2007-02-24 19:45:21 · 22 answers · asked by colter_bay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am 25, and I have gone through several periods where I had no interest in sex. It sucked for me too, because I didn't know why I wasn't interested. I wanted to be interested, I just wasn't. These spells usually lasted a few weeks to a month. Ten months is a long time to go. Is she gonig through stress, depression, taking any specific meds, not getting enough sleep? There are several things that could make you lose your sex drive. I know for me, when I was taking birth control pills, my libido was completely gone. It took about 6 months after going off of them for it to come back. When I go through a dry spell, my husband will usually offer to do more romantic things to get me in the mood, such as rubbing me with oil, etc. Also, if she is stressed out, you could offer to help her around the house. I've heard it said that the best foreplay is when your husband does the dishes and the laundry. LOL...it's funny, but it's true. The more you help her out in other areas, the more likely she will be to help you out in that area.
Good luck.
2007-02-24 19:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by queenB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 Months?? Are you kidding me? There is something wrong and I would get down to the bottom of this. A. Either your wife is not attracted to you anymore. B She is getting it from someone else.Or C. She just don't have a sexual drive. You must be one good man if you haven't went looking somewhere else. I would hear it if I had to make my boyfriend wait a week. Go to a counselor or make an Dr appt and they can give you a variety of ways to get her sex drive back up to normal. Intimacy is a big part of a marriage.
2007-02-25 03:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what i have seen yes not all woman need sex all the time some woman need emotional love that is satisfing enough for them. But you might wanna try to spice things up buy her a sexy night gown and clean the house for her and plan a dinner for just the two of you where you do nothing but attend to her needs and it might get you lucky also play marvin gaye song lets get it on while you romance it it should help good luck also try talking with her about her feelings it may be a chemical problem she could talk to her Doctor about
2007-02-25 03:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by usher4821 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She could be in a depression. How has she changed since you got married? it could be she needs to see her doctor about it. My husband and I were like that when we were in our early 30's.Sex every day sometimes twice. We are 36 now and still would go every day if we could. typically we like to ML 2-3 X's a week and both sat and sun. some times 2X's on weekend days I had bouts of depression thought and didn't want to be intimate with my hubby and I can tell you right now that "harassing" her is the wrong thing to do it just makes it worse. and I don't know about other women but one of the biggest turn offs for me is when he whips it out and shakes it at me like I'm supposed to just fall on the floor beg for it like a dog. I hate that and it only took him 4 years to figure that out.
2007-02-25 04:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 months is too long. There is something wrong with her. Definitely something wrong. Its not fair to you either. You are married and not allowed to look elsewhere when she is not putting out.
That's like buying a car and not being able to replace the engine or buy a new one when it breaks.
I jokingly told my wife that we should stop having sex for a year to see what else we have in common and she was pissed. She told me the longest she could go would be no more than a month.
Tell your wife to change or you are out of there.
2007-02-25 03:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by Joe B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The thing is woman don't know what they wont . they complain if you give it to them and complain if you don't . The fact of the matter is she sick of you and probably has another guy shes out screwing if shes not giving you any at all that's not normal. Your a man don't wimp down to many woman taking over go out and get what you need why should you be denied
Keep an eye on your savings account before its to late and she ditches you and takes all your belongings
2007-02-25 04:07:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it gets better and better the longer you are married, as the love deepens and grows. You have let this go too long - maybe there are medical issues she is dealing with, or maybe you have to do the dishes more; all things you have to find out and help fix.
2007-02-25 05:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you sound like my husband wanting it multiple times a day...I have conceded and will wake him up by getting on top of him and "doing things to wake his (brain) up by wiggling it for him" and pleasing him this way. This is only once or twice a week, though, but I'm in the mood less than that....
Don't get me wrong, my husband looks great, he has a physical job that keeps him in shape, so I don't have to view the beer belly effect is a bonus for me. I'm just not in the mood for it at the pace that he is, but I love him and I love pleasing him. If it means having great sex to satisfy him, then ok, I will please him that way, but for me, I'm just not in to it as much as he is.......
I would much rather have him hold my hand over dinner, or take me and my son out to a date, but that is just me. He does hold my hand and he does take us out, but that is a lot less than I am intimate with him. I love him back as much as he says he loves me :-)
Anyways, maybe ask your wife what is wrong, maybe there is some distance in your relationship that keeps her from wanting to be intimate with you.....etc. If I ever found out my husband was cheating I would probably stop being intimate forever.....I couldn't handle that again.....Ask her and communicate with her,,,,,find out some sort of agreement to what she likes and what you like. Sex is not about pleasure, its about communicating with each other and pleasing each other first.
ps, when my husband does not work....he treats me like a goddess, rubs my feet, legs, butum, does the number downstairs, etc.....I love this and all he asks for is a kiss back....he does not demand sex for pleasing me. Treat your wife the same, she deserves it sometimes......afterall, who else is going to treat her that way but you, respect your marraige. She is a great person, I know it.
2007-02-25 04:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by kaliroadrager 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 months? No, something is wrong! Did she just have a baby, is she depressed, or has something major caused sever stress? If you answered no to all the above, you may need to start filing for divorce. You both may need to seek professional counseling.
2007-02-25 03:51:02 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes its perfectly normal....it may not be bcoz of u thats she's lost all the desire....but it must be sumthing else...try finding out if she is having a stressful time with sumthing else...are there sum issues u dont noe of n she is stressed abt them...
try understanding her...ur married not only for sex but u have to be there for her on an emotional level too...
all the best
take care
God bless
2007-02-25 03:56:28 · answer #10 · answered by koolnsj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋