i love my husband but im noy in love with him, we have been married for 4 years and we have 2 kids together. i am not happy and i really dont want to be with him, how do i get out of this???? PLEASE HELP!!!!
2007-02-24 17:48:02 · 16 answers · asked by kyle_baby_blue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, talk with a counselor...
And believe me when I say that what you are feeling is normal.
Love isn't this huge encompassing thing... it's ebb and flow... it grows, it fades, it grows again....
After you talk with a counselor, talk with your husband. He needs to know how you are feeling too.
Live well~
2007-02-24 17:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your not happy? Happiness comes from inside ones self not something you can obtain from another person. If your not happy you need to take a look at your life and see what it is that you can do for your self first. You say you have 2 kids, I would imagine that most of your time is taken up by them. But what do you do for yourself, outside interest, hobbies, friends. education... I'm not to sure what your relationship is with your husband.. But I'm sure if we replaced him with another man and gave it some time you would still be in the same place you were at when you were married. From experience the grass is never greener on the other side. Unless you are in a abusive relationship then that's a different story and you should get out!! However if you are not happy then that's saying something about were you are at in your own life. When you make changes in your self your relationship and those things around you change for the positive as well... There are lots of great books you can read to help you put things into perspective. Have you ever heard of Gary Zukav, I read his books when I'm feeling like a need encouragement. Well I hope I could help in some way, all the best to you...
2007-02-24 18:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by MrsPatron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't really love him to begin with(at least not the kind of love that marriage takes). Before it hurts the kids any worse, file for divorce. Sometimes people just jump into marriage without knowing a person well enough or confusing lust with love. YOu're not the first nor the last person that will ever make this mistake. A lot of it comes from inexperience or being too young, sometimes both. Learn a lesson by this and take your time to get to know a person better before doing it again. Remember that it not only hurts yourself, but it also has a big impact on the person that commits to you and especially your kids.
2007-02-24 17:58:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wendy, you need to get a grip, here. You are just going through a phase--millions do it and eventually snap out of it. You couldn't wait to get married--remember??? OOOH all gooey over this perfect guy---remember?? Well what happened??? Not so perfect now---should be out telling the 18 year old girls who can't live without their perfect man---tell them what they're in for. You better sit and communicate with your hubby--is he unhappy also??? Find out what is lacking--find out what would bring you two back together---harmony is required here....you can do it---and you better do it soon--you just don't walk away from a marriage and kids---walk out to what, another guy--and be unhappy again after 2 or 3 years?? Find nice easy stuff to do together, play Scrabble, rent a bunch of funny movies--take a walk, see a park or a museum, start doing dates again--if it is really really over--get a lawyer--and lots of money---he should get you out in 2 or 3 years--doesn't that sound nice?? Of course not---work on what you have--communicate and rediscover the partnership you had---SMILE, relax, be nice and good luck
2007-02-24 17:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To leave him is to is to gamble , you might win a little
or might lose a lot, or lost the whole lot.
Your wrong dicision will cost you big time. Your
children's future is in your wrong or right dicision.
Think right : choose right.
In the first place they didn't choose to be born.
So many children are suffering as a result of divorce.
You may not fully understand becos you didn't
experience it. But truly a disaster for almost every child.
My son was diagnosed with depression, anxiety,
aspergers syndrome, etc.
He distant himself from other children, he lost self
confidence. He has social phobia. He's 17yrs old now,,
but he considered his childhood not worth living. Up
to now, he hasn't got back to his confidence.
We can recover, especially if we choose to go,
but the children are always the victim.
I have to tell you that didn't choose it, I stayed in my
marriage all those times, but he left us, so i've no
other choice. I didn't love my ex at all. Ive few good
reasons I believe, but I was there for 10 yrs just
for the sake of my son, i love him and considered him.
I believe there are some things you can try to ignite
that dying love. There are some help out there.
Just search, , , , , search , search . .. not unless you
really don't wanna try it.
Think twice and decide right for all of you., especially
for your 2 innocent children.
Now it's all up to you. . .
.
2007-02-24 18:10:52 · answer #5 · answered by JUSS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like me , me, me, I'm not happy so I will wreck my kids life because my husband can't make me happy. selfishness isn't dead in your home, it is alive and well and thriving. as long as you are happy, the heck with your kids doing without a father and your husband trusting you to have his kids and not make him live like a pauper paying child support, as long as you get what you think will make you a happier person. you want the romance that your husband gave you to hook you, but guess what, you have 2 kids now, your value has erroded in the real world. you won't get the romance you dream of or it will be very short lived if at all.
romance is just an illusion and some women are addicts. don't expect to be chased and wooed like you once were.
2007-02-24 17:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must be the latest line for today. Marriage is not a game, that folks decide to end when the game is no longer fun. Please try to get to the bottom of whatever issues seem to be bothering you. After 4 years, 2 children, and unexplainable circumstance, you've suddenly fallen out of love???
2007-02-24 18:13:51 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to talk to your husband as soon as possible! that is a serious problem honey, how long are you going to be with your husband if you don't love him. talk to him and try to explain to him why. and before you do that please think of a good reason that your husband can understand you so well. i wish your not going to tell him you don't love him because you love somebody rather than him!
2007-02-24 17:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by honeyko_japan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him your not happy and you want a divorce that he can visit his kids that you won't keep him from his kids thats what i told my first husband i divorced him and got custody he got vistation plus he was ordered to pay child support my kids are grown now i was unhappy too back then so do what you feel
2007-02-24 17:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to marriage counselling and see if there is a reason why you are not in love with him anymore.....go by yourself at first and talk about it to see how you feel
2007-02-24 17:50:27 · answer #10 · answered by mary L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋