My FI and I are getting married in June and (for many reasons) we have decided to take my last name. I didn't think it would be that hard, but after reading this story, http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=2778930&page=1&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312, of a man trying to get his wife's last name, I'm not sure it will be so easy. We are out of state finishing school (GA) and are going back home (MO) to get married this summer. GA seems to be one of the states that it's easier for both individuals to change their names...
Any advice?
Should we have a civil (courthouse) marriage here and then having the ceremony in MO with all our family?
2007-02-24 16:30:32 · 10 answers · asked by Amanda K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For clarification...We are taking his last name for use as our middle names.
We will be announced Mr. and Mrs. S. K.
2007-03-01 02:45:14 · update #1
I think you should have a civil wedding in GA, where the name change thing is easier. That would be the legal part. Then have a ceremony later with loved ones, which will be the part that is truly meaningful. This is exactly what I did (for reasons unrelated to names) and it worked out fine. Good luck.
2007-02-24 18:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by Abigail 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should re-think this situation. In our country it is traditional for wives to take their husband's names OR keep their maiden name for professional reasons but go by their husband's name socially. When children are born they have their father's last name, so it is confusing if you have a different name. And when they are in school it's really confusing for the teachers. I have a cousin who took his wife's last name, so the kids have her last name and his father and mother are very hurt that their last name will not be carried on. This has affected their relationship greatly. Why are you doing this? Are you trying to hurt his parents? As I said, I'd re-think this. 99% of all people have the family name the same as the husband's family. To do otherwise makes a statement to society that you don't value this tradition. Most people will think you are disrespectful. Truly.
2007-02-24 16:40:57 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do NOT ask your husband to take your last name. A man needs to feel that others respect him.
Having him take your name will suggest to most people that he is an emasculated, submissive man.
People will envision you insisting that he sit when he uses the bathroom and him submissively complying.
Still, your children may care what other boys could become objects of ridicule (unnecessarily). (You may want to also name them "Sue" and "Mary" just to toughen them up for that.)
Mainly kidding, but people WILL understand that he is a submissive man.
A much better idea is to use your last name as your middle name and use your maiden name professionally if you want. Or, use it during a transition period.
The main point is to show respect for your husband's manhood; thus, do not have him take his wife's name.
2007-02-24 17:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wait to get married if you have two ceremony's the second one wont be as special, your family wont see the special day.
It will be more special if you do it with all your family there to see.
and it will be better to wait cause you will have more time to plan it and your family will be able to help and give you ideas of how to do the wedding.
and school will be out so that will be easier
good luck
have the wedding of your dreams. Don't do it fast give it time and plan it as you imagine it
you only get married once
2007-02-24 16:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds like your easiest choice is to file for a name-change independent of the wedding itself. Probably some simple paperwork and a small fee to file at a county courthouse or something.
2007-02-24 16:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by tvjames 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not just keep both your original names? a lot easier, a lot more accepted. I think a dude taking on his women's name is more gay that being gay. Just my opinion, but if people were honest on here, you'd get the same answer.
2007-02-24 16:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you want to be different then by all means go for it!! If you want to be a traditionalist then take his last name. If you want to save yourself a headache into the [possible] future keep your own.
2007-02-24 16:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by wahini on shore 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should to the Civil marrige and then the ceremony!!! CONGRATS
2007-03-02 14:19:27 · answer #8 · answered by mominkansas03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, I agree with you, you most certainly are not sane.
2007-03-04 12:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by blogbaba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no idea
2007-03-03 09:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋