it was pretty weird and kinda upsetting for my mom to tell me she thinks shes pregnant shes freakin 43 and thats not cool she already has a 7yr. grandchild and thats really messed up. Im not so upset that she may be with child im more upset that the father isnt my dad and can never be because he passed away,and shes not married to this stupid guy that none of us really know. What advise do you guys have for me? im really confused!!!
2007-02-24 17:19:02 · 23 answers · asked by $tar in the making!!!!! 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She needs your support right now. It is scary to have a child in mid life. There are so many complications that can happen now that she didn't have to worry about back when she was younger. Down syndrome is common and well as diabetes and high blood pressure. Preeclampsia is also more common. Please support your mom what ever the outcome. She has to endure an amniocentesis. Can you imagine a needle going into your stomach? Ouch! Good luck and I wish the best for all of you!!!
2007-02-24 17:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your mother was a Grmo at 36?????? Geez she must have had her first baby in high school or her older child sure as heck did wait to turn 18 before having a baby - OR BOTH.
43 is a little old to be pregnant but to be honest no-one I know had a baby before they were 28 and most were between 33-35 when they had thier 1st child.
Well as far as your reaction goes it seems she intends to have this baby so you have no choice but to accept it. You may never really get to know the father or maybe you will and you will like him. It seems you are mostly upset because your father is not the father. He passed away, she didnt cheat on him and this is no way lessens his role in your life. Your mother has found someone new who cares about her. She is only 43 and could live another 40-50 years do you want her to be alone for all that time?
2007-02-25 07:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, that's a lot for you to deal with, hon.
I'm sorry that things must feel out of control for you.
Right now, 43 must seem really old to you, and it's middle-aged for sure, but your Mom is courageous to go through with having the baby. Many people would not even think of having a baby at that age.
I'm sure it is also hard to have your real Dad gone from you, as well. Can you speak with Mom about your feelings? Maybe she can help you sort things out. Or you could talk to a counselor at your school. Is there a sister or an aunt you can talk to?
I really wish you the best and hope that when the baby comes you will feel better about the whole situation.
Good luck.
2007-02-25 01:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Croa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not be pregnant. Why don't you wait on the outcome of that before you get upset about it? But tell your mother your concerns - you can remind her that you hardly know this guy and it's going to be hard to take him seriously as a dad and you're worried about her financial security and the child's. Tell her that she of all people should know that you really need to be married for a big step like having a baby. Ask her if this is a new lesson with new morals that she wants to teach you?
2007-02-28 11:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your age but if you are the Mother of the seven year old Maybe this is why your are not happy about your Mom being pregnant. You might think she could help you more with the child if she wasn't pregnant. I had my last child at 37and my daughter had a two year old. I still found time for my grandchild and my child too. They grew up together and were the best of friends. Don't be so unhappy about this it could be a blessing for all.
2007-02-25 01:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by barb.douglas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calm down. My Dad is 54 and has 11 year old triplets. Not with my mom. Everything happens for a reason and i love my little brothers and sister. You have to stop looking at the bad and look at the good. You should be proud that she could still have kids and she was sooooo lucky. I m trying to have kids and am having fertility problems. Any new baby to the world, either with a young or old mother is great!!!!
2007-02-25 01:24:19 · answer #6 · answered by TweeteR4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand that this could be upsetting for you...but i imagine that it's difficult on your mom, too. at her age i'm sure that a lot is going through her mind; she's gonna be a new mom, for christ's sake!! she's probably worried about the entire situation; she's at a financial burden, and emotional burden, and has to deal with the fact that she is going to be 63 when her child is 20.
i know this may not be what you want to hear, but you should try to be there for your mom right now. it is going to be hard for you to handle that this new brother or sister is not by your biological father, but things happen. if i read your question correctly, it sounds like your father has died...am i correct? if so, try to understand that a sexual relationship is an important part of one's self esteem...you can't condemn your mother for seeking that contact. your personal feelings will come into play here...how you feel about premarital sex...but you aren't in her shoes.
the only advice i have for you is to take some time to sit and think about what's going on for a few minutes. try to imagine what your mom is going through. think before you speak and try not to hurt her feelings...like i said, she's probably having just as hard a time as you are. also, i think it is important for you to come to terms with the fact that things are the way they are...they can't be changed just because they are unsettling. i hope things turn out well for you.
2007-02-25 01:31:20 · answer #7 · answered by simple 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's more weird is that a 43 year woman has a 7 year old grandchild LOL
Many women are having babies into their 40's. 43 is far from old.
2007-02-25 08:17:45 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is an adult and she is not old. She maybe old to someone like you who is most likely a teenager.
She may want to have another child. My mom was 38 when she had her last baby -my brother-
My parents had 7 kids together and our ages are 33,30,27-me,25,22,17 and 12
None of us acted like that when she was pregnant in fact my mom was pregnant 2 different times when my oldest sisters were pregnant.
My brother is younger than my sisters kids. I see nothing wrong in it. I think you are over-reacting.
You don't have to be married to be happy and have a kid.
Don't worry so much.
2007-02-25 01:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am almost 14 years older than my younger brother. We have a sister in between us. That is nothing strange. Remeber, no matter what we're going through, someone else has it worse. Be thankful for all the good aspects of your situation. Focus on the good instead of the things you disagree with.
Look online or in your local music store for an old-ish song called "I Am My Own Grandpa" and have a laugh, or a cry.
2007-02-25 16:47:13 · answer #10 · answered by fox3bhc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋