I have recently married and have 3 step children, all boy's, ages 16,18, and 22. The 16 and 22 year olds live at home and behave very well. The 18 year old was asked to leave some months ago, not because of me, due to his behaviour and lack of energy to find work. After meeting some of my Wife's friends and Parents from our Chuch they also have similiar problems with some of their Children. I raised 4 Children, 3 Girls and 1 boy and did not have the problems that my wife has or the other parents have with their Children. Why is it so? What do you think? I am lost to find a reason. My wife's Children were all raised the same. How many more of you out there have the same problem with Children being badly behaved and do not wish to work.
2007-02-24 17:41:50 · 10 answers · asked by Barry W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, how many of these women were single mothers???? Your wife was obviously a single mother atleast for sometime and sorry a woman and a man's presence in especially a boys life is extremely different.. she was probably working most of the time to make it by, and because of the divorce and because well women tend to by nature be nurturers and not disciplinarian types, the kids tend to be spoiled.. Men usually intimidate their kids.. from an early age , he's usually the good time dad/ mr. discipline hes the one that usually dishes out the rules, and punishes the kids when behaving badly.. so its usually easier for a man to get well behaved children more so then a woman, "not saying that all women are like this" but most women arent very good at discipline because we tend to worry about emotions, and feelings, more so then men. So kids learn how to get away with more from their mothers then their fathers.. its extremely hard for a mom to play both mother and father role to the kids..
For instance my life as a kid.. My father had custody of us, and we saw our mother every other weekend etc.. My father who is a WONDERRRRRRRRRFULLLLLL man, and the best father in the world.. was very old fashioned, strict, yet fair.. was high on morals and values , and teaching between whats right and wrong, etc.. my mother on the other hand was a push over, let us do whatever we wanted.. literally.. and was very easy going.. I thank god every day my father had custody of us, because if we had lived with my mother, i know we would of all been a bunch of society rejects.. we laughed when our mother tried to discipline us because she didnt scare us like our father did, our father only had to shoot us a look and we stood at attention.. he said jump we said how high, and it wasnt that he was a mean man, he just taught us from a young age to respect him and to be intimidated by him, we are all adults now, and to this day, our father says jump and we say how high..
So i think alot of it has to do with a lack of male influence.. in alot of these cases..
2007-02-24 19:01:44 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a junior high teacher and have about 100 7th and 8th graders. First my students are not badly behaved because I don't let them get that way. I keep them in check by leading by example (ie i use please, thankyou, praise them when their good, never yell or belittle the student). I let them know what the rules are( I don't tolerate disruptions, foul language, name calling, brawls etc). If they do something wrong, no matter how small, I ask them to control their actions. If they misbehave they know I will ALWAYS give them a consequence, usually missing recess, giving them a time out or calling their parents etc. CONSISTENCY is a must. Getting some to work is another matter, since I'm always focusing on keeping the class on task, teaching a lesson, or answering questions, the students not wishing to work may do nothing for weeks. They need internal motivation or motivation and oversight by their parents. Also, kids should only watch educational shows. Many kids programs and cartoons show kids behaving badly, a poor example on how to act.
2007-02-25 02:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by heartache 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please remember the Beatle's song, "All you need is love, All you need is love, love is all you need". Some children are more sensitive than others and have a hard time dealing with divorce and separation of the parents they loved. You should be really talking to this 18 year old and trying to bring him back. Asking a question on Yahoo may rid you of some guilt that you tried to do something, but fact is looks like you haven't really tried. He is just a human being, and if you have faith in yourself and you genuinely care for him, you would be able to bring him back. So, give him all the love you have, and I am sure you can make him do anything you want.
2007-02-25 02:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by TANJA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well a lot of teenager is this way because they are starting to think for them self, and they dont always make good decision it doesn,t mean they are bad kids they just making bad decision.i believe you can give a child to much if they work for what they get they will appreaciate it more because they worked for it.now they want to put our kids, on medication all the time to deal with our children ,schools are full of children on medication because the teacher,s dont want to deal with the children, if they have a learning disablity are whatever the case maybe.you, can have 6 kids thats raised in same house and maybe 2 misbehave and yet you treated them no different from rest of your children.see being a parent don,t come with a manual we do the best we can as parents.
2007-02-25 02:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by annjilena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the way the laws are now. And kids have power over there parents and they know parents can't do much. its terrible. THe power should be given bavk to the parents to handle there children. Look at how the kids are growing up today and mouthing off to there own parents swearing staying out at all hours getting into trouble and gangs. Its the laws we have now. we need to go back to where the parents rein and have the power not some loud mouth kid warning his parents he'll call the cops on them if they do this or that.
2007-02-25 01:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest thing is parents now try to be their friends children when they should just focus on being a good parent and disciplining them when needed make him make a decision it may require some tough love kick his butt out if he wont find a job.
2007-02-25 01:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by firetdriver_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was raised by a woman and had an abusive/slash deadbeat dad. That being said I am well behaved but have had issues from my abusive father but not to the degree of some of my siblings who dealt with him more.
If she raised them on her own then they'll feel burdened by the lack of or abuse by their father depending on the situation. To live with either abuse or a lack of a parent is damaging.
You love her so you aren't likely to see her issues as a parent. A lazy child is lacking.
2014-03-13 17:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lyle Dale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends how are you going to raise up your childrens. you have to have time for them. show them how much you care for them and how the wolrd around them can affect they're lifes. everything can explain so well so they can be a good persons someday! i have two daughters and as far as i'm concern i don't have any problems about them and besides they always give me happiness. i just show them how life can be easily if they will be a good persons!
2007-02-25 01:49:41 · answer #8 · answered by honeyko_japan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because parents have forgotten how to spank their butts. I spanked every one of my kids and they never acted out and if they did they knew what was waiting for them .
2007-02-25 09:05:45 · answer #9 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WEll, gee, you must be a perfect parent. If only we could all be like you!
2007-02-25 01:46:19 · answer #10 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋