how to end a relationship?

Question

i live with my bf for 2 years. i'm a full time college student, and right now i do not work. he lost his job 6 months ago, and since than has done absolutely nothing to find a new one. he sleeps till 3pm every day, is not paying his bills/parking tickets, and gladly accepts money from his parents and grandfater (!). i have had numerous conversations with him about his behaviour, but he keeps telling me that things are going to get better SOON. yet, he does nothing to actually make them better. he has no ambition and no plans for the future, when i ask him where he sees himself 5 years from now, he tells me NOT TO WORRY.
i am not stupid and i realize that i do not have any future with him, and that this relationship it it just a waste of time. i want to end it, but the problem is, i still love him a lot and i can't make my self do so. every time i pack my things to move out, he begs me not to go and i unpack again. it it a vicious circle and i need help getting out of it!

i am 21 and he is 26

i already told him million times that i can't do this anymore and i wanna break up, my problem is that i really WANT to believe that things are gonna change and i gove him another chance again and again. how do i stop myself?

Answer 1

just say its over and good bye

Answer 2

it seems that the boy has taken everything very easy and he is lethergic.he knows your weekness and is exploiting that.it will be extremely difficult to spend a whole life with such a fellow who at the age of 26 prefers to be dependent on his parents and that too when he is supposed to bear the responsibility of his girlfriend.you have given him enough time by giving a very soft handling of the problem.one thing you must understand that whatever strong may be the bonding of love between you,only love cannot be the ultimate base of relationship.with the passage of time you will realise that relationship stands more on respect for each other and sharing of responsibility.it is better to leave the boy who has no sense of responsibility at 26.this time you pack up and leave when he is not in house.leave a message for him that if he becomes self supportd within 6 months,you will come back or else he should forget you.if he really loves you,this will give him a jolt and who can say ,within 6 months he may come to your place straight from his new job.this will also be a test of your love for him,to watch if you can still inspire him.if this does not work, better to end the relationship forever.

Answer 3

It is difficult when you live with someone and also when you still love him. However, you need to do what is right for you and your future. Keeping that in mind, and I can tell that you are thinking of those things already...you've given him his chance and he hasn't done anything.

What you need to do is pack up while he is not home and move out. Write him a note that you'll organize a time to meet him to explain what you are doing. You could also just not meet, and leave him a note telling him why you have left.

What you are doing by staying is enabling him. He thinks it is okay. So, pack up your stuff and live life for YOU. You are 21, and this is not the time in your life to be dealing. Your 20s are a huge time of personal growth for you. A time for you to experience school, work, find out about yourself and your friendships. We learn a lot in our 20s, and this guy is holding you back from growth.

When you leave, it'll be for you. However, if he truly wants to be with you, he will know what to do. Sitting on his a** obviously isn't working. He needs to work on himself. Maybe later you two can get back together, but right now, STOP enabling him and START working on you.

My advice...don't say "if you do this...". Let him figure it out for himself. He is a man, he needs to be self aware and do it on his own.

Answer 4

At this point in time you need your friends and family for their support. Take courage and pack up and leave. I believe that if he is a serious man, he will get a job to try to win you back. You just want to watch him at a distance to see how much he respects and loves you. Good-luck.

Answer 5

hi there....even i want to believe things will change for the better..

Let me tell u my view about any relation:
A relation once made can never be ended..but its intensity can be reduced..

Your case is similar...dont stop caring for him or loving him..but u can stop giving excuses...if u plan to move out, do it..give urself and him some time....in the mean time, keep an eye on his progress...show him that u will be there only once he change...then he may change and come looking for u..if he never comes, he was not there wit u at all....move on then!!

Answer 6

girl get out of it, you will only hurt yourself and your GOALS for the future, if he wants to keep you and make you happy he will try for it, do you want to be a working mom, or a SaH mom when y'all get married, he has no future until he decides to get off his sorry butt and does something about it. when you decide to leave don't give in, tell him directly that you will come back (as if) if and when he gets his act together. You're going to run yourself into a ditch with this one. Please girl there are plenty of other men who are nice and friendly, ones who are ambitious, ones with goals. Get those kinds dump this guy. PLEASE, GL!!!

Answer 7

Been there. In 19 yr marriage that was bad fr. day one. He treated my bad and begged me not to leave.
I suggest you not ruin your life. Just move out and don't let him stop you. You will find another. You are not stupid like you said. God Bless You.

Answer 8

just say it plain and simple. i' have no interest in you anymore. i cant contiue to support you. so goodbye forever!!(teehee)

Answer 9

you have to be very blunt.