My husband met this guy a few months ago on the job. They got close but the guy had a life... O.k. within the past month the guy`s wife left him and he started coming over at night while I work.. and they partied. MY husband and I separated for a week after a big fight.
Well my husband came back and the guy and his 12 yr old daughter moved in across the st,, now they are over all time. Topping it off the guy hurt himself at work so now the husband is going over there while I`m at work. I work sec shift , everytime I call he is over there or he is doing something for his new found family// Im mad as hell.
2007-02-24 17:35:47 · 25 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should talk to him and be open
2007-02-24 19:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by Nice Conv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is the guy driving you crazy? B/C he's getting all your husband's attention leaving none for you.
Why is the guy doing it? He's a needy person. He pulls people into his life so he won't have to handle it alone.
Why is your husband so intent on helping this guy? Maybe he sees part of himself in the other guy and hopes that someday someone will do the same for him. Maybe he's bored while you're at work and this guy is able to keep your husband's mind and emotions occupied so he won't be home wishing you were with him. Maybe he just likes helping people. Maybe he's gay. Maybe you really are scary and he actually wants out of the marriage and this seems to be the easiest way.
What can you do about it? Well first it might help to put your hurt feelings aside and see if you can logically figure out why this is happening. If he can't explain it, maybe there's a hint in there somewhere. If you can understand the driving force you may be able to come up with a good resolution. But it's probably not going to happen if you are always mad as hell.
2007-02-25 01:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The why is because you do not have the total, undivided attention of your husband. That you are angry over your husband helping someone out in need is sad. If you give it time, the new friend's situation will improve and the novelty of the whole situation will pass and life may get back to what is normal for you and your family.
And if you are at work, what does it matter if your husband spends time helping out someone in need. It's better than him hanging out with a new friend that is of the female persuasion.
2007-02-25 01:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by T esira 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your husband has just really connected with this dude. It's probably a good thing, although you may not see it that way.
Is your husband shirking his duties at home, or exhibiting irresponsible behavior that is negatively impacting your life? That's definitely a cause for concern. But if not, maybe you're a touch jealous that he's found a chum to hang with.
The biggest thing to share is communication and willingness to make your marriage work. That's what seems to be in jeopardy. Just talk it out with him...express your thoughts and concerns, and make sure you listen to his own feelings.
2007-02-25 01:43:31 · answer #4 · answered by Track One R 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And you think that he should sit at home and wait for you to come home? He works and in his free time when you are not there he hangs out with a male friend. He could be cheating on you count yourself lucky. Are you so controlling that you need your husband doing only the things you want him to do? New dude may be a bad influence but until your hubby blows his paycheck on booze for this guy or they start spending their money at strip clubs you really should not say anyting. You have some serious control issues that need to be addressed. Also some obvious issues with jealousy.
2007-02-25 01:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
This happens a lot when a man's wife leaves him. Your husband might just be trying to be a good friend to him. Try to be patient, as soon as he gets over all the hurt of his wife leaving him, your hubby will be back.
2007-02-25 01:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have a pretty big situation on your hands ! Well first of all I would try talking with you husband. If that didnt work out geez I would just ask one of your friends or even talk to the guy across the street, thats if nothing works out ! Hopes this helps !!=]
2007-02-25 01:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by Allie 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There must be a reason your Husband, so desperately needed a friend! Why be mad as hell, at Him? Just makes you even worse off!
2007-02-25 01:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by DORY 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband to choose a wife and stick with her..
Either you or the guy next door...
2007-02-25 01:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance had a similar life-sucking friend. He still comes around sometimes, but I've voiced my opinion on how much time I feel he should be spending with this guy, and my man listened. Speak up! Tell him that though you understand his friend is going through a rough patch, you feel it's taking away from time with his own family.
2007-02-25 01:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Beauty Bunny 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
GET OVER IT. DON'T WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT OTHERS, WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU DO. YOU CAN'T CHANGE OTHERS. IF YOUR HUSBAND IS PARTYING ALL THE TIME THEN HE NEEDS TO GET A LIFE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOMEONE ENJOYING A FRIENDS COMPANY? OR ARE YOU JELEOUS. WHY SHOULD YOU CARE IF YOU ARE NOT HOME? IS SOMETHING NOT GETTING DONE? IF NOT, YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM TRYING TO CONTROL HIM.
GIVE UP THE CONTROL.
2007-02-25 01:39:38 · answer #11 · answered by Big Daddy 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋