I am stong beliver in God and take my vows seriously butI do not believe my God would have me stay in an abusive marriage(physical and mental) In my mind I should have left a long time ago.What is up with you people that keep saying stay at all cost because you made vows?You made a promise to God?
2007-02-24 18:50:13 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's difficult when some thing such as that happens. You took vows with some one you believed loved you and would be there for you, while being kind and loving. Instead you ended up with some who who likes to cause you pain, some one who doesn't show love, but rage and anger. It's like you married Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, there is this whole different person that came out after you were married. He was some one you didn't bargan on getting for a husband.
It is always easy to say to others that they are doing wrong, that they should stay in it their marriage. That you took vows and you must keep them at all costs, as you made a promise to God. But no one has a right to sit in judgment of you except God, he an only he can do that.
Personally I don't believe that God would want that, he is a good/kind and loving god who loves us dearly. I don't see that he would expect you to remain in some thing that is abusive and cruel. My feeling is that people such as this misrepresent them self to you, they know full well that you'd never have married them if they would have shown their true self to you before hand.
I have been there my self with a man who was verbally abusive, and I toiled with the same issues that you are. I know that when I took my vows the Lord could see what was in my heart, that I meant for my marriage to last forever as I loved my husband. I also know that my husband made it impossible for me to keep those vows, his abuse ate any and all feelings that I had for him.
I some times felt as though he didn't want our marriage and that was his way to get out of it, by his being abusive to me. Like he wanted me to be the one to divorce him, like maybe he thought it would keep his own hands clean.
It no longer matters to me as I believe that the Lord God still loves me and I believe that he isn't angry with me. I know that he knew what was in my heart all the way through out my marriage to my husband. He knew that I loved my husband and that I tried every thing that I could and nothing worked to make it right or better.
I don't believe that you should worry about what any one on this earth says. It is not up to them to be your judge or your jury, they have not walked in your shoes to know what it is like. God is the one who will judge all of us when the time comes. He will be the one who judges the ones who sat in judgment of you.
I know that in the bible it say some thing about people judging others. Like no one should judge any one as they also will be judged, but even harder. I can not quote it exactly so I won't even try, but it was some thing like that.
Do not worry so much, get on with your life, keep your faith in God and know that he loves you. He will love you no matter what, as long as you confess your sins and keep trying to do right by him.
May God Bless you and always be with you. Remember you did what you needed to do in order to survive. I'm sorry this is so long, but I pray that it helps you not to worry so much about it.
2007-02-24 20:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No.. Im absolutely sure that He doesnt. dying inside spiritually, mentally is as bad as staying in a relationship that is physically abusive. When you make vows in front of God that you'd be a good wife or husband....and the other is not honoring those vows...He does not expect you to remain in it. It is a shame, and divorce a tough road to overcome. A divorce is as bad as infidelity but it imay be forgiven by measurement of your full lifes works. Even God knows all that occurs in the marriage. He knows what is in your heart always. peace
2007-02-24 19:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a strong believer in God, maybe you need to have a closer look at his teachings and see what he says about it. If you really want someone else to make your decision for you then that would be the best way. Hey, we all have to agree that the best thing in life is being miserable with someone for an interminable time just because God says so. Come on, if you want your relationship to work, find some real strategies to use. If you don't then rip the band-aid fast and let the two of you start the process of building new lives apart. You really should be happy, not miserable and Godly.
2007-02-24 18:57:18 · answer #3 · answered by shes_apples 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to ask myself the same thing. Then I used to say, God do you really expect me to stay with a lying cheating husband?
I asked myself this for years. Finally I decided I didn't give a **** what God thought. I do not believe that I was put on this earth to bow down to a husband who cheated on me and lied nonstop.
After I got divorced I felt so much better. I realized that God didn't intend for me to stay in this marriage. But, how do you get over the death til you part? I don't know. But, my life is better since I got divorced.
2007-02-24 21:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by Karen H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's for the flaky types who leave because they love, but are not infatuated *in love* anymore. Abuse is something you never vowed to take and you should leave or seperate and get your husband some serious counselling. Only a douche would tell you to stay in an abusive relationship.
2007-02-24 18:54:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you suggest to your abusive husband to go see a counsellor together with you? Find out why he's been abusive to you. I agree that God does not want us to stay in a bad marriage. But we can always bring healing to our marriage and it won't be an abusive one for a lifetime if we know the how-to-save-it. You see, God hates divorce. One is not to divorce his/her spouse unless he proves unfaithful. Do not break your vows to God, try to work on the problems rather than opting for a way out.
2007-02-24 19:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by superb2dmax 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am also a strong believer in god, but I think god would understand. I don't believe you should stay in a marriage because of your vows. If you have children you what them to have good roll modern.
2007-02-24 18:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by sassy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ephesians 5:28-30 . If God wanted you to stay in such a marriage he wouldn't have given instruction for man to love his wife. He would have said treat your wife any way you want to for she is required to stay with you through through abuse until death you do part. Leave this sorry excuse of manhood and find someone that treats you the way God intended you to be treated. Remember, God helps those who help themselves.
2007-02-24 19:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they were sick the day the preacher gave the sermon on not judging other people unless you wished to be judged yourself..No I do not believe your God would want you to stay with a person that is physically and emotionally abusing you..I do not believe staying with someone until they kill you from abusing you..is what is meant by until death do we part..
2007-02-24 19:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by noga 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your priest? I ask this because ppl on here are saying leave, leave , leave...and don't know the spiritual repercutions (mispelled) of saying this glibbly. If you are serious about your faith, it is not a matter (as it was NOT for our grand and great grand mothers) of abuse, but a PROMISE made. As a lapsed Catholic (I still believe, but use birth control and don't attend regularly) I will say leave him, but as a Catholic I will say talk to the preist and get counseling...see if you can get an annulment...
Keep in mind this is thinking of the FAITH, my woman's mind says "Kick him in the balls and leave him with nothing"
2007-02-24 19:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by beth l 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋